Well, I get to meet Dad BUT

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Well, I get to meet Dad BUT
24
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 11:58am
he is still confused. So he is willing to move forward even though he is still confused. No sure what that means. At the core of this I really feel is a trust issue. Not so much that he doesn't trust me but trust that this is the right direction for him. He basically begged me to give him more time although he felt bad because he couldn't say for sure what would happen and he knows that Alyse is getting more and more attached. I told him that I felt he had kept a certain distance there. He seems to be trying to take these little steps toward trusting in a future with me. i suppose you are right about patience and steps. My BF told me to go to the race and see if meeting his father changed anything. I don't think that anything with Jack will be overnight. I just have to focus on the small efforts and the fact that we have been and are moving forward (at a snails pace but oh well - more time to enjoy the view right?)

Ok so I am being positive here. Yes, it hurts my feelings that he is still confused about his feelings for me but what can I do. I don't think dumping him will help anything. I am stuck. LOL.

So on the 21st I am going to go to the Busch Race at MIS and take pictures of the semi truck I designed and meet his Dad. Wish me luck - knowing me I will have a monster zit or a cold sore and be bloated from PMS and then start my periods at the race LOL! Not to mention do and say something totally inappropriate without meaning too. UGH - I hate pressure!!!!!!

Laura

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 11:19am
I thought MY dating history was interesting - holy cow! I don't have any freedoms unfortunately because I have no back-up or sitters that are available. I don't trust young girls so I am in trouble with that. Have no interested single friends either. I need more friends! HAHAHA!

Good luck with the trainer buy but beware of shy ones (Jack is 31 shy and loves my kid too - just sayin'....)

I could do rebound but I am tired of that one. Rob still would jump at going out with me. I will give it a few weeks and see ;) - before I call him that is!

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 1:12pm
Thank you for responding back to me. I love your story. You have such a great attitude. Are are an inspiration for everyone. You haven't dated in a year and a half, and you are ok with that. That's awesome. You really are a strong person. I loved the part where you said you redecorated your house and cleaned every closet. I'm sure I'll be doing the same thing. But that's ok, both my house and my closets need attention. I know I need time to get over this relationship, but I know I'll be ok. I always have been in the past. It sure helps though to hear stories like yours. That's why I absolutely love this board. Everyone here is so real. You know you're not alone, and that's important when you go through a break up. Thanks again for sharing your story, and I hope things work out with you and your trainer.

Donna

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 7:46am
Thanks, Donna. That is kind of you to write. I am sort of in a rut with the situation with my trainer. Last weekend, when we all went out, he and I had a lot of chemistry and he was so happy and surprised to see me and couldn't take his eyes off me (my friends all commented on this, too). But for some reason he is holding back on wanting us to go further. As I explained, he is 31 and still young. He lives with his brother and they do a lot of stuff together.

I am going to see what happens this weekend and if it is nothing then I am going to step back a bit and not spend as much time with him during the week. It will help me to keep my feelings in check and try to keep my expectations lower and just enjoy him as a great coach. It is a long story - we have been working together for 2 years and the chemistry started just over a year ago. He really likes my son and we do have a lot in common. I think he does have strong feelings for me but does not know what to do with them and the fact that I am a single mom AND HIS CLIENT makes it more difficult. Sometimes a little absence makes the heart grow fonder - we will see.

It is not like there is a line of men waiting at my door to take me on a date so I have been okay with just going with the flow. I did have feelings for a guy from Virginia that I met when I was in Sweden but I don't want a long distance relationship. I have had my eyes open and just haven't met any available men I would want to date. I live in an upper class family suburb where most people are married - this is great for my son but hard for me. I am very active with 3 different sports and triathlons so it is not like I am not exposed to meeting new people.

I have met a lot of single women here who have not had dates in a longer period of time than me - many have never even been married and they don't have kids - all ages - so I know it is not me. There is a total lack of available men who want a committed relationship and there are a lot of women looking.

When I was first divorced I was on a mission to find someone and I dated a lot of people. Now I think I have come to grips more with being alone for a while. I was totally content being alone until I started having feelings for my trainer which also resulted in the feeling that I want another child.

I am sorry that your relationship didn't work out. Unfortunately I know your pain.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 7:48am
Hey Laura,

That is scary that they are both shy and the same age!!

Don't worry - you will find more babysitters when you are looking for them - maybe when she goes back to school?

I vote for the rebound - isn't Rob the one you liked then you told him that and he freaked but then he decided he likes you? Call him now. Don't wait.

Tell us more about him!!

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