Is this weird??

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Is this weird??
21
Wed, 12-03-2008 - 2:10am

My boyfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
In reply to: kiddo_as
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 12:12pm

Wow, 18 months hey?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
In reply to: kiddo_as
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 12:32pm

Oh- I would CERTAINLY take her up on the offer to hang out... just so that I could BLATANTLY question them BOTH why they were so FASCINATED by the ex's life!


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
In reply to: kiddo_as
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 12:41pm

That is strange!


I would not be very comfortable with all of that. I don't believe you are being insecure by voicing some concern. I find it odd that he says he is committed to you and wants a future with you yet seems invested in whats going on in his exs love life? Why? I think he needs to cut the tie-- the emotional one that he seems to be getting some sort of pleasure out of, by being so close to this friend and his exs life.


I think that I would simply ask him what it is that keeps him so invested in the relationship with the ex and her friend. Listen to his response and then decide if you can live with his reasons. I find it to be a boundary issue..one that he should back away from. And your comment "he just seems almost distracted from our relationship in some strange way by all of this." says a lot. He is distracted. And thats not fair to you.. your relationship will suffer. I would definatey get this out in the open!

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
In reply to: kiddo_as
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 12:49pm

Also he has said that this friend phones him, and wants to hang out so much because he thinks she's been having a rough go with relationships. and she's just lonely....


*Pacific queing City to start up the violins*


Oh poor girl has to use YOUR boyfriend to lean on. This strikes a nerve with me...I've BTDT, let me tell ya! My bf BE has a troubled daughter lways into drama. She has a friend who used to feed BE info about his daughter all of the time. PLUS she was seducing him every chance she could get before I came into the picture and even tried to do so many many times since then even with me in the picture. And BE would say the same thing to me back then "she tells me about my daughter"...and I would have to remind him that she was also trying to worm her way into his dockers as well. I finally drew a line and I am so glad I did. BE needed to step away from her to see how manipulative she had been.


Don't be fooled by your bf's excuses as to why he needs to talk to this friend. He is a grown man and if he needs to get info he can go directly to the source. He does not "need" her to give him the scoop. Thats

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
In reply to: kiddo_as
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 2:33pm

Alison, and Pacific...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
In reply to: kiddo_as
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 3:11pm

Pacific how exactly did you go about the conversation with your bf??

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
In reply to: kiddo_as
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 3:54pm

Thank you sooo much Pacific!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
In reply to: kiddo_as
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 5:05pm

Again...good luck. The right guy will understand and make a compromise. I don't subscribe to the idea that just because a

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2008
In reply to: kiddo_as
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 9:37pm

I think every sistuation is different. the guy I am dating lives an hour away and is a

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
In reply to: kiddo_as
Fri, 12-05-2008 - 1:25am

Pacific- Ya I totally do believe that it is okay to have some 'insecurities' in a relationship too, and that they should be voiced....I also