Since we are complaining about X's -

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Since we are complaining about X's -
13
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 6:36am

mine, once again, never ceases to amaze me.


1. 69 months behind in CS.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 9:36am
I was wondering what was going on with you guys. You have been more quiet lately. I really feel for you guys with this never ending roller coaster. I am hoping each time you go to court that something will give you some progress in just finding some stability with him.
Its sad that now if if he tells her not to talk to him and to leave him alone because Daddy is in a pissy mood he is doing a better job. I know we dont want him pouring it on her as you said but living with a depressive rage filled parent is not fun when you are a little girl. I was raised by my mom who was depressed at times ( never rage filled) and it has stayed with me. She had a lot to deal with from my Dad leaving and his announcement of being gay - I dont blame her a bit ( really I think she was a bit of a saint) but it as hard for me to feel stable when I was really little because I felt I had to make her feel better before I could relax. I have to wonder whether Ave feels the same way and that is a huge burden for her. Like the doc has always said, Taz needs to be able to separate his feelings about you from his time with her. He still is failing miserably at that IMO. And she suffers then which I am sure just kills you inside.
I am happy to hear you are going to try and have the CS taken out of his checks. I am surprised that wasnt done before since he is so behind. Enough is enough on that one and I completely relate to the idea that if he thinks you are working too much he could chip in for christs sake. What an a$$.
That sounded like a great conversation between you and Avery. I think you did great on it. She will accept your dating after a while but you had to stand up to her on it for her to START accepting the idea. I think that is just a process that she will get through. She may be nervous about having someone new in her life that will be potentially another rage inducer for Taz too. I am sure she feels if you ever did introduce her to someone she would have to keep herself from even mentioning the guy's name to Taz since he is sure to freak out over it.
BIG HUGS for both of you over there...
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 9:41am
Wow - it is amazing at how he can sort of seem to do better and then take such a huge step back. Are you going to meet with the doc again? I am curious what he says to do? I really hope Taz doesn't stop going!! Poor Avery - I think City has some good insight here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 9:46am

Good for you on planning on trying to have CS taken out of his check.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 9:49am

Holy Cats, R!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 9:58am

GAGHHHHHHH the only word that comes to mind when i read about the constant on going abuse of both you and Ave is "f_ker" thats what he is...plain and simple. Can we send him and cp on a trip far far away???? On him making comments about your looks...cp does the SAME thing...let me just say you are gorgeous and you know it...ohhhh hes infuriating. Why cant the state issue a bench warrant for all the back support? I just dont get it. Im sorry for the difficult talk with Ave about dating and it breaks my heart about her fears for another less than kind father, but i have to say that i truly admire and respect your relationship with her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 10:19am
I had the same reaction to that "progress" The thing I worry about for both of them is that they have been conditioned almost to see that as progress ( conditioned sounds derogatory but I dont mean it that way of course) because they have been thrown such chaos for so long that these crumbs seem like a feast to them when really they are still forms of abuse.
I mean, How many of us have had horrible days and sucked it up and had fun with our kids putting on a happy face when we were really close to tears? Taz should be able to do that to if his head was out of his a$$. Even considering a worse scenario where on rare occasion my kid has found me red eyed or teary trying to hold it together I have on occasion just sat him down and said I was having a really sad day and a brief G rated version of why along with a big hug and that I know JUST the person who can cheer me up. In having children we are blessed with the most natural light filled beings on the planet and they are all we would ever need to be reminded of the big picture and cheer up - I really believe this. It is a shame that the courts do not see the inability to do this as a huge red flag for abuse if not abuse in and of itself because in my opinion it is just that!!!
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 10:59am

I couldn't agree more, City.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 1:21pm

OMG now I DO feel guilty posting my whine.

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-1998
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 8:11pm

Jeez Taz just is one amazing person! He really is totally delusional isn't he. I always think it's good when he shows doc how crazy he is though. At least you have lots of eye witness accounts of his behaviour.

I was thinking that nasty poster had scared you off :o)

 



Tracy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 07-13-2008 - 5:38pm
Scared ME off? ha! lol

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