Well I know u all are just DYING to know

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
Well I know u all are just DYING to know
7
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 12:08pm

So here is my lovely tale of how I entered into the dating scene:

I am 31 years old and I was married to my exh for about 8 years when he decided that he just couldn't live with me anymore. I worked full time, 40 hours a week, but yet, I was supposed to keep the house spotless, have dinner waiting on the table for him, take care of our twin boys, and make sure all the laundry was clean, folded and hung up. It was way too much for me and so he decided that I wasn't the wonder-woman he wanted and he wanted to move on. At one point he even asked if it was ok if he dated other people while we were married so that he could find out if I was the one... er... um... a big resounding HELL NO! ;-) Sheesh, silly boy. Doesn't he know I don't share well? (flunked that in kindergarten, really... hehe)

So, the divorce proceedings start, I move out of our home because I cannot afford to keep it (he kept it) and move into a two bedroom apartment. We each have the kiddos every other week, which has been good and bad. I still feel it is a little chaotic for the boys, but I try to keep an eye on it and at the first sign of stress from them, intend to try to change it.

I stayed single for the few months that the divorce was being finalized, until about 2 weeks before it was I met an amazing man. I was seriously not ready or looking to date yet, but he has become my best-friend. We can talk about anything, love each other's company, have a ton of the same interests, he respects me and finds me extremely attractive, the sex is great... the only issue we have is that neither of us are ready to take it to the next level yet. So, we are currently enjoying ourselves and the moment and he loves my boys and they love "mommy's friend" Tyler. So, Tyler and I have been dating for about 9 months now and are just moving right along, having a great time. :)

This seems like a wonderful group of women and I am glad I found you all! And thank you for the wonderful welcome. :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 1:27pm
Twins alone qualify as 2 full time jobs in my mind - never mind with working 40 hours a week - what a jerk your exh was to expect all that of you - sounds like the one I was married to as well. What a sad thing that happened to you!! But I am glad you are dating someone you like and that you have found us.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 3:20pm

Thanks for sharing your story darlin! I am glad you are happy right now with the man in your life. How long have you both been dating? I'm definitely not the one to be telling you this, but just try to keep grounded and enjoy the moment for what it is. My best friend has twins and it's a tough road. Respect to you for doing it so well!

Hugs,
Catherine

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 4:46pm
Thank you, I am glad I found you all also! Ack. Do you think our exh were related? ;-) LOL!

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Registered: 07-01-2005
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 4:48pm
Thank you, Catherine. Yes, those twin boys can be quite a hand-full, hahaha! I think part of the reason we are both taking things slow is because he had just gone through a divorce (no kids) right before mine was finalized. She had cheated on him and broke his heart. We are both a little gun-shy, so to speak. But we both really care about each other, so we are going to be patient with our relationship and where it leads, if anywhere.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2006
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 7:01pm

I think we all may have been married to the same man :) It is amazing they don't think of you as super woman, but when you move out (too late), they all of a sudden realize all that you used to do that they took for granted... but never tell you that. My ex told my old neighbor who relayed that to me. It made me feel better, but still would be nice to hear from ex.
It sounds like you have landed on your feet well. Enjoy your time with your friend. It sounds like neither of you need to rush into anything. I would stay with the "great sex" phase for a while. Boy, do I miss that!
I have the one week on, one week off set up with my two boys as well. I think it is the greatest setup for everyone involved. Makes dad become super-dad every other week, and realize that it is not easy :)

Congrats, and thank you for giving the rest of us hope.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
Thu, 07-26-2007 - 12:02pm

I agree! Isn't it amazing how much they realize you did for the family when it is too late? My exh even wanted me to consider marrying him again! Whaa? Er... no...

hehehe ;-)

I am definitely going to just take it slow and enjoy the moment. I have a big move planned next weekend, moving closer to my mom after my father just recently passed away, and the boys are really excited to be moving closer to Grandma. :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2003
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 10:20pm
Fancy meeting you here *wink* Remember me?? LOL

Your story sounds similar to mine, except I am in the middle of the divorce process - but STBX left for the same reasons yours did...think he has another woman, but whatever at this point!

Sounds like you're enjoying yourself too - woohoo!

Nadine - deenie1979

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