UPDATE: What have I done

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
UPDATE: What have I done
1
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 12:30pm

Hey everyone! I wanted to give you all an update on my drama.

We are together and are doing great.

I did kick him out and he took that time to reflect on what he had (or had not) done. It took one conversation with his mother to understand the true consequences of his actions. He told her why I had broken up with him and she said "I would have done the same thing." Woo hoo, mom!!!!!!!!!!! She said she broke up with her ex-boyfriend b/c of those same reasons. He hated her ex and the fact that his mother considered him to be on the same level of her ex really woke him up.

We had a looooong talk and I decided to let him move back in but made him sleep on the couch for a week. No matter how much I loved him, it couldn't let myself immediately trust him. It took about a month after he moved back in for us to get back to a more "normal" relationship.

He ended up getting a great job right after we broke up and it has made a big difference. (He applied for it while we were still together.) Looking back, I think part of the problem was that he didn't feel like a man financially and it effected his outlook. His confidence has gone up and he is much happier. I am thrilled. Ironically, I was laid off soon after we got back together and he has had to help out more financially. I think he likes to now that he can. ;-)

I figured out that I am ready for the next step in our relationship, i.e. engagement, and that I expect and need that type of responsibility from him. We aren't getting engaged soon or anything but that definately the maturity that I need from him. He agrees that is where we are headed and he is putting our relationship first.

Overall, we are very, very happy. One thing I learned from the breakup is that I want to be with him. I would rather be with him and his faults than without him.

Thank you all for the help that you gave me. I appreciate it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 2:11pm

I remember your first post back in March:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlsolomother/?msg=8818.1

This is great that he was able to come to his senses and change his ways. And I am so glad that our advice helped. Better still that you realized your own self worth and did not allow him to take away from that.

That is what we are here for! Keep us posted!! We welcome you to stick around and participate.

I am sure that all of the others will have good wishes for you, too.

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