Venting here...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2008
Venting here...
12
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 5:25pm

This doesn't have to do with dating.

It's okay to jump...you have wings! 

To move forward...you have to stop looking back.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 5:28pm
((((HUGS))))

~~Tiny


I want

~Karen
˙·٠•●♥Ƹ̵̡&#1244
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2008
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 5:46pm

Thanks!

It's okay to jump...you have wings! 

To move forward...you have to stop looking back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 5:51pm

Vent away...


I'm sorry your DD is the one caught in this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2008
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 6:10pm

DD is 6-years old and she "gets it."

It's okay to jump...you have wings! 

To move forward...you have to stop looking back.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 7:40pm

I think it would be very painful to observer a child's parent ignores her/him.


I believe that anyone's behavior comes down to family-of-origin where we all learn how or not to parent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 10:03pm

"So the next time XH picked her up, she requested to be home by a certain time so she could watch her TV show."

That is just hilarious - in a sad way - but she is one smart cookie! Gotta give her credit for that.

I agree it is painful to watch what you are seeing - but the thing that is great for you is that you get more time with them. Cherish it and be grateful for the privelege - that is what I did for all the times my exh chooses stupid things over time with his son.

The thing that is hard - is that often the very thing the exh did do you - he does to the kids. And there is nothing you can do except be there for them.

You do have some great answers here - hopefully they have helped in some way. You are not alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2008
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 10:44pm

<< That is just hilarious - in a sad way - but she is one smart cookie! Gotta give her credit for that. >>


She is very smart! In K, but functioning at a 2nd grade level academically.

It's okay to jump...you have wings! 

To move forward...you have to stop looking back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 10:46pm

Those of us who are self aware and conscious and concientious about our parenting, we make deliberate choices how we do things the same or differently from how we were raised.


this is SO me.


I suspect that DD's father did not bother to learn how to be a parent, not interested in learning and is operating from an unconscious mode of how he was raised.


this is SO my kids dad.


mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2008
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 10:49pm

<< All each of us can do is be the best parent we can be since we cannot control the other. >>


That statement are the very words I live by.

It's okay to jump...you have wings! 

To move forward...you have to stop looking back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2007
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 11:16pm

One very tiny thing I've pointed out to the ex is that he cannot make them happy by buying them crap at the mall. Yes they love it when they get it. That will only ensure that they will expect him to sign the check when I say something is unreasonable. He seems to have listened thus far, and is buying them things like clothes, etc.

I was surprised at how the kids took it in stride when their dad lost everything, (home, car, etc) well after the divorce, but if I'm sick they worry. I didn't want him to be that way, he just was. I do try to be help in making sure they have a positive relationship with their dad. At this point, he rents a room from the hotel he works at about once a month and I drive the kids down, about an hour's drive. My friends are pissed that I make this concession, but I think its better for my kids to just do it. They know I'm the one making sure it happens, without me pointing it out. They have a fun time with their dad, who is otherwise fairly absent from their day to day life. You have to make you own decisions. What I remind myself of is that the high road is always best when it comes to kids & divorce.

Pages