Well, it's been a month now...
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| Mon, 09-20-2004 - 1:30pm |
I'm so happy! This guy treats me like gold! And he's really good with Nicolas too.
I don't know how you girls are but I like an old fashioned guy and he's like that all the way. He opens doors, tells the waitress what I'd like to order, and pays for things. I will pay as well, but I will slip the cash to him under the table so it looks like he's paying. That's the way I am, something that I've always loved to see since I was a little girl and watching both my dad and my uncle. I thought that it was so chivalrous and galiant. LOL!
We get along well, we have a lot in common, and we have a lot to talk about. He's a good natured and patient person, which is great. He puts a lot of value in family and is close to his family, and happy that I am so close to mine. His mom is a great person and she's raised him to be such a great person.
I can't help but compare him to Nicolas' dad, and I know that's not right, but he's so different from him. He's good with money, has savings, has good credit, pays his bills on time, owns credit cards with no money owing, has his own place and works full time. My ex was a drug addict/alcoholic who mooched off everyone and barely worked 3 months in the 5 years we were together. So I guess I'm just thrown off cause things are so different.
But I am sooooo happy and I deserve that happiness!
Nicolas is doing well too, since I am so happy and calm that I'm not stressed out and have a lot of patience. Which is always needed when dealing with young kids. He had his birthday yesterday, just turned 5! I can't believe it!!! How time flies!
Well, that's my update...
Alison


Hi Alison! Congrats to Nicholas on his big 5th Bday! Sounds like you had a nice time!
Your dating life sounds great so far. And you know, I don't think there's a THING wrong with comparing him to your ex, and knowing that he is everything your ex WASN'T but you wanted him to be. Now you know what you want and you are seeing it under your nose. I think that's excellent. He sounds like a gem.
The first thing I noticed about my now DH was his gentlemanly behavior. Opening doors, paying for things, and just in general being a completely old fashioned gentleman. That grabbed me quickly. First time I'd had someone that did that as though it was second nature, and not as if he was simply trying to impress me. I am right there with you! And because he wasn't trying to impress me, 3 years later he is STILL a perfect gentleman. I love it!
How long after you met your dh did you know he was *the one*? Tell me your story!
Alison
Gosh Alison, J and I had such a difficult dating life (due to a lot of depression and "junk" in general in his life at the time) that I questioned us all the time. I was never good at knowing someone was "the one" because I don't know if I buy that. I think the reason I knew I could marry him (on top of just plain old being crazy about him and wanting to!) was that we worked really well together to get through some tough times. We seemed to balance one another well. I know that's not romantic particularly, but there's nothing like knowing that you CAN grow old with someone.
He was just so wonderful with Tyler. And I could tell he genuinely loved him and did NOT see him as an intrusion. He had never dated a "package deal" before, but it seemed to come naturally. When I saw how his family (in spite of their disfunctional'ness) worked together and stuck together, I knew I could depend on him to stand by my side. He proved time and again that he would go to bat for me, if and when necessary.
He caught my eye from day one with his ability to converse with me (keeping up with me can be quite a feat! LOL), being a gentleman and really connecting well with my ds. He was a keeper in spite of all of the difficult things, I think, mainly because of those reasons. We also kept a similar moral "code" if you will and shared my values. ALL very important things when you're going to do something difficult like blending a family.
I guess the answer to "how long" would be...Well, right away I knew he was a good candidate, and it was a matter of waiting to see how the fine points worked out. You can know about some people right away, if they'll be your "type" for a life long partner, and there are others that you just sort of laugh off after the first date. When I decided to date him, I wasn't planning on it being anything other than just for fun. But even though I was a little skittish from previous bad experiences, I think I knew after that first outing that he was special somehow and I wasn't going to be able to just casually date him.
OH, and you said something VERY important. You feel that Justin is modeling behavior that you would like YOUR ds to pick up on. J did that for my DS and you are right, it's KEY in raising children.