Way to deal with break-up
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| Mon, 11-14-2005 - 5:05pm |
Hi All-
I posted here a while ago. I met this guy online and at first things were going good... It went really fast, I thought we shared a great connection and had a lot in common as far as growing up in the same home town, interests, etc. We talked for a couple of weeks before meeting.. Talking via webcam and phone. We met a month ago for the first time, the chemistry was there and we ended up in bed (not my usual, but I went with what felt right). Then the following week I went to see him. Had a great weekend, it was a really nice getaway and enjoyed each other's company...
But I feel like the interest level has significantly dropped... I haven't seen him the last two weeks... There has been one excuse after the other... He's either too busy, too tired, too many things going on... We are supposed to be dating exclusively but I didn't get an invite to join him this past weekend to his friend's engagement party. Since our last meeting, I started getting these 5 min phone calls at 9:00pm vs. 1 hour conversation or chatting online... I brought this all up to him and talked it all over. He tried to reassure me, telling me he respects me, that he cares a lot about me, that his job has been increasingly hectic these last few weeks (this has always been the case since our first initially conversation, he always complained about his job). I feel like I am being strung along... Like he's giving me "duty" calls. He claims he would rather talk to me for 5 min then not at all, etc... etc... I am too old for games, and I feel like I am being played like a piano. So I'm going to trust my gut feeling here...
The thing is, it has been a really GOOD thing that things slowed down, because all the smoke and lights are gone and I got to think long and hard about what I need vs. what I'm getting. I figure if things have cooled down NOW so early in the relationship it can only go downhill from here... Plus, I don't like the way he talks about women. I have been not liking how he talks about people, and the crude comments he makes... Like when I expressed my feelings and thoughts... He said are you crazy? Do you want me to stuck my foot up your ***? He said this laughing and joking, but I told him I didn't see the joke and that I would not appreciate a kick anywhere!
I'm supposed to go see him this weekend coming up. I don't want to have to be troubled to drive 2 hours out of my way again to see him. I had to twist his arm into coming to see me our very first meeting. He wanted to meet me the first time ever at his place (and bring my 2 year son with me, to which I refused!). I told him then to come see me, which he did.
I want to tell him it's not working out for me and end things, but can I do this over the phone? I really don't want to drive like I said out just to end it... and I don't even want goodbye sex (it wasn't all that to begin with). And I don't want him to have to come up here, spring for a hotel only for me to end things with him...
Any suggestions? Just to re-emphasize, I have only met him twice since our entire exclusive "dating" relationship of 9/22/05 - 11/14/05.
TIA!
PoolDiva

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