we had the TALK

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
we had the TALK
37
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 8:22pm

Hello,


TG took me out to dinner tonight on my work break... and he flat out asked me if i was dating other guys, too. Phew.. at least i could honestly say "NO".... but i ratted on myself... my overthinking brain feels stupid as **it...


Well, i told him my theory about dating more than one guy at a time.. and said, I haven't since being with you.. but in the past i've dated 2 - 5 guys at a time... yes, i actually said "2 - 5".... he looked shocked.... first he said he couldn't afford to date 2 - 5 women..... then he was quiet... and i finally realized the horrible picture of myself that i just painted.. and I said, "oh but i wasn't sleeping with them all. OMG I'm sorry i made you think that." He said, "you read my mind.. that's exactly what i was thinking"


I still feel stupid that it came across the way it did... I had to back pedal BIG TIME.. and i told him about the book i read 1 1/2 years ago before i started dating again after my divorce... how the book said women should date more than one guy while they are getting to know each of them.... He thought that was bull because he can tell things about a person in the first five minutes... But i said, well as a guy you can call the woman you are interested in.. but as a female, we have to wait so we don't look like we are chasing the guy... so i said, in the past, while i waited, i went out with someone else.. casually.. like just a dinner or something... NOT sex...


I feel like i should have just said, i've slept with over 100 guys (which is NO WHERE the truth but that's how stupid i feel). I think way too hard....


He said guys think the same way as women and wonder if she will call... and I said, "no they don't" I said i thought, if they're interested... they call... simple for a guy..." He said, no, that he was wondering why i didn't call or text him... And I had to confess, that he kinda scared me when he called so much... i was worried that he was a stalker.... He said, you must have had some bad experiences.... he also joked and said, okay then, i'll stop calling you... I said, no keep calling me... I said, the first week it freaked me out, but then i started liking it.... He said, he called because he really liked me... and I said, well, i was hoping that was the reason, but i didn't know. He laughed... and so did i, but I hope i didn't ruin what he thinks of me.. He said it was a great conversation and that he feels he knows me better....


So i hope it was a good talk... gosh it's weird... i have a

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 8:25pm

Sorry I can't resist:


LOONY HAS A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 8:27pm

Sounds like you guys are on the same page & both very happy about it! YEY Loony!


........ "Loony has a boyfriend ... Loony has a boyfriend ...." lol


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 8:33pm

Loony!!


I am

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 8:36pm

You two are too funny....


How do i feel.... still scared and great at the same time... but thanks for the laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 8:40pm

Dang .. I'm all about being honest, upfront, and direct. Fears, insecurities, past baggage, all out on the table. I'm for it. The sooner the better. That shows growth, maturity, confidence, courage, and desire to have an authentic, REAL relationship. Trust = Intimacy, Intimacy = Trust.

Mark





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 8:46pm

You're welcome :)


Maybe now you'll relax and really start to enjoy it- cause now you KNOW that it's you and him together and no second guessing his feelings.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 8:52pm

Yay.. that is wonderful. I like TG.. reminds me of my Biker. Biker was also same way with me- had no real doubts and didnt want to date anyone else.


I think you did very good. It is good to have these kinds of talk and sounds like he is INTO you. I think this is really the key to having a good love life.. Not having to chase the guy one bit.


Did you say TG cooks for you sometimes?


Today Biker is making banana bread for me (still in the oven)...I am waiting right outside the oven...lol


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 8:59pm
"Right outside the oven" ! lol

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Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 9:27pm

yah but.. he just sent me a text saying "i have another girlfriend. 3 more and i'll catch up to you... lol" but i replied "that is not funny :-("


I really should have been a smartie and said... don't you mean 4 more....


i don't think his joke was funny but he did just call me his girlfriend....


but seriously, his joke wasn't funny... you don't think he meant it do you... i think it was a

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 9:29pm
He sounds very nice from all you have written so far - so hopefully now you two can just take time to get to know each other and see how things work out? Keep us posted!

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