Wednesday Woes Anyone?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wednesday Woes Anyone?
10
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 3:59pm
I hope since noone posted a Wednesday Woes thread, we're all having great days! But just in case you have something to vent about or need a hug, here's a place you can post.

Personally, I can't complain about anything except that it's getting cold out and we might get snow this week! Yuck! But life is okay. Bailed on a fundraiser dinner I was supposed to go to tonight because I just didn't want to go. So I'm going to have dinner with my family instead. Much better.

How are all of you doing?

Hugs

Tara

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 4:18pm
Ok, I'll whine a little:

This week is "let's see what else can go wrong with my car" week. Started with burned-out headlight. No big deal, took it in to fix, and they mention that my brakes grind, and one tire has a bubble that might burst any time. I take it in to the tire place where I got them, get one replaced on pro-rated warranty, they put air in the other three and notice that another one has a bubble too! Ok, I replace that one as well. Take it in for an oil change and have them do a brake check - sure enough, they all need to be replaced. So tomorrow I'm taking it into Just Brakes, and hoping that their $99-all-4-wheels deal will take care of it. Sigh. At least none of it is major thousands-of-dollars type of repair, but still a pain.

And if that's not enough aggravation, I still haven't properly broken up with Mr. NotQuiteDivorced. I sent him the Dear John e-mail on Saturday. He called Sat. evening and I missed his call. He sent a brief email late that night that he tried calling and that *I* deserve more than an email from him, and that he'll be in touch. Called him back, missed him. He called Sunday when we were trick-or-treating, I missed his call. Called him back later that night, missed him. Since then, nothing. I decided I'll wait till the end of this week, call one last time and if I don't get him, I'll mail his watch to his work - I don't know his home address. This needs to come to an official end!

I think I'm done whining now. Feel a bit better.

Galina

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2003
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 6:28pm
I have one, I have one...or maybe two... ARGGGG...

First off, work has not stopped since I got back from my honeymoon, I am supporting more people and we are hiring another probably sometime soon (next few weeks). I need to talk with my boss and let him know I feel over whelmed but a bit nervous to do that. I just need to get the courage up.

So on top of that, this is payroll week and we have yet AGAIN another issue with payroll, thank god I caught it before payroll was called in or 2 contractors would not have been paid this week.

Then I come home looking forward to a nice evening with the boys and I find out that my oldest (11) who should be responsible enough for his school work has a book report due MONDAY! I have repeatedly asked him to bring the book home knowing it was coming due and finally he does last Thursday. So Thursday he reads, then is at his fathers for the weekend which he does not read or practice his trumpet...they were too busy, I can see Sunday (stretch but I could see) But the WHOLE weekend just a 1/2 hr each night/day how ever thye can fit it in? PLEASE...he is always pulling this stuff...just because it's the weekend forget school work and responsibilities! I do believe there should be FAMILY time but an hour over the course of a weekend is really is not much to do. I even asked their dad to make time for these things..but as usual go unnoticed.

I feel like I am always on top of things making sure they get done and they don't and I end up getting so frustrated with the kids and J. Poor J gets the brunt of my frustration, thank god he is GETTING it with me, he is so patient with me when I feel overwhelmed. (very blessed for that)

So now after that long vent, I feel better (especially because my boys have told me over and over that they love me along with hugs and kisses) and just can't wait to get to bed but that will be a while now, I still have laundry to do, dishes to put away and a dreaded phone call to the boys dad. J is working late tonight and I will probably be in a deep sleep before he comes home....gosh he works so hard.

Lori

Lori
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2001
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 7:55am
Report card day was yesterday. My oldest son (will be 11 on dec 9) brought home 1 B (in Social studies-due to a project he got an A+ on thanks to my help), 3 C's and 4 D's. He got 9 check marks (needs improvements) out of 12 possible. He got a "3" effort (unsatisfactory) in 4 classes. I'm devastated. Last year they checked him for dyslexia. Turns out they say he's a classic underachiever. This year the teacher is wonderful and called me yesterday. She said "Deb, I'm seeing some signs I am concerned about. I'm making copies of things. I think he has dyslexia". I told her about last years test. She didnt know. I dont believe the results of the test personally and will probably take him to an outside place to be tested.

His room is cleaned out-no tv, no xbox, no radio, no gameboys. He's grounded. His father took the skateboard that cost $90.00. We get a progress report (not all kids get one, she's doing this for Joshua) the week of Thanksgiving. If the grades dont improve, he's off basketball. (I was told last year by the Social worker at school not to pull Josh (was always our thing-anything lower than a C and youre off sports)...the SOcial worker said that he's not shining in the class and he is on the court-he needs this for his self esteem).

I was in tears all night long. I feel like such a failure.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 8:11am
Don't feel like a failure. It's one of two things. He's either having difficulties because of a learning condition or he just doesn't care. Neither are your fault. You are urging him to do his work and are taking away things he enjoys to keep him more focused on his work and to show him you mean business. It's nice that his father is helping in that by taking away the skateboard. He seems involved. Wish my ex was, but he thinks by calling, by seeing Dylan only when work allows and doing the bear minimum, he's super dad. But I have a great husband that takes the reigns and does double what my ex ever did.

Stick to your guns. If he's not working up to his potential, then he needs to have things taken away to show him that school work is more important. I do have to agree with the basketball thing, though. Not to step on your toes, but my son is in activites too and even though they are extracurricular and he enjoys them, I won't take them away from him if he does poorly with his work because of the same reason your social worker said. He has to be able to shine in something and to have self-esteem. I almost took my son out of an activity last spring and backed off of it because the sports are good for him.

I hope this helped. Take care!

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2001
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 8:46am
My ex only very recently became more involved in their lives. He only sees them twice a week (wed and fri) and sometimes he's not here due to work or whatever. (Priorities messed up). He bought the boys their skateboards a few weeks ago with the promise that if the grades weren't there, he's taking the board.

I explained to ex about 2 months ago that we need to stand united with the kids. They think they will be able to walk over me....and if ex backs me, they wont. Ex is trying to be more involved, for which I'm grateful.

I'm goign to look into tutoring for my son. THere's a place in my area that tutors as well as does the tests. I'm going to request the test be done.

Thanks for your input...

Deb

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Registered: 07-29-2003
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 9:14am
Hey Deb,

You are NOT a failure! I am sorry to hear of his grades!! If you think he has a learning disability the schools are required to do an IEP (Individual Educational Plan). They HAVE to do it. http://www.ldonline.org This site has a lot of good information. I first started looking into this when my son's father thought he had a learning disability that was separate from his ADD. I didn't think so but he was very adamant about it. We went to the school and they said they would have the psychologist come in and evaluate him if we wanted but they wanted to get his ADD under control so we only dealing with one issue at a time.

I am happy to hear that their Dad is finally HELPING; I hope it lasts for your sake and your boys.

Lori

Edited to say that I think the school has to do the evaluation but I don't know FOR SURE in your state, I think they do...but I would look into it.


Edited 11/4/2004 10:23 am ET ET by snshne123

Lori
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2002
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 9:45am

Any questions you may have about IEP or special ed-- come on over and ask me (ugh) I went thru the all the steps last year to have my boys tested. They both are now on a IEP for reading only...and IMPROVING IMMENSLY by the way. It took me 2 years to get the schools to do it but I am so glad I did!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2003
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 10:23am
MaryBeth,


I cannot believe it took you that long to get help for your boys! That is insane! We sent a certified letter to the school before school started requesting this, we had an appt within 7 days. I am glad they are getting the help they need.

Is it mandatory in each state?

Lori

Lori
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2002
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 10:45am

Well the Minneapolis school district is horrible which is why I am trying so hard to move! Yes 2 years of calling and complaining -- they were held back in Kindergarten once and repeated and they STILL were having problems and it wasnt enough...oh I was so frustrated.


The IEP follows the student where ever they are within the United States and it is mandated in each state but make sure you do NOT place alot of trust in the system because it is YOUR job to make sure all areas are covered (frustrating) Do you have a parents advocate? I highly recommend one!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 2:20pm
I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he feels insecure/shy? Or has dyslexia? I am wondering if the grades were a surprise or if you saw signs during the year like missed homework, low test scores?

I have found that removing TV is good - we do not watch that every day in our house. But kids do need a certain amount of physical activity to keep fit and build self esteem.

I think I would be inclined to look into the matter fully before punishing him. And I would get much more involved with school, the teacher, etc. And get a tutor if needed.

Try not to beat yourself up. Just because he does not come home with straight A's doesn't mean he is a bad kid - you have to help him and build him up.