Walk me through this PLEASE
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Walk me through this PLEASE
| Thu, 04-19-2007 - 7:54pm |
Hi guys, well I did it you know, I put up an OLD profile, and I think a pretty good one, and I got a bunch of responses , and one nice one. He is local,like 15 min. same age, knows some of the old names from high school I do, and is pretty cute. No kids, never been married. Well we have sent like 2 sentence messages to each other, and he's asked to exchange phone numbers. My first instinct is to say sure why not, but I am such a bad judge that I do want all the advise I can get in this one,, when I go it alone, I seem to pick the same angry man, different town.
So do I give him the number????DADADA.suspense
Flo

Why not?
When I look at a profile I like to see that they don't smoke, write a lot of stuff about game playing or just negative stuff about women, have a near compatible religion and a few things in common. Living close by is essential, too. You can also tell a lot about their pix - I just posted one story about a guy that had tattoo sleeves - that is a no-no for me.
When I get to the phone I like to hear their voice and "vigor" - are they happy/pleasant? If they blab and blab about a horrendous relationship or life experience that gets them out. It is fun to just have a conversation. Hopefully they want to meet.
I think it is better to meet sooner rather than later - although I don't like an introductory letter that asks to meet right off the bat. That gets them the delete key about 95% of the time.
I try not to exchange too deep of a topic/conversation in the email - because I really only want to use the OLD thing to meet more people.
I think the biggest difference between now and when I used to do OLD is that I am a lot more casual. I am so comfortable being single that I don't envision myself marrying any time soon. I just want decent activity partners. I am not looking for "the one" - and quite frankly, I don't think you could know if someone is the one until you have spent a lot of time with them.
Sometimes people appear really good on paper but over time they just don't click or have integrity or the stuff that makes a lasting relationship work. But other people that look a little plain or who you might not like that much at first really pan out over time and a great friendship and memories develop - I guess that is why I always encourage everyone to take it slow.
I hope it helps - it is just my approach. The bottom line is you and what you want and what you feel comfortable with. If YOU want to meet him right now, say that is okay. And if you want more email time or more phone calls, say that instead.
Laurie
I think if you're questioning at all, let him know you simply aren't comfortable yet. If he bails, hand him a bucket, since you didn't want him anyhow.
If he sticks around, start sending slightly longer messages, and see what his response is. Some people aren't into typing as their number one form of communication, but if he isn't making any effort to get to know you, he doesn't really want to, and won't on the phone, either.
By the way, funnyguy is computer savvy, but doesn't type fast. We still talk daily on the phone AND through email and IM. Email and IM would not be his preferred method of communication, yet we do it because it's one of the most convenient ways for us to keep in touch. I guess what I'm getting at is that if he wants to contact you, he won't let the fact that he would rather see or talk to you prevent him from doing so.
Take it all at your own pace- if you feel comfortable give him your number. One thing- I never give out my house number, only my cell. I feel like it's safer, and there's a handy little ignore feature, not to mention it's more convenient for the people I do want to have contact with.
If you're getting any vibes at all that you don't want to give hm your number, just don't.
Keep us posted!!
Moody, who's a chatterbox tonight
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Well thanks, like I said my first instinct was sure, but I need to learn how to manuver in the waters of OLD, since it really is my only way of meeting people , and I figure you take as much of a risk saying yes to a date with someone you might meet at a gas station or some other random place.. So I gave it to him, lets see what happens ,,
I got a message from Angry Alpha male, his new nick name, and all it was , was 2 sentances. "I miss u so much. I am hurting without you.",, well I did respond, but I used the oppurtunity to tell him how rotton he was, and I'm done...it felt good, sorry, the bitch in me.. I know I probally should have ignored him, but I had to have my say,,,
So that is my update,, thank god I am done with finals this week again, and have a homework free weekend. DS has been at his Dads, and I go get him in a couple hours, and I can't wait to have him back.. Have a great weekend all,
Florence
I used the oppurtunity to tell him how rotton he was, and I'm done...it felt good
Florence, If that's what you needed for closure, then Bravo for you!