Yikes about the father of your student... I wouldnt' get involved with him at all! He's not yet divorced, plus- it sounds like the separation is still VERY fresh as well... which means he is probably open to anything in a skirt right now (sure sounds like it, if he is willing to hit on his own son's teacher!)
You want someone who is RIGHT for you... know that he is not IT. And as for the son... he might be having trouble with school partly because of the breakup of his parents. The LAST thing you need to do, is get involved in all that, especially as the boy's teacher.
I'm not sure what to tell you about the friend- except that he is afraid of ruining the friendship by turning it into something romantic. Especially if he was recently(?) divorced, and knows you have been through it twice. Relationships can be rough!
Welcome to the board, though I'm not sure if I helped any!
~shrimpy
It's never too late to live happily ever after, and always be grateful for those who make our souls blossom.
Thanks for your reply. You are right about my students father. I guess the lonliness is thinking for me but I'm not going to get invovled with him . As for my friend, he has been divorced for a pretty good while. I think he is afraid of commitment, but at least he has always been honest with me. I just wish he would change his mind. There was one time that he came over and things got a little heated intimately and he stopped himself because he said that he would not go there with me unless he is ready to commit. I can't decide if that means he cares alot about me or he is just not interested.
Thanks for the advice. You are right about sex. I would never feel right afterwards, having sex with someone just for sex. I have decided not to invite my students father to my house, because he does utimately want sex and that is not happening. I'm not sure if I will go out with him, if I do I would rather meet up with him for dinner or a movie.
Hello and welcome - you have come to the right place!! And wow - the others have written great ideas - I always love to read how each one thinks of something really good that someone else didn't - and then you end up with a lot of good responses.
It is great that you have had a good friend to carry you through the hard times - but sad for you that you like him so much and he doesn't want to take it to the next level. I think all of us have experienced this frustration and disappointment at least once - we have had posts here recently about the same thing - so you are not alone.
In my mind if I was you I would halt the friendship for right now with the friend who doesn't want to go further - because I think if you do that means you do have feelings for him - and as long as you do you are not going to have an open mind to doing new things and making new friends and moving on to someone who will want to hold you and spend time with you.
Just getting out and being more social can make such a difference in your outlook - although that is not as easy said as done of course. I am sure you have ways to reach out and make more friends in your every day travels - and there is always the addition of the gym, hobbies, church, meetup groups for more friends. I think having this social net will help your outlook and that will make you strong enough for dating.
Lonely + Dating = DISASTER in my mind - because loneliness makes it much harder to withstand rejection that is always encountered in dating and you might be tempted to hang onto one that has major problems just because you like the company.
I read this great quote in one of my dating books - it said something like "build a great life and then add the right man to it" - and I think that is good.
Exactly - it sounds from what you write that you need to get out and get more friends, more experiences, more fun times and more confidence to be you! Tomorrow is always a new day!!
We hope you stick around here and enjoy our threads and discussions and participate - you will learn a lot - as I and the others have. We have a great diversity of backgrounds and experiences - but we are all positive and supportive and we share a common goal to date mindfully as single mothers so we can find someone who truly loves us and appreciates us and is capable of a good relationship. Although many are in a "non dating" stage - and many are in all stages from not dating, looking to date, dating, in a relationship, engaged, married, divorcing. We even have a couple guys who chime in from time to time to offer their advice and support and we are grateful for them because they are special and they show us that their are good ones out there.
ITA with Soonee and the others on this one. I teach too and I would never entertain the idea of dating a student's father. The students come first and lets face it most of my relationships have ended in some way or another or else ( you guessed it !) I would be happily married by now. So with that track record I dont need to be complicating my students lives this way. I did date someone at my son's school a few years ago and let me tell you it has been a constant source of frustration ever since. The guy was a total jerk and every time I am at school we run into each other and it is hard to even look at him. He practically stalked me at the end of my time with him and even though his son is super sweet, my son cannot be on playdates with him because it gives his loser father a chance to get to me again and I will not expose myself to him ( haha, but really) again because of the level of toxicity that was there at the end. I know I am doing the right thing now but I would give a lot to go back and just NEVER DATE HIM in the first place. I think the idea of getting out more and joining a meetup is a great one!! You just need to broaden your circles and network so you are really able to be choosy and get someone great for you....best of luck and please stick around!
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I'm craving for someone ( the right one) to hold me.
I know how you feel.
Yikes about the father of your student... I wouldnt' get involved with him at all! He's not yet divorced, plus- it sounds like the separation is still VERY fresh as well... which means he is probably open to anything in a skirt right now (sure sounds like it, if he is willing to hit on his own son's teacher!)
You want someone who is RIGHT for you... know that he is not IT. And as for the son... he might be having trouble with school partly because of the breakup of his parents. The LAST thing you need to do, is get involved in all that, especially as the boy's teacher.
I'm not sure what to tell you about the friend- except that he is afraid of ruining the friendship by turning it into something romantic. Especially if he was recently(?) divorced, and knows you have been through it twice. Relationships can be rough!
Welcome to the board, though I'm not sure if I helped any!
~shrimpy
It's never too late to live happily ever after, and always be grateful for those who make our souls blossom.
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Thanks for the advice. You are right about sex. I would never feel right afterwards, having sex with someone just for sex. I have decided not to invite my students father to my house, because he does utimately want sex and that is not happening. I'm not sure if I will go out with him, if I do I would rather meet up with him for dinner or a movie.
I'm not going to get involved with him
Smart move!
Hello,
Hello and welcome - you have come to the right place!! And wow - the others have written great ideas - I always love to read how each one thinks of something really good that someone else didn't - and then you end up with a lot of good responses.
It is great that you have had a good friend to carry you through the hard times - but sad for you that you like him so much and he doesn't want to take it to the next level. I think all of us have experienced this frustration and disappointment at least once - we have had posts here recently about the same thing - so you are not alone.
In my mind if I was you I would halt the friendship for right now with the friend who doesn't want to go further - because I think if you do that means you do have feelings for him - and as long as you do you are not going to have an open mind to doing new things and making new friends and moving on to someone who will want to hold you and spend time with you.
Just getting out and being more social can make such a difference in your outlook - although that is not as easy said as done of course. I am sure you have ways to reach out and make more friends in your every day travels - and there is always the addition of the gym, hobbies, church, meetup groups for more friends. I think having this social net will help your outlook and that will make you strong enough for dating.
Lonely + Dating = DISASTER in my mind - because loneliness makes it much harder to withstand rejection that is always encountered in dating and you might be tempted to hang onto one that has major problems just because you like the company.
I read this great quote in one of my dating books - it said something like "build a great life and then add the right man to it" - and I think that is good.
Hello,
"Maybe we don't need to be friends right now."
Exactly - it sounds from what you write that you need to get out and get more friends, more experiences, more fun times and more confidence to be you! Tomorrow is always a new day!!
We hope you stick around here and enjoy our threads and discussions and participate - you will learn a lot - as I and the others have. We have a great diversity of backgrounds and experiences - but we are all positive and supportive and we share a common goal to date mindfully as single mothers so we can find someone who truly loves us and appreciates us and is capable of a good relationship. Although many are in a "non dating" stage - and many are in all stages from not dating, looking to date, dating, in a relationship, engaged, married, divorcing. We even have a couple guys who chime in from time to time to offer their advice and support and we are grateful for them because they are special and they show us that their are good ones out there.
Peace!
I teach too and I would never entertain the idea of dating a student's father. The students come first and lets face it most of my relationships have ended in some way or another or else ( you guessed it !) I would be happily married by now. So with that track record I dont need to be complicating my students lives this way. I did date someone at my son's school a few years ago and let me tell you it has been a constant source of frustration ever since. The guy was a total jerk and every time I am at school we run into each other and it is hard to even look at him. He practically stalked me at the end of my time with him and even though his son is super sweet, my son cannot be on playdates with him because it gives his loser father a chance to get to me again and I will not expose myself to him ( haha, but really) again because of the level of toxicity that was there at the end. I know I am doing the right thing now but I would give a lot to go back and just NEVER DATE HIM in the first place.
I think the idea of getting out more and joining a meetup is a great one!! You just need to broaden your circles and network so you are really able to be choosy and get someone great for you....best of luck and please stick around!
Pages