Wednesday Woes . . . .

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wednesday Woes . . . .
20
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 1:10pm
The expression when it rains it pours always comes to mind . . . . . .

My friend of 8 years (who is a recovering alcoholic) just discovered on Saturday that her husband of 11 years is having an affair - and she turned to the bottle for solace and comfort immediately. He's someone who I would have confidently said (and believe I have, in the past) "he would never cheat. He is a man of too much character and integrity". It's caused all kinds of self-doubt, and it's very painful to see them both hurt the way they are right now, and it's painful to know their two kids (8 and 5) can feel the tension.

Our good friend's dog and constant (and only) companion, was hit by a car and killed and left on friend's door step in a timespan of 10 minutes - while friend was taking the lawn clippings to the front yard via the open back gate. Friend is a mess, misses his "Mexican Jumping Bean" and was on our doorstep when I got home last night because he couldn't handle going home to an empty house.

My sister's return to work was unsuccessful. She's back on physical disability, and her 4th back surgery (she has degenerative disc disease) has been labeled "unsuccesful" and they are looking at new options.

TT's niece, whom I have never met, has asked to move in with us until she can "get on her feet" because she wants to leave Wisconsin. She wants to move in ASAP. Yesterday, is good for her. Due to my love for TT's sister - I feel very obligated to take her in.

TT had a MAJOR blow up with his boss at work, and found out he was "framed" by someone he considered a friend (who I had warned him about repeatedly). So much so that he told himself "I need to get out of this industry", his opinion of his mentor for the last 8 years has been shattered, and he feels completely betrayed by his friend of 11 years.

Parent/teacher conference with Jojo's teacher tomorrow. Although he is doing well on his assignments and homework, he doesn't know enough words by sight and struggles sounding out words that he should have "mastered" by now - so we need to come up with a plan to get him up to speed.

TT's mom has had her muscle relaxers and pain medications upped - the pain in her legs and hips has become unbearable in the last 3 weeks. The meds are so strong that she is incoherent and staying in bed for longer periods of time and unable to do the very few things in life that she enjoys.

Our very dear friends' 9 year old niece whom we loved and adored and have prayed for continuously died on Monday after a 4 year battle with leukemia.

My truck is acting up. I need to get it into the shop.

My period, for no known reason, is two whole freaking weeks early. And I'm bleeding so hard and so heavy that I'm in pain and fatigued. I'm so tired of this.

So there you have it!!!!

I should feel better now, right? Sigh.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 5:28pm
Sticking to the budget is hard - as is saving every single receipt and actually accounting for all the money you spent IN THE BUDGET!!!!

I'm embarassed to admit this - but I have a thing with Target. An affair. I love the place. For a long, long time, I would make a list and I would go there to get the items on my list, and $125.00 later (the stuff on my list would cost maybe $75.) I would walk out. And I was putting all of my Target spending into my "grocery/household good" stuff. HA! WRONG! It was also clothes, toys, a birthday card, a cd, yada, yada, yada. Which is fine, once in awhile, but when you go to Target once a week and overspend $50.00 every week - that's $200 a month! YOU GOTTA be realistic and account for every single dime!

On finding a financial counselor. I just happened to know someone that was - she was a business associate - someone that used to refer clients to my boss. And she wasn't free. BUT - she DID allow us to make payments. Our friends attended a financial planning with someone through their church. They go to one of those mega-churches, called it and told them they were "this" close to filing bankruptcy, and was there anyone the church would recommend who could help them get their finances in order. There was, and the guy they saw counseled them for nothing, and they invited him and his wife over for dinner as a love offering. I have another friend who went to one of those Consumer Credit Counseling services that you see on t.v. It worked very well for them, and it was free.

Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 5:46pm

I'm embarassed to admit this - but I have a thing with Target... LOL!!!! So does my sister (w/the kids) and I do too, IF I let myself go there. But I try not to very often. Because I personally usually go in with a budget for a "few" things for about 40 bucks and overspend by about the same amount you do. I wonder, do they KNOW they're getting an extra fifty bucks per female with their fancy eye grabbing female-friendly displays? It's WORKING for them. ;)


I think I'll start with Church (or even my counselor there, who I am ashamed to admit I've not seen for a while. I need to get back. He'll think I am hiding. ha ha) and see if they can refer me. A place here that constantly advertises for refinancing and such called Freedom Financial is doing a free seminar in two weekends. I considered going, just to learn something. But it's more about re-structuring debt and such than just plain old budgeting. But if I have no luck at church, I can try them next for suggestions.


Mel, what do you say? You up for it?

Becky

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 6:37pm
I am sorry for you for your troubles - that is certainly a huge load of bad/sad news and burdens. May there be a little sunshine around the corner for you!!
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 7:11pm
This is kind of a tangent...but that's exactly why I bought stock in Target!!! No one I know (myself included!) can stick to their budget when they go there! You go in for $25 worth of bathroom stuff and you always end up spending $100, I swear!!!

Sheri

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 7:33am
Hey Sheri,

has the stock gotten you a positive on the market that you bought from Target? That actually isn't a bad idea at all. I'd love some more info if you have any.

- Catherine

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 11:57am
HEY!!!!! That's a GREAT idea!!!!!!

And now, when I go to Target and spend over my budgeted amount - I'll be investing in MYSELF!!!!!

As new home owners, that's our theory with Home Depot, who we DO own stock in!!!! LOL

And - along the same lines - I had to go to Kmart last night to get Alex's birthday party stuff - as they are the only store that had all of the Elmo's World stuff I needed. Well you know Martha Stewart stuff is on sale, so I got a picture frame, two candles, a candle holder, two sets of towels . . . . I'm TERRIBLE!!!!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 12:48pm
It has gone up some...but not as much as the Starbucks stock I bought at the same time! But since the market hasn't done all that well this year, I'm just happy that both stocks haven't gone *down*!

For the most part, I invest in mutual funds to spread out the risk...but I decided to take the plunge into individual stocks in one of my retirement accounts. It's fun to track them, but nerve-racking too...I keep an eye on them every day and am constantly wondering if I should sell and take the profits...or let it ride.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 1:11pm
Yeah, I'm up for it. I'm working on making a new list of expenses and the dates due so we have a more realistic view of what we NEED to spend and what we ACTUALLY spend. Two totally different things. LOL!

As for Target. I know how that is. I LOVE Target. My baby registy will be there. I've already gone online to register for a few things that I know I'll need. Fortuantely, it's across town and traffic here is awful all day every day, so I avoid South Broadway when I can at all costs. I can go the back way, but other people do that too and it gets backed up just as badly. So Target is not a place I go that often even though I love it. And Wal-Mart is off limits. I hate the place. I never stepped foot in Super Wal-Mart here. Too chaotic! But if I go, I overspend. I rarely shop. Most of our stuff, it seems, goes to bills and food, but I find that saving receipts is almost impossible. If I'm with Shane or alone, I have a receipt IN MY WALLET when I leave where ever I was. Restaurants, etc. If Shane uses his debit card, I ask him for the receipt so I know I have it to write the right total in the checkbook. I'm very particular about it. But if he's alone, no receipts. Or if he has one, he throws it in his truck somewhere, dumps it in the trash at work, whatever. The worst is restaurants or gas stations because the restaurant pre approves an amount that is not exactly what you spent and until it clears the bank, you don't know what to write down. Gas stations don't show up online if you pay at the pump. It waits til the transaction clears and sometimes that takes days. So if he goes to one of them alone, I'm not getting anywhere until it clears. He's always been this way. He never collected receipts and I doubt he going to start now. He teases me about using them, but he says he's glad I'm so good at keeping the book so accurate. If he'd support me more on it by getting receipts more often, I'd love it and our lives would be so much easier.

If I had that, I'd not need a planner. Because I'm great at it on my own. So we'll see how things go.

Mel

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Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 7:20pm

Hey Mindy


Sorry to hear about all these things that you and those you love are going through!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 7:33pm
Thanks, Tara. So much.

Our friend who lost his dog is still just devastated. She was his only companion - and he misses her terribly. He's also sooooo mad - because she JUST got through the puppy stages of nipping and chewing and digging and was FINALLY turning into a lovely little dog. He's not sure what he's going to do.

Our friends that lost their neice are doing well, and said her parents are doing as well as can be expected, given the situation. The last 4 years were so hard for them all - they said there is a definite sense of relief that all of the pain, suffering and fighting was over. Their mother (the little girl's grandma) died very suddenly, without warning two months ago of an annurism. They said they now feel like she died first so that she would be in heaven when their niece arrived.

My niece. Yes. She is definitely moving in. She's 23. An adult. She will be here Sept. 30 through October 5 to interview. She just graduated with a bachelor's in hotel admin. and thinks Vegas is where she wants to be/should be for her career, but can't afford to live on her own with her student loans and car payment and is scared of moving in with a stranger through the paper (a room for rent, or something.) She didn't ask Tim to help her get a job, she applied and set up 6 interviews (4 on Thursday - 2 more today!) and is being flown out here and put up in the hotel that really wants her - so I feel that's very mature, she took alot of initiative and isn't asking for help, and I really respect that. Tim and I talked about it in great detail and made up a contract. We emailed it to her - and she happily agreed to ALL of our terms (including a move out date, no exceptions, of March 05) and is very excited about moving here. I talked to her on the phone last night, and am excited to meet her when she comes at the end of the month for her interviews. Once offered a job, she will fly home, pack up, and drive out with her mom (Tim's sis - that I love and am very close to). She could be here as soon as October 11.

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