Visitation

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Visitation
11
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 4:08pm
With my first split, XH immediately began to take DS every other weekend. And because he lived out of state, his mother took his Wednesday visit in his place. SHe no longer does that since she lives an hour away and he is not in school but he continues to take his DS when he needs to. Shane has yet to take Emily on a weekend. There is always some excuse for work that he has to attend a function or play golf with his boss....etc. While I understand that because he asked for such a hefty salary he feels obligated to attend work functions (I would too) he needs to be aware also that I am alone at home with 2 kids and he has agreed to be responsible. I was invited out this Saturday night. Well, I asked him to watch them and of course, his employee function that he mentioned would be coming up is this Saturday and then golf on Sunday with his boss. (Do car guys do anything but play golf and poker????) Anyway, I called and asked him when he planned to begin watching them overnight or at least every other weekend when DS is out of town. He said he would. I told him he needed to start doing that because it was unfair how he was treating this situation. He drags the separation out with no real clue as to what he wants, he has every night to himself, he visits when it's convenient and other than that, I am to do it alone. I told him I wanted and expected results. I told him that this is a holiday weekend and I am stuck at home and it was unfair that he got the whole weekend to do what he wanted and refused to split it with me at least. SO he's going to hire a sitter for me. We'll see....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
In reply to: lissa91
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 9:48am

"Just thought of something for you. Have you sat down and crunched the numbers for being alone? Look at your bills and your projected living expenses and see if you are okay? See what you need. I think you should start thinking about the finances - how you are going to split stuff, etc."

As for belongings, that remains to be seen since we are still not sure if we are split for good.

But money...I want my own account and I am going to talk to him about that. I am going to tell him I just need that in order to feel independent. I set up what I pay and what he needs to pay and I added my child support from Scott and what I should get from Shane (already asked a lawyer about that and it's the same figure Shane quoted...$1500.00) and I can pay bills fine and he will have his bills and we will both still end up sitting pretty at the end of each month granted neither of us go overboard. I won't but he could. Heck, I could quit working and survive on child support alone from both "baby daddies" LOL! It's nice to have been married to successful men! LMAO!

~M~

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