Wednesday Woes........

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Registered: 04-08-2003
Wednesday Woes........
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Wed, 07-18-2007 - 9:06am
Ok, so I noticed we have a few vents going on this week. Remember Wednesday Woes? Who would like to start? Can be related to anything pertaining to our life - work, X's, kids, school, neighbors. You name it, we want to hear it! :) Happy Woeing!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 9:33am

None of mine are really all that big, but it's still stuff that drags down the week at times.

I was trying to clean off part of my desk last night and found the stack of sympathy cards from Mom's passing. And an envelope containing all the flower arrangements and plants delivered to her funeral. And the memorial book that the funeral home provides- with the guestbook pages in it. And poems on each page- poems that will simply make you cry, even when you haven't lost anyone dear. So I was going through it and crying. I miss my Mom. I miss watching her enjoy the kids as Grandma. I am heartbroken at knowing that my Dad lost his partner and companion of 50 yrs in a quick few months' time.

I have a quilt that she and I started last year- that we were going to work on together. Now it's still unfinished and I still can't get myself to go work on it. I want to, and I wish we'd been able to get it done in time, but we didn't. Because we let "life" get in the way... and now her life is over and she was the one who knew what we were doing. So for me to finish it, I will have to read up on how it's all done- as she was doing that project with me so she could teach me what she knows. It's sad just how much knowledge and skill and vibrant history left with her. If you have a life story to tell, tell it. Write it down. Don't let the stories go with you. I have some stories from Mom, but I know she has SO much more that we never got. Maybe that's why I blog... because one day that might be my story.

I'm concerned about my oldest brother. He seems to be in a bit of an angry depression (for lack of a better description) lately and I'm not sure what I can do about it. Not that I think I could "save" him- but I know I can't just sit back and watch him do less each day and sleep more and more. His sleep schedule is wacky anyway- but lately he doesn't wake up til nearly 3pm and then the whole day is practically gone. And the geocaching fun that Dad & I will go do in the mornings (before it gets too hot)- he misses out on. And then he is left feeling left out- but if he'd just WAKE up like normal people, at normal people hours... he could join us. And he KNOWS this- because we've talked about it for years. But yet he still won't get up in the morning, and prefers to stay up all night (not even OUT, socializing- but just up and at home alone).

There isn't much talking to him. Everything has been said already- and he is royally stubborn. He will do things in his own time, at his own pace- and it's totally aggravating that he will procrastinate until the last possible moment. But with this funk he's in... putting it off won't make it any easier to get back out. It will only make it worse... but he doesn't "hear" anything I've already said to him. Or he hears, but he doesn't act on it. Even though he says he KNOWS it. It's hard to sit and watch it happen, and trying to keep it from spiraling down too quickly, all while knowing I can't be the one to pull him out. I can only (maybe) help to slow it down.

I miss my kids. But at the same time, I don't miss them and I'm enjoying the Mommy-break. Then I feel guilty that I am not missing them enough! I do talk to them on occasion (not every day) and they are doing fine. They are having fun and neither one is hurting to come back home anytime soon. I hope they have a blast while they have a chance to- because we don't know what the ex's health will be like next summer, and if he will be able to entertain them like this again. But thankfully- for now he is doing okay, and the kids are having fun. Hopefully making great memories.

The mosquitoes and chiggers are HORRID this year, and I've been bitten all over, and itching like MAD.

Oy- this has gotten to be quite a downer, hasn't it?!??

Really though- things are not all that bad. Just these little clouds that float in now and then... but most of the time, things are great. Things with Hiker and I are great, the pets are cute and sweet and fun and great, the Mommy-break is much needed and great, my friends are great, having fun with geocaching stuff with Dad is great, and being off for the summer is great. Except the litter box needs some serious cleaning. Ewww! :-P

~shrimpy

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

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Registered: 03-25-2002
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 10:17am

I wanna kick myself for being shy.... So, I've been dying for some karaoke ... Actually, I've been wanting to see a certian person again and he said he goes on Sat and Mon... but monday the girls wouldn't go to sleep so I couldn't ask my brother to watch them (well I could have but I was gonna say.. hey the girls are asleep, you don't mind if I go out for a bit.... that didn't happen on Monday).

Anyway, last night I got a chance to go out... but was disappointed not to run into anyone i knew. I should mention Bartender was friendly and I want kick myself for being shy around him again. (but he's not the guy i wanted to see, i'll rant about that later). I didn't see Bartender when i first arrived so I didn't get my drink from him... BUT he came up to me, smiling a lot and said "hi how are you doing" as if I was a friend. I was like "hey how are you...." kinda thing but not conversational. Know what i mean... ugh i could just kick myself.

The guy I want to see again, his name is Sam. I met him a few months ago... but was kinda focused on someone else so even though Sam asked for my number i didn't give it to him. but he is cute so i regreted not giving him my number or getting his. Well, I saw him a couple weeks ago on a Thursday night just as I was leaving.... he invited me to play pool...but I was leaving. I talked with him briefly and left. And I've been wanting to see him again since... I think I'm gonna try to get out on Saturday since that's when he says he plays pool....we'll see.

Back to the Bartender who i can't take my eyes off of.... the waitress who spread all those rumors no longer works there and now maybe she just said those things because she was attracted to him... who knows. What I need to do is stop acting so shy around him and become his friend. Yes, i've been saying this for about 3 weeks. And that's why I could kick myself.

so that's my woe....

Avatar for myprecioustwo
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 12:22pm

My woe is not having enough money. LOL.
I paid off most of the bills that I needed to pay, but it still leaves open the fact that school is coming up, new supplies, clothes, shoes and they need new furniture and both Alex and Nina have Birthdays Sept/October and then Nina has soccer. Oh and the most important: Both girls need dentists. Alex needs an orthodonist for braces and Nina needs to get some teeth filled. Plus both need ADD medication. ARGH! I just don't know how to pay for all of those things right now.

Alex should be going to her Grandmothers for a shopping spree, but now she says No, she doesn't even want to be near her grandmother in fear of having to see her Dad, which she doesn't want to do. So that might mean no shopping spree. I don't want to force her, but I could really use her to get a new Fall line of clothes. Nina has a uniform and needs new warm things, they both need dresser drawers and new bedding. And then of course BIRTHDAYS.

I had to quit school because I dont' have money for books right now. Even the used books are outrageous. I have other things I HAVE to pay for and things are more important then my education right now (see above).

I NEED a new wardrobe. I don't have enough clothes, but unfortunately, I have to wait now for the girls to be clothed first and all else.

I still don't have a 401 K plan and I'm concerned that I may have to pay taxes next year. I really need to get a 401K plan set up for myself next month so that I can use that as assistance for a downpayment on a house next summer. I just don't know where to cut the corners. I just got a cell phone; which I hate, but needed for the girls and myself. I have a house phone that I just don't need, but have for the girls in case of an emergency. I FINALLY decided to give the children a perk for being so wonderful and signed up for cable tv with all of their favorite channels (it was a great special deal, no contract, digital and 200 channels for 50 a month). I think I can save on the monthly movies that we dish out if we can watch disney and discovery, etc.

I wish I had my own room. I don't really NEED my own room, but I wish I could have the guts to put both girls in one room without feeling guilty towards Alex, my oldest. She deserves her own room for age 14, but sometimes I just wish I had my own place to go to.
I don't want Nina to always sleep with me, now that she's getting older. I want her to learn to sleep in her own bed. It's been a year since she's been with me and I think it's time to just put them together, but I'm afraid of the reaction. Especially since Nina needs to be in bed earlier then Alex and Alex often stays up later with homework. I gues I can really hold out another year, right? :(

I just wish I wasn't always doing this all on my own. It just seems to be a never ending process of TOUGH. I wish I had childsupport, but I should be thankful I have a good job and it's not worse.

Mr. History is going house hunting today which again bums me out because here is another person moving ahead of me and not just waiting things out a little. I can't expect it, but I won't be moving anywhere for 4 years after I get my own place (I want Alex to attend the same High School), so I guess I am going to just have to shave my head, become a monk and forget about a life with someone else.
You know what is an awful thought? I wish I could be a heartless creature sometimes. And be with someone like my friend Jesus Sandals, who I know moves Heaven and Earth for me and won't get a house (he rents) until I finally give in to be with him. Lately I have been getting so frustrated with the thought that I just want SOMEONE for ONCE to be on the same page with me. On the same note, Mr. History said something odd. He said he will be looking for a 3 bedroom and when he thinks he found something nice, he wants to show me. I thought that was a little odd, but I guess, if things ever did work out between us, he would make sure he had the room for it. But that isnt' the point for me. The point is for me to have a say so and pick out the perfect house that would suit ME to. But like I said, maybe it's just not meant to happen, because I just keep running into one obstacle after another.

OK, now the good stuff:
Work is going very well and I am content with it. I have lots going on and it's keeping me busy. I will be traveling for business next week and I am excited because that is a huge step. I will be overseeing an office for a few days. Looks great on my review. I have been working VERY hard trying to maintain a great review so that I can have my bonus at the end of the year with a nice raise. :)
Mr. History and I are doing very well (I have leaving him all snug in my sheets in the morning, while I go off to work). Last night he said he plans on being with me every night so he can hold me, because soon we won't have that luxury, so he wants to take it while he can. We are just moving along and enjoying one another. Tonight my friends cancelled the venue but rescheduled for Thursday. However, Thursday Mr. History and I are going to a baseball game, so I rather do that. On Friday Mr. History's friends band is playing at a restaurant and right across the street my friends will be eating and drinking. We are going to eat at Mr. History's friends restaurant so that we can watch him sing and then we are going to do some night life dancing later with my friends. I love the fact that he loves to dance. He's the only guy I know that WILL go out on the dance floor with me and just shake it. LOL
I am also enjoying the new friends I have made this summer and I am starting to make a list of things I really want to do for the apartment. Little changes, but some changes to make it more comfy and less cluttered. Hence the dresser drawers that I need.

So that is my woes lately. I am grateful for my health, my children, my job, my friends and the opportunity to be loved by so many. So in reality, my life is really good.




Edited 7/18/2007 12:50 pm ET by myprecioustwo
Avatar for myprecioustwo
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 12:26pm
Oh my gosh darling, just reading your post choked me up severly. I'm so sorry. I am very close to my Mom and cannot begin to imagine what it will be like one day without her. I am glad to hear that you and your dad are doing things. I'm sorry your brother seems to still be mourning. I guess it maybe his only way to release, even though it definitely doesn't sound like a healthy way. I know what you mean about feeling guilty for not feeling guilty enough that the children are gone. I'm going through the same thing, but I am just enjoying it sooo much. I was just telling my friend that I can't do anything seriously social 24/7 right now, because I so enjoy my quiet and freedom. I am NOW starting to really wind down. I'm so grateful that i have this opportunity.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 12:44pm

My first woe is that after 8 months of job hunting, still nothing. I've been working as a part time consultant at my old job and I just found out yesterday, that I only have 2 weeks left. So unless I get a job in 2 weeks,I will begin collecting unemployment insurance. I've never been unemployed in my life and am having a hard time with it.
My part time modeling gigs dry up quite a bit in the summer as well. It usually picks up in the fall.

So far this summer really bites, no vacation, no nothing to look forward to. This is the first year my dd has spent at home because I couldn't afford her camp. I don't have a car, and there's absolutely nothing good out here unless you drive hours away for it, moot point anyway as I can't afford to spend money right now, and everything in NY cost an arm and a leg anyway.

My pof inbox has been empty for the last 3 weeks, I think I have a better shot of getting a job than getting a date anyway. In April, I made my 3 year anniversary of being dateless. In September ,I make my one year anniversary of not getting laid, that sucks I rather have the latter at this point.

I'm battling serious depression right now, and I can't afford therapy for it. Oh and for the icing on the cake my dd just chipped a tooth yesterday that I spent $500.00 to fix in
02/06.Plus she needs braces, Thank God, I have paid COBRA for a year, but they don't pick up everything, so I'll still have to dish out $$.

I'm going out to lunch now, to find comfort in the biggest Turkey Burger plus fries I can find. Sigh..............

The T Girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 1:05pm

Well I think I have both of what Shrimpy and Cat have woes with.

Cat, I know what you mean about not having any money! My fall semester is coming up and I'm afraid I am going to have to do a student loan. I hate those things but if I want to finish is freakin degree before I turn 40, I need to get it. I am still a little bitter about my ex's new wife not having to work but I'm just glad I'm not the one under his thumb about spending money. :)

I get all of my bills paid every month but I still come up short some how. My grandmother and mom help me which I am VERY thankful for but I keep asking myself how I am going to pay for Christmas and taxes at the end of the year. I have land other than what my house is on plus my car. I know I'll figure out something. I try to figure out what I can do without each month but I really don't know. I don't have any extra needless things.

Also, I have been thinking about my dad here lately. I don't know why but he has been on my mind.

My job sucks. I work in an environment that if you don't go to the most expensive places to eat, shop, etc. or drive a fancy car or have a big house, then they think you are a charity case. Bugs my butt to no end. My job is unfulfilling and I am actively looking for another. My brain is turning into mush! :)

I'm raking up medical bills from my hips and back. I'm going to UVA Aug 6 to see if they won't do an MRI. My hips have been hurting for 2 years but noone seems to know what the heck is going on with them. I just want relief and want to be able to move more like a 31 year old and not a 90 year old when I get off of the sofa! :)

Now for the good side: my son got accepted into Odyssey which is an advanced class for children starting in 2nd grade on up-very proud of him, my son is healthy, I have a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, and food on the table even though my son tells me that I don't cook as well as his stepmom. lol Sorry I can't afford all of the food they eat!

Okay, where's the chocolate?

Jennifer

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Registered: 07-14-2007
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 2:20pm

Jennifer - you mentioned UVA.

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Registered: 09-01-2006
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 2:22pm

Well let's see...

Feeling a little bummed out these days but can't quite put my finger on the reason why. Maybe because I feel like I just never have enough time to accomplish all of the things that need to be done. This feeling goes straight to my hips and I have been emotionally eating which then makes me feel even more awful!

I have an extremely unfufilling job right now ....so much so that I am volunteering my professional skills at four different charities just trying to fill that void in my life. That again contributes to the feeling of not having enough time.....

My 5 yr old daughter has been acting out quite a bit - some of it I am certain is just age related and some of it is definitely her adjusting to our changed family status. I have decided to go to counselling to try and get some professional guidance on how to help her through this transition without making it worse. My three year old daughter seems fairly unfazed but her tantrums have been reaching new highs on the richter scale. I need to find some effective discipline methods for both of them. hoping the counslling will help me cope too!

Former H is very depressed about our split and i have a feeling my daughters time with thier father is not exactly "happy happy joy joy". He has been a complete jerk about money and he keeps trying to pressure me into giving him another chance - that will not happen.

I am missing the fact that I do not have any family (at all anywhere) and every now and then I start to feel sorry for myself.

On the flip side....as much as my job is unfulfilling, it is not a dead end and I will transition into a new job one day soon.....

I have been dating Kazoo now for a solid three months and he has been a wonderful addition to my life. We have trucks loads of hurdles to get over but he is my biggest cheerleader, and I can see us potentially having a wonderful future together as crazy as I feel for even thinking that way! Of course our world's have yet to collide - I won't introduce him to my children until October or November at the earliest. So who knows....

I have the best friends a person could ever hope to have and I feel so blessed.

I am financially stable which is a big plus and one less thing for me to worry about. I am not wealthy by any stretch but I am comfortable.

The girls and I have a fabulous bond and there is a lot of love in our house despite the struggles we are having adjusting to our new family unit.

Over all, I feel very fortunate and am just having a "down" couple of days. I will swing out of this funk soon I am certain....

Rose

Rosecolouredspecs
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 3:54pm

You are going for the PMP? Way kewl. I have been doing project management for gosh.. almost 20 yrs (on and off). When I was looking for a job I took a PMP prep class but found it inadequate to really have the confidence in taking the exam. I put that off for a while now that I'm in this great job that does not put a lot of value on a PMP. However after I get through my probationary period I want to have the company pay for a prep class and the test so I can have my PMP. Even though I am in a project management office, no one here has their PMP.

Mark

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Registered: 07-14-2007
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 3:57pm
Thank you!

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