Update on my "undate"
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| Thu, 03-15-2007 - 11:36am |
This is going to be very long - so if you're busy and don't feel like reading, don't worry - but if you haven't read a Danielle Steele novel in a long time, you might like it.
Ok - so some of you know that I met someone last Wednesday night...at an audition (where neither of us got cast). I was quite interested but didn't really know how to get in contact with him, and I had heard through the grapevine that he had a gf.
So I had a friend call - she found out he was still single, and interested, and asked her to give me his number. I called, he called, I texted, he texted, we met at a restaurant on Saturday night, and it looks like there's actually something "there."
Because of our conflicting schedules (and commitments we both had before we met), seeing each other more than once a week, if that, is going to be difficult for the next few weeks - so we have literally been burning up phone lines since Sunday - spending probably a total of 15 or so hours on the phone discussing our pasts, lives, hopes, dreams, etc. Significant "text flirting" takes place during the day as well, when neither of us really has access to the phone.
This has created a dilemma of sorts. Because we've spent so much time talking on the phone, we've probably gotten to know each other as well, if not better, as if we'd been dating steadily for a few weeks (or at least had been on several "non-movie" type dates - where conversation would be prevalent). The result is that things have probably moved emotionally faster than they would have if we HAD been able to see each other - and we haven't - and I'm not sure if I should be scared or not.
Every single one of our mutual friends has said the same thing - he's absolutely the nicest man I'll ever meet - kind, considerate, and wears his heart on his sleeve. He calls when he says he's going to call. He listens when I talk and REMEMBERS things - and he has acknowledged as well that it's been a long time since he's felt the way he does - and he's as scared as I am. He knows all the right things to say - but MEANS them.
All this from ONE actual face to face date and hours of phone conversation. I think my concern is more that I hear horror stories about "kissing frogs," etc. - and I never get the chance to kiss a frog - I don't date (not because I don't want to - it just doesn't work for me). It seems unreasonable that someone else could date for 5 years, kiss a bajillion frogs, and I find a potential prince right out of the box.
We discussed how things just "happened" the beginning of last week that coincidentally put us in the same place on Wednesday - and that a lot of things were actually working against that - yet we ended up there - and meeting - anyway.
So that's it, really - I'm really happy - and really scared.

Hi
I would definitely say to you to try not to overthink this, and to enjoy the way you are feeling. Easier said than done, I know.
It looks like you got off to a great start, and are both into each other. It would be great if you could remain emotionally detached for the moment until you two get to know each better. As others on this board have experienced, men who sometimes seem totally into us have been known to go off in a puff of smoke for no good reason. If you can keep your feelings in check, it is a way of protecting yourself should this happen.
I don't want to put a downer on your happiness at all, but you just need to be careful. Another poster also dated someone who came highly recommended by a friend, who was very keen on her, seemed wonderful, and then he just ghosted from one day to the next. It does happen, so protect yourself, while at the same time enjoying the lovely feelings you must be feeling right now.
Looking forward to hearing more updates as time goes on.
Clem xx
Holy Moly, do I ever know what you're feeling! Enjoy this happy, scared, rushed, exhilerated, enjoyable, frightening feeling!
It won't last forever, and after more actual dates, you will both have a better sense of whether or not an actual relationship will work.
Certainly some people do have to kiss a lot of frogs, but it only takes one to turn into a prince, and if you've found yours without having to go through all of that, so be it, and congratulations!
Keep us posted, we love stories!!
Moody, still kissing toads
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I agree totally with missclemmy - it all sounds good now - but you have to hold your heart back and give it time.
I would try to speak on the phone a little less and wait more for in-person dates. If you say all you have to say now, what do you have to look forward to?
It is great that your friends like him and they are rooting for you. Do keep us posted!
So here we are after the weekend...and I'm probably less frightened, and more anxious, than I was on Friday.
Saturday night, as planned, I went to see a show with some friends - "date" was working tech. After the show, he came downstairs, and the fear that the chemistry we had developed over the phone would dissipate when we saw each other was quickly put to rest. After greeting people, we drove back to my house and talked for hours...about how scared we both were that things were moving too fast, whether slowing down would actually benefit us at all, and what we were going to do.
I really really like him - and he really really likes me (my instincts are telling me this - and my instincts are usually right - I generally get into trouble when I don't listen to them). Things are going to be tough for a while - he works full-time AND goes to school full-time - so our time is limited - which is a good thing because we can get to know each other more over the phone.
We're both anxious, nervous, and scared...we're both feeling the same things at the same rate (or at almost the same rate), and we're both petrified. Even from the initial meeting, it's been a long time since someone has treated me this well...and I'm afraid that's just going to "suck me in" more.
We shall see - we have conflicting plans on Saturday (the only night we can spend together), so we'll meet at my house when we're both done. I'm trying not to be "pushy"...although I've called him a few times this weekend, he does the bulk of the calling (due to his schedule). I'm also trying to back off a bit on "relationship discussion" (something we did a lot of last week). Once we actually saw each other again, it seemed more fitting to stop talking about things and let them happen.
Will keep you updated...but for now, I'm hopeful :)