On the upswing
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| Tue, 12-04-2007 - 2:46pm |
...and feelin' pretty good :o)
Maybe it's the caffeine kicking in, lol. The obstacles are still there...money, relationship and just being a single mom stresses. But somehow I'm feeling strong through it, as if the inner B.I.T.C.H. has stepped up or something. And that's coupled with a sense of peace which feels calming, and reassuring.
I worked out a budget for this month. December is horrendous on my single mom income. But at least now I have a plan, I know exactly what I can spend without going under. Things are tight, tight, tight...but I'm going to make it work.
My job is going well, too. I have a position that is growing and the potential for me to "move up the ladder" is great, as long as I keep up and go beyond. It is patient advocacy and I'm trying to implement several new sources of assistance for our patients. Lots of researching but will pay off, huge especially for patients. I could learn to be a bit more organized and less distracted though!
My relationship with Blue Eyes changed significantly after the drama of recent past. There is good news. I took this opportunity to grow personally and to reset and redefine my own boundaries. I was able to see them again in clear focus, and to be honest I have not done that, ever. In my 12 year marriage,

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I am so glad things are taking a turn for the better with BlueEyes. I hope HE sticks to HIS guns for you. He seems to make you so happy that I would hate to see that get messed up by his actions. If he's very smart at all...he won't mess up a good relationship.
Good feelings are so great!!
Pac-Sun,
Thanks for sharing all the good that is going on in your life!
Wow - you sound like you are in such a good place right now!
Hi , That is a nice post. I havent been able to post much these days.. But I thought I should say that I am happy you feel so good. Surprisingly I am also feeling very good today. Given that I had this heartache coz my ex comitted to some one (his words).. Not because he comitted, just that he dragged me on and on and he comitted to someone whom he met just a month ago! I was pouring buckets of tear for no reason really and was thinking everything from the time I met him.. and I slowly realised how much I had given him and that made me cry even more.. I know it is past.. but sometimes it really hurts when you have spent so much time with some one..and feel they actually didnt deserve it.
So well I guess I needed to cry and pour it out and get over it. My guy has been wonderful throughout. Last week was difficult for us because of my sadness.. I would just tell him that I am feeling disturbed sometimes..
But I really had to get over this only this way.. So well it does hurt when you have spent your prime time for a guy who didnt really deserve it..
My BF and me have been watching lots of netflix movies these days. We got an account and are now having fun queing up movies.
I do want to see the pic of your dress !!!! Iam a sucker for these things :-)
I am so happy to hear about your daughter.. I really want to have a daughter.. Nothing against boys but it is kind of my one dream to have a daughter.
Isnt it funny when you are feeling not so good for somereason and then suddenly everything seem to disapear one day and you feel so good , happy .. happy enough to dance!
Sh*t ... GO THERE
Thanks, Sharon. He does make me happy, but I'm being smart about it...
:o)
OK, I'll try and get a pic of me in the dress. Maybe when I'm all dolled up for the party. Ogtta get my good side, lol!
I have not seen "the Secret" yet, but I have been wanting to. The power of positive thought and positive intention is very real. I have been trying practice that every day...focus on the good and the good will become more abundant...
thank you for your thoughts!
Hi Dance,
It's nice to see your post..I know that you have been struggling with the ex issue and his new found "committment". I know it hurts, but I hope you can realize eventually that those are his issues of security and they have nothing to do with how you were with him. Your was a relationship with a time and life of it's own and it's gotta be torture if you try to compare your time and effort with this new thing he has going on. I hope that you can see that he is most likely into something now that has somehow allowed him to move quickly...and that is not to say it is right.
I am glad to see your update too and I am happy you do have a guy that shares your life with you now, even in the down times, he sounds very understading :o) You are lucky to have one another!
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