Weekend update......

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Registered: 04-08-2003
Weekend update......
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Mon, 08-27-2007 - 10:24am

Well, week two, no date! I'm sorry, but this is getting old. LOL. I am so not used to not having some sort of date with someone. Sitting at home and letting my time go by just isn't me! My way of thinking is this: I have plenty of time when I'm old, to sit and wait. But I am not going to sit at home when I'm in my prime time.

Having said that, I refuse to not date but I don't think it makes me desperate. I was asked out by a few people that I said no to. Friday night I was asked to go out on a kayaking night event on a river with a guy (and a big group of people) that I started chatting with MONTHS ago, but kept putting him off. Sounded like a great night out, but last minute. I think this guy seems nice, but a two things bug me and I think I really have to be a little more open minded because he is. He used to sing in a church choir and enjoys it and he regularly attends service. I don't do neither and he knows this, but he said: It doesn't matter, he isn't looking for someone to match his exact interests. I just never saw myself with a choir boy. Hey! That will be his nickname. LOL. Otherwise, we have very similiar interests. It will be interesting to see if I decide to go out with him or not.

I went out on Saturday night to this place where we had a Meetup planned. I couldn't believe that I got picked up left right and center. Great ego booster. The guys were HOT HOT HOT!! I mean: HOTTT! Lol! I was asked out by three guys! I was drooooling. So why did I leave without giving out a number? They were 22 and 23! They thought I was 26. LOL. When I told them I was 36 they were REALLY adamant about getting a date. They said they didn't care, etc etc. I said: Sorry, I'm not interestd in even having a cup of coffee with someone that young. And I left. I would have considered it if they were 28 or older, but 22 & 23 is just a bit to much! They were closer to my DD's age then to mine!!!

Mr. History and I talked Thursday, he asked me out for Saturday night. I knew that wasn't going to happen, but I said yes nevertheless and made plans for the meetup group. I knew if he DID decide to come through, I could cancel my meetup group last minute. Then he never contacted me again on Friday and Saturday. I contacted him on Saturday afternoon and said I made other plans. He never called me back. Yesterday (Sunday) he texted me to say that I obviously gave up on him and have a new boyfriend. How much I am hurting him, etc!!! OH PLEASE!!! WHATEVER!!! I told him that I'm tired of being his doormat. That he doesn't deserve nor require an explanation if I am seeing someone else or not, but that I am over his excuses and over being nice to him.

So I guess that's it for a run down. I'm really not that interested in being in a relationship, but I do enjoy going out with people. I like going out and flirting and keeping myself open for someone that is nice and wants my number. I don't think I need to close those options, I just need to ensure that I am a lot more picky about whom I date.

ETA: I did mean to say that choirboy isn't just some guy. He has his masters, has his own successful business and is really interested in the same things I am. I like listening to him talk. We really seem to have a few things in common. He has two children that he has 50% custody of as well. So no, just because he's a church goer, isn't a deal breaker for me. I have been pondering about going to church more often again. I guess I just think being a choir boy is a little odd. LOL




Edited 8/27/2007 10:36 am ET by myprecioustwo

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 10:51am

Choir Boy sounds nice, and if you were going to date again, he'd be a great guy to date, I think.

As for Mr History- I wonder why you even bother planning a date with him expecting him to stand you up. Never mind the fact that he's playing mind games up the waazoo- which is never fun to deal with- but why would you even want to set yourself up for failure?

I would save myself the hassle if I were you and simply forget him- he should truly be history.

Moody, not one for giving second (or third or fourth) chances


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Registered: 02-20-2007
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 10:58am

Sounds like you had a fun weekend too. Dating is good.

As for CB, I know some pretty wild people that sing in the church choir. I don't go often and am often scared off by those that do as well. I have to say as long as it isn't the biggest topic of conversation, I'm usually OK with it. I, however, don't like to feel like I'm being preached to. To each his own, I say.

Priscilla

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Registered: 03-25-2002
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 11:30am
I've always wanted to join the Choir and you all know my crazy stories.
Avatar for myprecioustwo
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 11:56am

If you remember in a thread awhile back, I said he wanted to get back together with me and I said that I wasn't looking to get back together but we could get together sometime to have a beer or something. We tried that a few times to hook up and of course, it never happened. However we decided to try this Saturday again. It's kind of been a running inside joke with me. I don't take him serious. I learned very quickly the guy is full of it. I made other back up plans knowing that. I wasn't going to wait around for him and I didn't. I didn't see any harm in meeting for a drink, because I really wanted to stay close to home and the meetup event was further then I wanted to go. I had a rough week at work and school and getting the girls organized so he only lives 5 minutes apart from me, but in my gut I already knew that was a waste of time. When we texted on Sunday, because he is too much of a coward to call, I told him it wasn't skin off my back, because I had already made plans knowing that he was going to be a no show, but that I was tired of the doormat game and that I really didn't like him or respect him and it was obvious a two way street. That I saw no point in further ongoing communication.

Hope that clears that up. :)

Avatar for myprecioustwo
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 11:59am
I agree! As long as I am not being hounded to be religious, I think I'll be ok. I am not running to go out with anyone anyway, I truly am happy to be by myself. The drama seems overbearing for me, but sometimes I just miss the occasional drink and conversation with someone. Ya know?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 4:29pm

I guess I may have come off as a little harsh- maybe I know one too many guys like Mr History. I didn't mean to be harsh or critical of you- more likely I was angered because of HIS actions.

It isn't only men, I know, and certainly not all men, but it drives me nuts when people plan something and don't do it. Once would have been enough for me- I don't allow my friends to stand me up, I'm certainly not going to let a guy who professes to care about me.

I honsetly think he's playing a mind game and gets some sort of satisfaction from knowing you'll make plans with him, and then a power trip thing when he simply doesn't show for it. Certainly I think he'd follow through if nothing better came up, but he's getting off on you being his backup.

I like your response to him, and think as long as Choir Boy isn't preachy, you'll probably have a great time with him. I used to sing in the choir and teach Sunday School, but wouldn't really call myself "religious".

Moody, making amends


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Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 5:06pm

I think it upset Mr. History more that I made other plans. I waited to hear until noon, to make sure he confirmed and then I called him up and told him I made other plans. I expected a follow up on our meeting no later then Friday night or Saturday mid-morning. AND that was giving him major slack, but only because I had a back up. If it would have been a first time or whatever, I would have been ticked off, but I knew the game and I knew he was full of bologney. He just thought I was that dumb. I didn't care if he came or went and what ticked him off more was thinking I had a hot date. All I said was: I made other plans with someone else.

BELIEVE me! I was livid when he stood me up those first two times, but I wrote a while back that it was all a joke to me now. That I don't take him seriously whatsoever, because that is probably the rudest thing you can do. I just let him talk full of himself and went about my own merry own plans. Since our initial break up, in the end, I keep coming out laughing each time. But now the game has gotten old and then it gets tiring and no more fun.

I really hate games and it's funny how many players I came across this weekend; Especially the young one's. They made it amusing once I showed them how a cougar is better at it.

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Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 5:50pm

That MrHistory is a piece of work - but you handled it well and took it in stride - big pat on the back for that one.

Choirboy sounds interesting. I am happy for you that you are getting out and doing fun stuff with the meetup group and meeting more people. The real life thing is always good. And it is fun for us to hear your stories.

It is a big ego boost that those hot young guys liked you, even if you do find them too young - way to go! High five!!

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Registered: 09-25-2004
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 6:27pm

Hi,
I think this guy seems great. Also going to church can make you feel good in some ways.. no need to be religious.. It is a different atmosphere and helps you focus on something other that what you think daily..

Good that you like to hear him talk.. thats a big plus :-)

Avatar for myprecioustwo
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 10:17am
I just don't know how guys can date women that much younger. I felt extremely uncomfortable once I found out how old they were. I was chit chatting with them when I thought they were 26+ but then suddenly I felt like I was robbing serious baby carriage. How can men date women that much younger and not feel like they are dating their daughters best friend? I kept thinking about my daughter and the issues we are starting to have. Two months ago before she went to Europe she met some cute guys that were just talking to her. They were 19 and Alex is 14, but they were sitting right next to us and I allowed her to chit chat with them. They seemed really nice and headed to Iraq, but she told me that when I went surfing they were telling her how I was a hot babe and if they could date me. It made her feel REALLY uncomfortable and I think a little jealous that her mom was considered a hot babe by kids almost her age and she was still considered a baby. It's happened a few more times since she got home a few weeks ago. I don't even dress promiscious or considered major sexy. She always comments about how she can't take me anywhere because I always get hit on.
And now she's asking questions now about how she can get more of my looks and not her Dads (and her dad is seriously sexy). I keep telling her I think she's very beautiful and that her body is still developing. That she is in an awkward stage but in about 6-12 months everything will take much better shape. I tell her about how I looked like a boy until I was almost 15 and that people always made fun of me, etc. I just try to make her realize that she's in a developing stage and that she is by far more beautiful now at her age then I was at her age. STILL...... she gets weirded out even if the guy is a year younger then me, but she get's that way when the guy is older then me. I keep telling her that it's no big deal to date someone who is younger, but just not that much younger or that much older. A good balance is needed......
But really, my major concern is how I can make her understand that it's ok for Mom to be pretty and I won't start wearing a bag over my head.

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