Week two dating (well not yet) update
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Week two dating (well not yet) update
| Thu, 05-08-2008 - 11:48am |
So I have officially been working on getting back out there and being friendly and approachable.

I think you are right on track from everything you write, savannah! Happy sorting - keep us posted!
"although it may be a patience thing"
YES!
And I do agree about the phone call thing - the guy was dating around the holidays TORTURED me with long phone calls when I was tired. Never again for that sort of thing!
And I agree about the one who was too obsessive - I had 2 of those not so long ago. I think your intuition with all of these is very finely tuned and you are smart to wait.
I agree that we each would benefit from being sensitive about the other person when communicating on the phone - like time of day, how often, how long.
It makes total sense and I totally agree. But if you remember my story about MA - he didn't make any sense.
My memory of him is a visualization of a tsumani of irritation with everything he did. Words cannot stop a tsunami!! Remember the story of when he came for dinner - he brought all of his running clothes. Ran - came in totally sweaty and out of breath - tried to hug me - I explained adamantly I didn't like that because to step away and curl my nose was not enough. Then he took a 45 minute shower while I was starved and the dinner got cold. Then when I was sick he insisted on doing all the dishes and having me dry them. When I said no let's leave them he went into a tirade about how his mom always does the dishes and dries them and puts them away and it only takes a minute - he went on and on.
I truly believe a few wires were missing in him - because I felt as though I didn't exist at all. I have never had an experience like that before. The same is that on paper we matched on a lot of things and we had our memories of high school. But you have to have the in person time.
I think that he totally fried my ever having an open mind about over 40 and never married.
Edited 5/8/2008 7:34 pm ET by cl-west1745
Even though I have not had any experience with a woman who never married, I think I'd be even more cautious about a guy who is over 40 and never married.
The crazy thing, and perhaps really sad thing, is that MA DEARLY wanted to be married and had endless stories about trying to propose to women and them saying no. He thought they were all dysfunctional - but I think the reality was that they dated him a lot longer than I would have because they were dysfunctional (they did have dysfunctional family histories in many cases). He comes from a really good family - parents and siblings are all married a long time and each have 3 kids - all very educated - he himself had 2 degrees. I truly believe he has a personality disorder. He was extremely geeky and very socially inept - and not able to empathize with another person. OMG - I could go on and on. But I am not upset in any way or hurt in any way - I gained a LOT of knowledge and I believe I could spot that sort of thing much faster now - just had never experienced anything like it - and like I said - we had the whole high school experience and common friends thing - so it took some time for me to realize that things were not right.
I think if he was normal he could easily be married a thousand times over.
And I agree with you that it is very fishy if a guy is over 40 and not married. I will not take any more chances with that again. I am 46 - so everyone in my age group now has have been married by now! LOL!!