Weird insecurities
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Weird insecurities
| Fri, 05-16-2008 - 10:28pm |
I don't know why I can never "just be" and enjoy life. LOL.
| Fri, 05-16-2008 - 10:28pm |
I don't know why I can never "just be" and enjoy life. LOL.
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Big HUGS!!
Sigh...............
I actually think having an engagement with no wedding date yet, house on the market, kid going to college....all of these things are in combination quite a bit to deal with in the transitioning department. I bet you will feel better as one or two of them gets checked off so to speak.
I know I will feel worlds better once we get a lender letter over here.
Yes once this house sells I can at least move closer to EG and to my job and my son is going to be living on campus at college.
"I guess I'm scared to get excited and actually start looking foward to the future. I feel like once I start feeling comfy and secure that it's all going to blow up"
Couldnt have said it better myself.
I didnt feel this scared when I married my son's father but I was younger and I was a LOT less in love. I am glad to be older and wiser and I am certainly lucky to be in love with SYB. Sometimes it is good I think to see that you are scared because of how great things can be. It's a dangerous cocktail of excitement/anticipation and fear. But again there is a lot at stake and I think this is only normal as long as we remember to breathe deeply through it.
Deep down I think I know great things are right around the corner and it is so overdue!! Dont you feel a bit the same?
I think that once you have experienced a marriage going south, then a divorce, and then picking up the pieces that come after the explosion, and then finding independence and peace on your own when you have kids to support, that it could never be that easy to totally trust someone again. I feel this way. And I know of a lot of moms who feel that way, both here and IRL. And in life there are no guarantees! We cannot be 17 and totally innocent again. And to have questions and be a bit cynical is not such a bad thing as long as it doesn't interfere with your life and your relationships. And that is what we have each other for here.
It is good to hear that you are getting excited about your ring and the engagement and marriage and the wedding - and very fun for us to watch you go through the process and see what is in your head about it. Have you two reached a decision about him moving and stuff like that? I was hoping he would realize on his own the nature of that request for a mom who is rooted with kids. So my fingers are crossed for you.
I really love the way you handled the part about him being in a bad mood - where you offered support but then did your own thing and were patient. That is a good story.
Keep us posted, okay?
Hi isys,.. These kind of thoughts are perhaps just random.. and effect of your past- not a part of your personality.. You ahve made it so far. That is great.
Somehow I am in very good mood these days- and when I read he got frequent flyer..the first thing that came to mind was, that he wants to take you on some trips..lol.. SO that is a possibility. Also if he travels a lot that makes sense.. even if he doesnt travel, I think it is good- after a while you may get a free flight. In fact I am planning to get FF for all ailines..coz it adds up and you could get a free trip down the road.
Congrats on your engagement- I didnt know it happened- I knew he gave you a ring- What was the proposal like- was he down on his knees.. I want the story!!
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