Weak resolve....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Weak resolve....
7
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 9:38am

Hi All,

I heard from "Late Night Caller" again. Why can't I resist this man.. He's soooo hot. I just want one more night.... is that sooo wrong. Alright, the truth is I called him over the weekend. I got that fling out of my system, if ya know what I mean... I really didn't expect to hear from him again. But he called last night (booty call most likely). I was asleep so I didn't answer the phone. The thing is I'm going out this weekend (karaoke) and I'm thinking of calling him back. Or texting him to say we should get together again.

Should I just enjoy the fling (it's been soooo long) or should I move on and try to meet someone new? Why does it feel good that he called me back... I guess because if I didn't hear from him then it would feel like rejection. On the one hand, my mind says this guy can't be good for me, but on the other.... he's sooooo hot. I have such weak resolve when it comes to the young hotties. He's 26.

Keeping it real,
Loonybunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 11:01am
My opinion, after too many flings for me, is to move on and look for someone nice. Consider what you have had "pleasant interest" - I think the more you see him the more you will want him and want what he cannot give. Why not wait for someone hot who is into you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 11:34am

"Why does it feel good that he called me back... "


Because he's showing interest in you, and that validates yourself that you're a sexy, hot and sought after woman!!!


But the interest he's showing isnt' the right kind.


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 11:43am

Well, LoonyB- you know everything there is to know about this, since you've posted all the warnings yourself- the fact that he is just "fling material" and is calling late at night because it's just for booty calls. So if that's what you want for now, and can have that without emotional attachment- you can do what you want- and go for it! You already know what the pitfalls (both emotional and physical) might be and hopefully you know to protect yourself from both.

It really is up to you what you want to do, since you're well aware of the pros and cons of it. I'm not sure if you'll hear anything from the board that wasn't already addressed the first time he was calling.

For me personally? I wouldn't put up with any man wanting nothing but a fling anymore. BTDT in my younger years, and even though I would always tell myself I was okay with "just a fling"... I would also always end up wanting more, or was left feeling used and not loved, even when I didn't WANT anything else from that particular man. So I've just learned from experience to not go THERE anymore, even though the momentary sexual fun can be VERY fun! It's only momentary. And like I said- if the momentary fling fun is what you want and you can separate the heart from it... then go have fun! Just be safe, because you REALLY don't know where this guy has been (not even recently).

~shrimpy, feeling more like the 'old fogie' but loving it anyway

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 1:23pm

I haven't read ahead, but I'm going to say that if you KNOW you only want a fling, and it doesn't bother you that that's all he wants, by all means, go for it!

Just remember not to put any extra feelings into it, and have absolutely no expectations.

There's nothing wrong with a booty call as long as you're being honest with yourself- but remember that it'll be harder to find a relationship (if you're looking for one) while engaged in a FWB situation, simply because you'll be giving off "taken" vibes unintentionally, be more sexually content, which puts the predator in you back to sleep, and because you simply won't have as much time as you would normally.

Moody, looking for more now but remembering the fun


Powered by CGISpy.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 2:30pm

I know I'm being such a hypocrit, aren't I? I haven't decided if I'll call him. Now, if he calls me, then... hmmmm... My eyes are open and I'm a big girl, not as emotionally naive as I used to be. I suppose I'm not expecting anything. (i take that back... I'm expecting to win more money on lottery tickets...lol). But I still think it's cool that he didn't write me off after one night. I do enjoy being sought after but nah, I don't think I'm looking for him to validate me.

LB

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 02-23-2007 - 11:35am

OK, I'm going to go with the general thought that if you want....take it! I myself have never had a problem differentiating between sex and love. I actually have a little boy toy slightly younger than myself and it's great! But I also have, as my friend coined it, the ability to have "relationships/sex like a man"...I'm going to take this as a compliment because I don't have a problem with the "just sex" relationship.

Now if you're going to expect him to call regularily and keep sex dates then you're in for a lot of disappointment. If you can keep your cool and take it as it comes (no pun intended) then I feel it's pretty beneficial. Frankly knowing that I'm sought after makes me even more of a predator...come on, you gotta make sure you have a couple on the hook!

Crap...now I really look like a slut!

~ drgnflygrl, hoping to have a boy toy moment this weekend

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Fri, 02-23-2007 - 4:51pm

Hmm... I thought the "taken" vibe attracts men and the predator vibes turn them away... Maybe the FWB could work to my advantage ....

But I agree that I may not be "looking" if I feel like I have someone in my back pocket... Again, though, that could work toward my advantage.. ya know the ole saying... you find a good guy when you AREN'T looking or when you're NOT trying too hard.

And yes, I'm certainly "old" enough to know not to expect anything... However, i'm human and a woman and there is a small chance that I could feel attached even though my head tells me that I shouldn't... so that is a risk. I remember once I was making out with a really hot guy and knew myself enough to know that I would be heartbroken if I had sex with him and he blew me off. So I put on the breaks. I felt good about myself... I scored a hot guy but put on the brakes before it went further than I was comfortable. That was a good night.

It feels different with this guy... I don't feel attached, I feel kinda crazy/spontaneous. I feel like I deserve a fling every now and then and it certainly has been a long time... So we'll see...

But here are my weekend plans (that may keep me froming contacting potential FWB). My coworkers are throwing another party. It's a birthday/going-away party... So, I'll still start off at karaoke and then head over to the party around 10:30 pm. I have a full evening planned and that should keep me from making foolish decisions.

Thanks for all the support and opinions everyone.

LB