Wednesday - What are your questions?
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Wednesday - What are your questions?
| Tue, 03-20-2007 - 9:29pm |
I thought this would be a fun topic - for those in the online dating world or just meeting and dating someone - or those with an SO who did have to ask questions.
What questions do you ask your date? Are they fun to inspire conversation? Or important to make sure you are compatible? Or just to learn more about him.
What are you favorite questions? What questions do the guys ask you?

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Do you have kids? How old, how often do you see them, do you want more? What do you do with three days off? What kind of relationship are you looking for?
These are the major questions I ask. I'm usually asked the same, plus what I do for a living, how do I make time for a man, and just general get-to-know you type stuff. Since at the current time I'm in the process of getting to know several men at any given time, it can be confusing. I've seriously thought about starting a spreadsheet with their basic bios on it- how old, where they live, parenting status, what they do.... this would keep me from mixing them up, but it seems a little sterile.
Ah, well. So many men, so little time....
Moody, keeping all her balls up in the air
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I think the most common question I get asked is "What do you do?". And that's one of the first things I ask a guy, too.
Another one I ask is "Where are you from?"/"How long have you lived here?" for two reasons... 1) because i live in a military town and people come from all over... 2) because i have that list/goal of kissing a guy from every state...lol.
I think after that it depends on the person... but I tend to talk about TV and movies... to see if we like the same things. "Do you watch the news?" I ask that question because I work in tv news and I watch news all day long.
Sometimes I get asked "What do you like to do for fun?"
I personally stay away from interview type questions... because that's not fun. I think if I'm having a good time with someone... I'll pick up on whether or not we are compatible without asking "do you have a criminal history" or "what's your credit score"... even though those are the top things I'd want to know about someone if I were going to get involved with them long term. A couple times I've ask someone "can you name any of the probation officers or judges at the courthouse." And if he says "I've never been to the courthouse" than that's a really good sign....lol. Or I might bring up the subject of credit to see he thinks it's important... but only if the conversation flowed in that direction...know what i mean.
I always get asked about the big gap in my kids ages, how I wound up having my daughter when I did, do all three have the same dad.
I think the most important things to me are:
1) what does he like to do for fun? Because I like to have fun - and be active. Not that he has to do the same things - but things I like and want to learn. Not sitting - that is for sure!! I like hiking, camping, running, riding my bike, swimming, diving, kayaking, traveling to outdoorsy places, stuff like that. Not really into playing golf, riding motorcycles, going out late to clubs or fishing.
2) how was his childhood? Because as long as it is relatively happy and stable, I know things will be good. I usually ask how many brothers and sisters he has - that gets that conversation flowing!!
I usually listen to why he broke up with his ex and to his life stories - like to hear stuff that is positive - glass half full as opposed to half empty. Want someone positive.
The important thing though, as Queenbun points out, is why does he like ME? I want someone who sees and appreciates my good points.
I think that Moody makes a great point too to discuss what you are both looking for in the way of a relationship. Because this time around I am seeking someone who wants to be settled and see if we can fall in love and have something lasting. Don't want to be a flavor of the week.`
I thought I would jump in seeings as I having been having this get to know you conversation with a guy I met on Match. We haven't had any trouble finding things to talk about whether online, text, or by phone. Here is where I went wrong. He was asking me a lot of questions about my family, and I was happy to tell him, but then I asked if he had any siblings. He told me he had a sister who died several years ago. In my stupidity all I could say was "that's too bad". I sounded like an idiot. Of course now I can come up with a million better things to say, but it doesn't matter. The upside is he is still, texting and talking to me so I guess it wasn't a huge mistake.
Jennifer
I actually played 20 questions with a guy I met on myspace.. I asked all the ?'s like...Do you love your mother? Are you a good son? Have you ever been to jail? If yes, what for and when? what is your relationship like with your kids mom? Do you feel you have alcoholic traits? Do you generally trust women? Do you fight fair??
Maybe I scared him off, I havent talked to him lately! Hahaha
Yes - absolutely - a good sense of humor is a great thing to have in life. I have one and would love to find the same with this.
I think it helps so much to turn off all of the "I want to impress you" tendencies we have and to just observe the other person - is he kind, funny, into us? I think by doing nothing you can see this better. It took me a LONG time to figure that one out!! LOL!!
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