Avery looks so beautiful in that pic!!! Start saving up for the electric fences as I always say!! Taz is such a moron. I am sure youa re right that he will hang himself eventually but I think you are correct in wanting that to happen sooner rather than alter especially since it is practically inevitable. I would call him as you were thinking and let him know that he can get a copy of the records and that he is not to talk about it in front of her. He will upset her eventually over it and it should be allowed to escalate. Then if you have it on tape, you will have something. I am sure he will go on and on about how you were out last night like a bad girl but come on!! He was dropping her off at 7:30 right? And he wasted some of his time already with her by being a moron and forgetting his pick up time. I mean what time does DD got to bed on a school night anyway? My DS goes to bed at 8 so by staying out if I were you it would have cost me exactly 30 minutes of time with him. Hello? That is so not a big deal when we all spend so much time together already. You deserve to be able to go out and have fun and everyone needs that! Sounds like he just doesnt like the idea of you having fun or going out with friends or a date to me and that is totally HIS problem. The way I see it the quicker he blows his top, the quicker he can get reprimanded by lawyer or courts and the quicker he has to see the result s of his bad behavior which is the only way he would ever want to change - if he never has to be accountable he will never change and that's holding out hope that that is even possible!! I hope so for Ave's sake! BIG HUGS for you over there - you handled it all great!
Well I totally get taping the telephone conversations. I have a recorder attached to my phone because Psychoboy flat out denies saying things he has said. Mostly now I simply do not talk to him on the phone as the recorder is difficult to set up quickly. I let him leave a message (he can't claim entrapment, he knows it is recording) or it has to be e-mail contact. And the whole I "have" to go sailing, I "have" to go dancing, I "have" to knock back 4 martinis...these guys just can't differentiate between wants and needs.
Good luck, at least Taz is going to counseling. There is still some hope with that.
I get that you have issues and he's done horrible things. BUt he does have a point, if you aren't gonna be with her, why shouldn't he be? He has not legally abused or neglected her and he's right, it's just what the doctor is recommending. He took the marriage ending badly and he was abusive and an ass, and it sounds like he's not fully over you and he was an ass to his daughter too. But it's his child too. And he lost out of seeing her every day, and you are leaving her with a sitter. Just saying, I see his point of view and it keeps the drama stirred up.
1. he had been emotionally & verbally abusive to her - & yes, neglectful in some ways (not having food in the house - my having to pay for & have a pizza delivered so she could eat, etc - until i started sending food with her during her visits b/c he would claim he didnt have any money to feed her ... yet he was often seen out drinking - with the money he "didnt have"). Thats why he lost all visitation, for 8+ months.
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Taz is such a moron. I am sure youa re right that he will hang himself eventually but I think you are correct in wanting that to happen sooner rather than alter especially since it is practically inevitable. I would call him as you were thinking and let him know that he can get a copy of the records and that he is not to talk about it in front of her. He will upset her eventually over it and it should be allowed to escalate. Then if you have it on tape, you will have something. I am sure he will go on and on about how you were out last night like a bad girl but come on!! He was dropping her off at 7:30 right? And he wasted some of his time already with her by being a moron and forgetting his pick up time. I mean what time does DD got to bed on a school night anyway? My DS goes to bed at 8 so by staying out if I were you it would have cost me exactly 30 minutes of time with him. Hello? That is so not a big deal when we all spend so much time together already. You deserve to be able to go out and have fun and everyone needs that! Sounds like he just doesnt like the idea of you having fun or going out with friends or a date to me and that is totally HIS problem. The way I see it the quicker he blows his top, the quicker he can get reprimanded by lawyer or courts and the quicker he has to see the result s of his bad behavior which is the only way he would ever want to change - if he never has to be accountable he will never change and that's holding out hope that that is even possible!! I hope so for Ave's sake!
BIG HUGS for you over there - you handled it all great!
Well I totally get taping the telephone conversations. I have a recorder attached to my phone because Psychoboy flat out denies saying things he has said. Mostly now I simply do not talk to him on the phone as the recorder is difficult to set up quickly. I let him leave a message (he can't claim entrapment, he knows it is recording) or it has to be e-mail contact.
And the whole I "have" to go sailing, I "have" to go dancing, I "have" to knock back 4 martinis...these guys just can't differentiate between wants and needs.
Good luck, at least Taz is going to counseling. There is still some hope with that.
QB
Rebecca, once again I'm sorry you and DD are dealing with this stress.
I worry a little bit about you calling him just to tape his rage.
Well, I called him. & Im glad, he was fine.
Boy Taz is a donkey! I think you do very well keeping your temper with him, I'd be blowing my top!
CL of
~ Aussie & Kiwi Mums ~
Email me!
Tracy
Nope- you are mistaken.
1. he had been emotionally & verbally abusive to her - & yes, neglectful in some ways (not having food in the house - my having to pay for & have a pizza delivered so she could eat, etc - until i started sending food with her during her visits b/c he would claim he didnt have any money to feed her ... yet he was often seen out drinking - with the money he "didnt have"). Thats why he lost all visitation, for 8+ months.
Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!
OOoohhh Kitty.... there's so much going on here under the surface.
I see what you're saying, and in most cases I would agree with you.
Your DD's picture is adorable.
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