well this is sort of encouraging
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well this is sort of encouraging
| Mon, 08-29-2005 - 12:16pm |
As most of you know, I have tried the OLD thing - a while ago for like 2 years and then recently for about a week. I find it too discouraging for me with my age group - I am very fit and have my life together and want the same.
But just the other day I discovered an online dating service for fit singles - it is called fitness-singles.com
So that is encouraging for me - I will keep you guys posted!!
Of course I have also been active IRL (in real life) - but nothing so far. Just fun getting out!! And that is okay, too.

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Well, that sounds promising!
Hopefully you find some fit guys to do your marathons with!
Hopefully they're not just fat slob guys who are just logged in to find fit, sexy women! UGH
LOL
Alison
So far it has been encouraging - I would want to date almost all on there!! A couple of really nice guys have written - although so far they are from out of state.
So I figure that if they are great it is only a matter of time before a local one who is great finds me, too.
I am hesitating on the much older guy thing - because even though I am 43 I think I really want to have another child. I have always wanted a family - and would love to give my son a sibling. I just know I have it in me. So I don't think I would want a guy in his 50s for that reason.
The guys on that site in their 50s are very fit and attractive. But I guess it is best to wait - maybe if I am older and still haven't found someone I would be willing to close the "baby door"?
Comments and opinions are welcome!!
Dear Judy,
I only have one daughter and always envisioned a second one. At 42, I was dating a really nice fella and he was willing to consider one more (my DD was 6yo then).
Stephanie, CL of the Dating as a Single Parent board: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-p
Hi Steph,
Thanks for sharing your story and your thoughts. That is kind of you to write and it is good to know that someone else has grappled with the same thing and is okay with only one child - I find that encouraging. I understand your decision and think you made a good one for yourself.
I do have a few friends who had children in their 40s so I would have hope for me and would be willing to investigate fertility treatment options. I am hoping to meet someone in shape which might mean younger than me. I am still in the "looking and getting out there" phase.
What happened with the man you were dating, if you don't mind me asking?
How are you doing now with getting out and dating? It is so much harder when we are older because we all have such preferences, tastes, hobbies and situations that matter just as much as the chemistry thing.
Ugh, MULTIPLES! I could barely handle ONE baby, I don't get how people can handle two, three, four, five, six babies. Man, I'd be pulling my hair out! LOL!
I guess we have some twin mommies on this board- can I ask how you survive the first year?
Alison
Ugh, MULTIPLES! I could barely handle ONE baby, I don't get how people can handle two, three, four, five, six babies. Man, I'd be pulling my hair out! LOL! ...
So how is it going?
I have met some really nice guys so far who have great profiles and have written nice letters and are cute in their pics and are looking for an LTR. BUT....they are all out of state and I cannot settle for that.
The ones in my area are not really matches so far at all (based on looks or what they are looking for) - but in a matter of time they will come. Or I will meet someone in real life - I am working hard on that too - always keeping the social ball in the air, making new friends, staying fit, looking my best.
I am okay with being alone - I want to meet the right person who is really into me and I realize it takes time, especially now that I am older. And in the mean time I am relishing my freedom.
I just sent my coach my list of races for next year - and I feel so blessed to have this much freedom in my life. I want to go to Australia!! Also, they are supposed to start the pool today and the kitchen very soon. I have designed all of that - no compromising or arguing with someone else's taste. And I have done some work on my teeth and been clothes shopping as I please.
I believe that there are just different "eras" in life - for example, when you have a baby you are consumed with that and have to enjoy that stage while you have it. For now, I am in the single mom era and have to enjoy all I can while I have it.
I know I will be okay if I do not have another child of my own - but if I can I want to have that option and not just shut the door by settling for an older guy online.
I hope all of that makes sense. I will keep you guys posted on my progress. I really appreciate all of the comments and questions. And of course I am all ears if you have more.
Judy,
I can understand the "closing the door" idea- I have always maintained that if I hit 35 then the idea of another baby will be out. J and I haven't decided if we will have kids together (right now it's not looking that way, by mutual agreement) but I said I don't want to make that kind of decision yet. But if we haven't decided to have one by 35, then I'm taking myself out of the game and closing that door.
Have you thought about adoption?
Alison
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