The waiting is the hardest part...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
The waiting is the hardest part...
16
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 12:21pm

... every day see one more card, you take it on faith, you take it to the heart, the waiting is the hardest part.

An update on my weekend and recent life. Still no word from Boss or Double D. Still not surprised. Boss has been signed into the messenger we use, and has checked my OLD profile regularly. However, he hasn't contacted me, so I've written him off. I have too much to do to sit around waiting for him.

Double D still approaches me at work to make inane conversations that are completely non-work related- but he is friendly, not flirty, which is typical of his behavior from the get-go, so it's hard to tell if he's trying to give me some sort of sign. He will either ask me out again or we'll be friends. Not a big deal, in fact, not sure I'd want to get too involved with Double D anyhow, since work and play don't always mix that well, and we work at a rumor mill.

Cardio and I have been Iming several times a day and are still talking on the phone nearly every day. He's always the caller, he intiates the IMs, and he asks regularly when we can meet. I expect we'll go to lunch one day this week and see how it goes. Not sure if I said much about him, but he's a divorced father of three, he's 44, and he's definitely got the personality so far that I'm compatible with. My humor tends to be sarcastic and dry, and he can not only handle it, but truly appreciate it. I don't have to explain myself- nor do I feel compelled to- with Cardio. He moved to this area about 8 months ago for work, and is enjoying it.

I'm still trying not to place too much emphasis on Cardio- given my very recent track record, initial impressions might not mean all that much, and the amount of time I spend talking to a guy obviously doesn't mean anything- not everyone's as honest and upfront as I am, and some people I think are simply confused. I'm not confused about myself or what I want, and we'll see if Cardio turns into anything.

My cousin is now regularly telling me about her boyfriend's friend. He didn't end up coming out with him, so I haven't met him yet. My major concerns were that guys my age typically live a WHOLLY different lifestyle, but evidently he has two kids a little younger than mine, and is looking for a serious relationship. I might have a game night or something Friday with my cousin, her boyfriend, and whomever they choose to bring along. We'll see. I'm trying to keep an open mind, and continue to put myself out there, so to speak.

Let's see... we're all home today, the kids are both too ill to go to school but not too ill to drive me nuts. Saturday I took the Princess with me shopping- two of my girlfriends came with their children, so in all we had 5 kids 5 and under- holy moly was that a LOT of work! Yesterday had to run a few errands, then Droid got home and was ill, so we hung out, visited my parents, and just tried to relax.

I did spend more time than normal proactively utilizing the OLD website- I normally sign up, fill it out, and wait to see who initiates contact. I've been perusing profiles, though, and although I haven't yet initiated any contact, I'm floored by the amount of men who openly say they're just looking for sex. I'm actually wishing more men who were would just say that, since then people looking for more than that can move on without wasting any time with those guys. I almost want to contact one of them and ask if his honesty has been successful for him- but I wouldn't want him to think I was interested in a relationship like that! But I'm going to continue to search now, instead of simply waiting for the guy to come to me.

I guess you're all updated now on my life the last couple of days.

Moody, trying to remember that patience is a virtue


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 12:36pm

Totally agree on the FWB thoughts Moody. As long as its 2 agreeing, consenting adults - its fine

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 3:45pm

This was my point... if a man I barely knew expected sex from me, I would assume he had no respect for me as a person. And whether or not, I also "just want sex" doesn't change the fact that he had no respect for me as a person.

btw, what's FWB?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 5:06pm
Hey West,
When I was in uber picky mode I limited myself to tall, in shape or preferably lanky thin, and fair haired guys. Nice hands were a plus, non smoking a must (that one is non negotiable), similar musical taste and a skier were desirable. But after 3 Month Fling Guy, who met all of the above, but still wasn't the guy for me, I decided to just be open to whoever expressed a strong interest in me, chalk it all up to dating practice. Figured I wouldn't get all goofy and revert to a love sick middle school girl like I did with 3 MFG. That worked out well, and I was able to take my time with M, not get all screwy, develop our relationship as close friends while falling in love. M is tall and blond with very nice and skillful hands (in all the right ways- not working on cars ways-LOL), and he skis, but he needs to lose 20lbs at least- he's recently found out it is having negative effects on his health. And he is into country music and classic rock, I detest country music, more a classical, opera, jazz kind of gal. But we just plain fit well together, and he makes it very clear how he feels about me, which it very important to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 7:04pm

That is a very good thought process - I like that. Thanks for sharing with us.

It is funny how you prefer fair-haired guys. I prefer dark-haired guys. Also agree on the no smoking thing!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 7:34pm
A FWB is a friend with benefits, a situation that is fairly common. People might do something friend-like together- it's more than a simple booty call, yet they know there's no romantic interest other than lust. Neither wants to be in a relationship with the other- and sometimes they know they're enjoying being single too much to want to be in a relationship at all.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 8:43am

I think that is a good definition, Moody!

I have had FWB relations - mostly in my earlier college and post college years. Usually you are friends with a guy and "something" happens. But neither of you is really looking for something long term or even exclusive. No expectations - you just enjoy being friends and hanging out. Usually what happened in those days is that one of us went on to a different school or another job in our career or to someone else. Sort of like a fling - but friends first?

Now I am looking for someone who wants to be friends first - but who is settled in their life and who wants a relationship and who is into me. I have had to side step a lot of flings along the way - because I know I don't want that anymore.

I think the most recent was MrRunner - he was just looking for a training partner - always wanted to call and talk about HIS training and just wanted to ride bikes together on the weekend so he had something to do. I didn't mind that for a starter - but it was all he wanted to do - clearly not into ME - and the reason I sidestepped that is because I have a good chance of meeting someone nice on my bike - and how would I do that if I was riding with him? The old me would have not thought of myself and what I want and would have accomodated him.

I have been meeting guys on my bike!! None that are a match yet - but at least I am getting chatted up and enjoying the socialization out of my home office!

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