Wallowing
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| Tue, 03-20-2007 - 5:34pm |
Hey all, well i havent been on here lately, i lost the hard drive on my comp, so i had some fixing to do, thank god I had a good warrenty!! I am reading all and catching up with everyone,,I have a sadness today though. Every day on my way home, I pass my x "it" on the turnpike. He doesnt see me or even know I am in the area, but it just kills me,It makes me feel that rejection all over again.
Now most of the time I am pretty good, and dont let the memories in, and I have moved on a great deal, but this is ridicilous,, I mean talk about being tortured. He broke my heart into a million pieces, and I have worked hard to get over it and be a strong mother and I know I feel better tomorrow, but for now, it sux. I cant go a different way home, I've even tried stopping to get a coffee or something to avoid him, but without fail, everyday there he is,
Oh I'm just having a pity party, pay no mind to me..

Some days are just like that, you think you've moved beyond being hurt by your X and then wham, back into the doldrums. Sounds like you are still early in the process, it does get better over time. Allowing myself to go through the rage phase helped get past caring about my X. I always recommend the book "Rebuilding" by Bruce Fisher for those struggling with moving on. I just took it out and reread a few pertanant chapters today to refocus on the positive aspects of my life. Do something good for yourself today.
Hope you feel better, tomorrow.
Sorry to hear you are having a sad day. I think we all have those from time to time - and they are especially worse in the beginning. I remember I used to get really sad when I would think of the hurtful things my exh did to me and how hard I tried but it didn't matter.
One of these days, when enough time passes, you won't have that open wound. You just need enough time and activities.
Sorry to hear about the comp.
As far as passing your ex on the turnpike, what I would do if there was absolutely no way around it is play some music in the car that completely reminds me why I'm better off. Maybe it's "I will survive", maybe it's a song you love that always cheers you up, maybe it's "You oughta know", maybe it's a song you know he hated, and now you can play it as loud as you like. Or tune into a newsradio program, where you can agree or disagree with the program, and focus on that.
Sorry you have to do this every day, but I think if you stop paying attention to it, it'll stop bothering you. Just think of what's great about you, and what isn't great about him. Focus on what's in your car- don't be unsafe, but don't even look around while driving through the area you see him. Look forward, which I mean literally and metaphorically.
Moody, the world's worst driver, probably
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Hahahaha- that's exactly what I said before reading your post! She could make a "I'm better off without him" compilation CD of all her favorites, a couple of female empowerment songs, and it'll be the soundtrack to her evening drive. I have about 8 of those, not necessarily for the same reason, but there truly is a song for every mood.
Moody, planning her next mixed CD
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We think alike~!
Hey, I forget his name - wait, Spec!
Very good - you made a good turnaround from the other day. Glad to see it. He is not worth the tears - no man is for that matter. I think I posted in another thread that men are a renewable resource.
There is one out there who will adore you and make you feel special. Every person is special and needs to wait for the right one to see and admire their unique points. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
Hi ya, yes i know when the time is right, i will find my special man, but the time isnt now, i dont think. I never go out, unless it's running errands with my son or going to school, which is all women. The 3 male students are under 24,so no fishing there.All my g/f are married with children, and are not into going out, maybe a nice lunch once in a while but thats it. I'm staying away from the online thing right now, cause it's just to disappionting. most of the men I would be interested in arent interested in a woman with a child who lives with her mom and is dirt poor right now, the others are uninteresting or want to go out and "get drunk" which I dont do..
I worry though that I'll get so used to being on my own that I'll never find someone. like I just won't put the energy into it,, ya know??
My best friends hushand thinks I dont really see x"it" he thinks I havent moved on enough yet, and I "want" to see him.. I don't know about that.But with the damn speeding ticket I got yesterday, I will be staying in the slow lane from now on, and that should cure it!! Alright back to catching up on the board...thanks again gals...