Wednesday Woes?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wednesday Woes?
19
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 12:54pm

Anyone have something they want to share?
We're here to offer you virutal hugs and support, so if you've got something you want to get off your chest, let it rip!

Hugs
Tara

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 2:52pm

Yeah, I've got one.

You all know Shane and I are buying a house. We are scheduled to close in two weeks. Well, things are worryng me now.

Shane called a personal friend of his in the mortgage business to get us set up and was VERY open with this guy that we had no savings, there fore, other than a few hundred dollars, we had no money for a down payment. Shane's friend said that was no problem and we would still be able to get in a house. With Shane's credit not being great and with my not working, we couldn't use my credit score which is a great deal higher. So we are having to pay a higher interest rate. No big surprise. I expected it. Shane's friend handed the case over to an associate of his to handle and I gathered all the info he needed and got it to him. Last time I spoke to him, he said there was NOTHING else he needed and we were set to close on schedule. Great, right?

Well, Monday night, he called Shane and told him we needed $4000.00. $4000.00???? We don't have that. Not even close. He never communicated to us ever that we would need that. So Shane is on the phone calling his friend to ask what changed and DO we need it. Hopefully the guy just messed up on paperwork and looked at something wrong or was looking at the wrong case when he called us. Shane is confident that was DON'T need it, but if it turns out we do, he's sure we will have the money. He said he can get it. Not sure how, but I have to trust him. He's asked me to. He always says it will be okay and it always is when he says so. I'm so upset, though. I don't want to lose the house. Shane says it's our house and no one will take it from us now. He's so sure that he can do it and doesn't want me to worry.

He's so sweet. But I'm still scared.

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 5:15pm

I'm in shock!! I just got off the phone with my agent and he said that the $4000 is for the lender's commission. That's outrageous! My agent said that the lender is charging us more commission than they are entitled to. According to my agent, the standard commission is 1% of the total loan. Period. Nothing more. Sometimes, in certain circumstances, they might charge an additional half point to whole point on top for hassle. Like if they have a particularly nasty client that gave them a hard time or a client with issues that cause the lender to have to put in lots of extra hours. Fair? No. But they can do it. But we're talking an extra several points. And we never gave them issues. The credit thing is a normal occurance. They deal with this every day. We're not special here.

My agent says he already figured in their 1% commission into the closing so we would know for sure if we needed to bring anything to the table. Without paying earnest money to the seller's we would have had to pay a little over $300 at closing to cover the remaining commission we owed the lender. But since we paid earnest money, we wouldn't be needing anything because we paid above the remaining amount and will get our earnest money back minus the commission. We shouldn't have to pay them anything additional on top of what we've paid.

Our agent is on the phone with Shane now telling him what he found out. Shane was shocked when I told him what the standard % is. He had no idea. The broker at our agency said the lender is trying to rape us financially and we need to consider using a different lender, which we still have time to do. It won't affect our closing date. Especially since we have all our info in print and all they have to do is receive a fax and put it on their own paperwork. It takes hardly any time to process.

I'm so upset about this crap. This person was supposed to be a personal friend of Shane's that he knew a long time. He was trusted to handle things for us and knew we had no savings. He said we were okay and would need nothing. Now he's gone back on that. That's not right. He led us to believe we could do this and it was a lie. We do intend to get the house. It's our house. And we are going to get to the bottom of the reason they plan to charge us so much. Our agent spoke to the lender himself and it was told to him that it was their commission. So it was not assumed by our agent. It's the truth. What a bunch of jerks! Sometimes I wish I could reach through the phone and slap! Don't you?

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 5:15pm

I totally have the birthday blues. I turned 39 on Monday. Big, fat, hairy deal. Another year, another year alone. I'm totally going through a seven year itch, except I'm not in a rut with a seven-year marriage, I'm in a rut with being single for seven years. SEVEN YEARS. Seven years of BS and frogs. I'm so sick of it I could scream. I just don't get it. I'm such a nice person. I gave everyone I ever was with 110 percent, kids or not. And what did I end up with? Squat. It really gets depressing. Last May, I was dating Mark. I totally spoiled him on his birthday; presents, dinner, the whole nine yards. And what did I get Monday? The big goose egg. It really bothers me because I feel so cheated. Like all I ever do is give, give, give, and I end up with nothing. I just can't believe that finding the right person can be this damn hard. I'm at a time in my life where I am actually happy with myself and my family and I don't NEED anyone, but I WANT someone. I think I'm a pretty cool person with a lot to offer someone and a lot to share with someone. That's it exactly. I want someone to share my great life with. I get really disheartened when all the mean, nasty people in this world (like my exh and my little sister) get everything they want. And then there's me, just another year older.

Ok, that's enoughing bitching for one day. I do feel better, though.

Donna

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 11:49pm

Is Shane's friend a mortgage broker? I took a First time homebuyer's class through my credit union last year when I was looking and they taught us the difference between a mortgage broker and a mortgage banker is the fees. Basically, a broker has to make his commission on top of any points the bank or financial institution that is writing the loan makes. And unfortunately, many times first time buyers with less than favorable credit will end up facing "hidden" or unexpected fees at the last minute when they've already emotionally invested themselves in the purchase. The idea is that you supposedly have less options because you are a bigger risk.

In the class they told us the only way to really protect yourself from fees like this is to request everything in writing (good faith estimate) up front and tell the agent that you are prepared to walk away from the deal if there are additional fees not agreed upon. Ofcourse, this means you have to be willing to walk away at a time when you have already put in all the blood, sweat and tears into getting the house you want.

I would be leary of any other lenders doing the same thing...make sure you disclose up front that you have already walked away from one and you are prepared to walk away again if you are faced with more surprises. Are you having to pay mortgage insurance and all that too? If so, then you are not as big a risk as they may be making you out to be, because you are paying for insurance that protects the lender if you default on your loan.

So sorry to hear this is happening. It really sucks that this was Shane's friend that did this to you...hopefully Shane will be able to straighten out and reduce the fees. Keeping my fingers crossed for you. Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 11:55pm

Donna, (((Big hugs to you)))

Nasty people in this word may appear to be getting all they want, but things aren't always as they seem. Karma will bite them in the end. Trust that.
Also trust that you are a good person, you have wonderful kids, you have your health, your home, your family (outside of the little sis and company) and well...just keep adding to the list of all the things you do have and hopefully you wont feel so alone. A man isn't always the answer. A GOOD man yes, and believe that he is worth waiting for and he will find you if you keep being the good person that you are.

Have faith, be happy and keep the light on...he won't find you if you're in the dark.

Hugs! and Happy belated birthday!

g

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 9:00am

I would tell the broker the deal is off. Go and visit some local banks. And make sure you get a disclosure statement right at the beginning.

This same thing happened to me when I was refinancing my house last year. The broker went over the interest rate and stuff like that but never came up with a paper copy of the good faith lending disclosure - he was too busy. Well, the week before I was supposed to close he faxed it to me with about the same fee. I reminded him he said no cost no fee to close. And I told him the deal was off. This is after all of the paperwork was faxed to him (and believe me they wanted a mountain of stuff) and after he had prepared all of the documents.

Guess what? He took off the fee!! I had the low interest rate, no points, no fee just like he said. The next time they tell you that, get it in writing.

There are plenty of lenders that will work with you better. Don't just settle for this guy.

After this incident I was even able to refinance AGAIN with Wells Fargo - you might want to check them out or look online for a better deal.

The only thing I had in my favor is that I am already in my house with a mortgage and this was all for refinancing. You are probably worried you will lose the house you really want. But I would talk to the seller and explain you are working on the loan and might need a bit more time but will definitely get it.

Good luck!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 10:04am

Yeah, I'm aware that we should have a GFE, however, I never saw one. But Shane might have it. He's handling it all. I have experience buying homes (I've bought two in the past) but they were VA loans, so I didn't have this hassle.

The fees were reduced. We will need to bring $1300, which we can do without a problem. It will be tight for us for a couple of weeks, but we'll make it. Shane said he's willing to eat Ramen noodles for a year if it means getting this house.

I'm worried mostly now about Christmas. We haven't shopped at all and I thought we'd be doing so well and to be able to give Dylan a good day. Shane says it won't be an issue. But he always thinks that until we have bills pile up and then we have to suffer. I'm so afraid now with this money we have to pay at closing that Dylan won't have Santa this year. He'll have stuff from my folks here, but how can I look that baby in the eye and know I couldn't do anything because of this crap with the house? The stuff we have to pay ends up being a year's insurance. Standard stuff. But it ruins Christmas.

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 11:56am

Christmas isn't about presents, Mel.

I think Dylan would be super excited to know that for Christmas he's getting a new bedroom and maybe Santa can bring him some super cool new posters for his walls . . . if YOU are happy and if YOU put the emphasis on other things - - - I assure you Dylan won't notice there isn't as much under the tree.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 12:17pm

I went over some financial stuff before I began to panic even more. It turns out that we should be fine. We will have it tighter than we hoped for, but we'll make it. I just had a few things in mind I wanted to get D and I have to cut down the list. He's watched TV and pointed out things, but in reality, he hasn't made a huge deal of stuff. He mostly asked us for a puppy, which I'd love to do, but right now, it's too much to deal with. But he'll get one soon enough.

I mostly feel bad because his father has sent us a list of what they bought so there were no repeats and it's huge list of expensive gifts. And they keep adding to it. It's embarassing to me because I'm sure Dylan will tell them what he got here and they will think we cheated D out of Christmas. Hello!!! We're buying a house!!!

Of course, we cna't help but move at this time because the lease is up and there is another person already asking to move in. So timing is not great. But we'll get over it. We always do.

I just don't want D to walk into the living room and not see a lot of the things he wanted. Every child deserves to have Santa. And it breaks my heart that he could be missing out on things he really wants because of this house deal.

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 12:50pm

Good thing you got the house/mortgage squared away.

Don't fret over the Xmas thing now. You can get great deals at Walmart. D wants time with you, not more stuff anyway. The house will be everyone's present.

I am chuckling at Shane's comment on the ramen noodles!! What a happy camper!!

Congrats and best wishes!!

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