((big hug)) Rebecca, So sorry it all worked out this way for you, but now you can heal and move on. It's good you clarified the issue with C and he was honest about not being the one for you. Somewhere out there is a guy who will treat you as well as C did AND be ready for a full commitment. Sorry the OLD boarders got ugly. I don't go over there anymore because it does get snippy. If I want an inane arguement, I'll call my X, don't need it in the virtual world.
Well, you did the right thing if that was what your heart and heat told you to do, regardless of what was on the boards. You are a strong lady and it will feel right again soon if it doesn't already.
You are a good role model for you daughter. Be proud. :)
Your post is well written, and obviously you've given this a LOT of thought. I think you know where you are, who you are, and what you want. You have made an informed decision, looking out for YOUR happiness.
I know this must be hard, but the fact that you can look at the positives and not dwell on anything- the very fact that you aren't angry or behaving in any sort of mean-spirited fashion shows how wonderful a person you are, R!
I love the fact that, whatever the outcome, you aren't hating C or regretting your time together.
Brava to you, and keep your chin up! You're an inspiration to me!
As someone who practically knows you IRL (because it DOES seem like we've met before, even though we haven't)- your post here really sums it up better than anything. I am glad you're doing okay, and I hope HE finds some counseling to figure out his commitment-phobe issues, because I also sense that he could make someone a great partner one day if he'd just let himself take that "big leap" (and not make it a BIG LEAP, but just letting a relationship SLIDE into it, as what I thought yours was doing). I'm sad for him, really.
I know you'll be fine- and to have known him for the time you knew him... I think it was good. I think it was JUST what you needed after all the mess with the ex, and to see that nice men DO exist out there- and that they aren't all like the ex. I know you know that before- but to find someone as nice as Carlos, it wasn't just "out there" anymore.
I don't keep up with the OLD board, but I'm sorry that you had to deal with any cr@p stemming from there. I've been in my own board battles myself in the past, and it's never fun, and more stress than anyone needs, even though it's "virtual"- you still feel the ACTUAL stress from it all!
Oh Rlch, sweetie - I am both happy and sad for you all at the same time. I don't think anyone HERE was mean - rather - we all saw the concerns but we loved the story and your posts and were supportive - I think you were talking the OLD board? Right?
Anyway, what you write here, "Suffice it to say it was my choice. I took stock of what *I* needed"
IS SO SO SO HUGE. You should be so proud of yourself!!!!!! Because when you can get to this point you are very close to finding your prince charming who is going to adore you very much!!!
IT IS all about taking stock what you needed. And I do think you had a heartfelt realization that he just can't commit - that it is HIS problem. Something is just a little crazy in his wiring.
And you did enjoy it while you had it - and then you realized you can't have what you want with him.
So, I am sad that this one didn't turn out just the way you wanted - I do know your pain because I have had quite a few of those since my divorce - but I am so happy that YOU ended it and came to these conclusions on your own. And I do know that you have life circumstances that would make you want to put your head in the sand.
So this is big for you.
I do hope you continue to post here becase we all love your stories very much.
Thanks SO much everyone. & absolutely not, NO, none of the issues with the board had anything AT ALL to do with this board. Yes West, it was the OLD dating board. There were a couple, & 1 in particular, very mean, actually,a
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So sorry it all worked out this way for you, but now you can heal and move on. It's good you clarified the issue with C and he was honest about not being the one for you. Somewhere out there is a guy who will treat you as well as C did AND be ready for a full commitment.
Sorry the OLD boarders got ugly. I don't go over there anymore because it does get snippy. If I want an inane arguement, I'll call my X, don't need it in the virtual world.
Well, you did the right thing if that was what your heart and heat told you to do, regardless of what was on the boards. You are a strong lady and it will feel right again soon if it doesn't already.
You are a good role model for you daughter. Be proud. :)
{{{{{HUGS!!!!}}}}}
Your post is well written, and obviously you've given this a LOT of thought. I think you know where you are, who you are, and what you want. You have made an informed decision, looking out for YOUR happiness.
I know this must be hard, but the fact that you can look at the positives and not dwell on anything- the very fact that you aren't angry or behaving in any sort of mean-spirited fashion shows how wonderful a person you are, R!
I love the fact that, whatever the outcome, you aren't hating C or regretting your time together.
Brava to you, and keep your chin up! You're an inspiration to me!
Moody, awed and amazed
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Rebecca,
I'm sorry that things ended the way they did- I know it's not how you envisioned things to turn out.
Hugs here too, R!!!
As someone who practically knows you IRL (because it DOES seem like we've met before, even though we haven't)- your post here really sums it up better than anything. I am glad you're doing okay, and I hope HE finds some counseling to figure out his commitment-phobe issues, because I also sense that he could make someone a great partner one day if he'd just let himself take that "big leap" (and not make it a BIG LEAP, but just letting a relationship SLIDE into it, as what I thought yours was doing). I'm sad for him, really.
I know you'll be fine- and to have known him for the time you knew him... I think it was good. I think it was JUST what you needed after all the mess with the ex, and to see that nice men DO exist out there- and that they aren't all like the ex. I know you know that before- but to find someone as nice as Carlos, it wasn't just "out there" anymore.
I don't keep up with the OLD board, but I'm sorry that you had to deal with any cr@p stemming from there. I've been in my own board battles myself in the past, and it's never fun, and more stress than anyone needs, even though it's "virtual"- you still feel the ACTUAL stress from it all!
~shrimpy, still cheering for you all the way
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Oh Rlch, sweetie - I am both happy and sad for you all at the same time. I don't think anyone HERE was mean - rather - we all saw the concerns but we loved the story and your posts and were supportive - I think you were talking the OLD board? Right?
Anyway, what you write here, "Suffice it to say it was my choice. I took stock of what *I* needed"
IS SO SO SO HUGE. You should be so proud of yourself!!!!!! Because when you can get to this point you are very close to finding your prince charming who is going to adore you very much!!!
IT IS all about taking stock what you needed. And I do think you had a heartfelt realization that he just can't commit - that it is HIS problem. Something is just a little crazy in his wiring.
And you did enjoy it while you had it - and then you realized you can't have what you want with him.
So, I am sad that this one didn't turn out just the way you wanted - I do know your pain because I have had quite a few of those since my divorce - but I am so happy that YOU ended it and came to these conclusions on your own. And I do know that you have life circumstances that would make you want to put your head in the sand.
So this is big for you.
I do hope you continue to post here becase we all love your stories very much.
HUGS!!
Thanks SO much everyone. & absolutely not, NO, none of the issues with the board had anything AT ALL to do with this board. Yes West, it was the OLD dating board. There were a couple, & 1 in particular, very mean, actually,a
Rebecca, best wishes. I hope you start feeling better soon. Break-ups suck no matter who initiates them.
Trish
Thanks Trish, R~
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