Went to court!
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| Thu, 09-22-2005 - 11:14pm |
Apparently XH's lawyer told him that telling the judge that he thought that the court order had been thrown out was not a good idea. Instead, he went in there and said he just couldn't pay because he was so broke. The judge obviously did not believe him about what he claimed he makes (everyone knows he is being paid under the table but we can't prove it) and tricked him into admitting he was lying about one of his statements. The judge told him that he was sentenced to six months in jail. Scared the crap out of him. Then the judge told him that he would suspend the sentence contingent on him paying his child support plus $30 weekly toward the arrearage through the clerk of court's office beginning 9/30. If he misses a payment, a warrant will be issued immediately and he will serve the full six months. XH was not pleased, but I got someone to walk me out of the courthouse and make sure I got in my car before he came out.
So I was pleased with the way it went, because I really didn't want him put in jail. Of course, at $30 per week, I will still be collecting child support when I have great grandchildren. LOL
Kelly

Kelly,
I'm glad that things went in your favour.
I do have a question though, what if he does miss a payment and goes to jail, is he still going to owe you the money when he gets out, or would that "wipe the slate clean"?
And if he did go to jail and had to pay, would there be another contingent that if he missed another payment he would return to jail?
It's so hard to fathom what these guys (and some women) think when they deny the money that is going towards raising their own children.
I mean, as a single mother, I put out 99% of my income towards the needs of my child, and my ex is required by law to only pay me 8% of his income, which is not much because I cannot prove the money he's making under the table. He tells me that I should put ds into karate, swimming, soccer, etc... and when I say, "oh, you gonna pay for that?" he's all defensive and "I have no money..." You know that 2 summers ago he made $50,000? I know because he was bragging about it to me, but did I see a dime of it for support or against the money he owes me? NOPE.
GRRR
Alison
If he does go to jail, whatever child support he misses will be added onto his arrearage, and he will get to pay that at his $30 per week.
The funny thing is, that I was seriously thinking about backing out of it. I didn't want to have to tell my kids I put their father in jail, and I was thinking that I had made it so far without his money. Then a friend stopped by to wish me luck just before we were leaving for court, and told me that I was doing the right thing, because they had seen XH on a date (not with his fiance!!!) two weekends ago at a fancy steakhouse. That weekend was when I had to have my car fixed, and was left with $32 to buy groceries. The kids and I ate bologna and eggs all week, while he spent more than that for one dinner behind his girlfriend's back. That made me decide to go through with it, and when my mom pointed out to me that he had money to pay his lawyer but didn't have any to give me, that sealed it.
I don't think he would miss a payment, because he was so freaked out when the judge said that he was being sentenced to six months. I would not be surprised, however, if he doesn't take me back to court to try to have it reduced. With what he is claiming on paper, I make more than he does.
Kelly
I KNOW that my X wouldn't get out of bed for less than $10 an hour but have no proof. His current GF, and ex OW, just had their first child and sees him NOT paying still. She asks me to be patient that he will eventually pay me back. Can i hold my breath and wait for that money? LOL
In the mean time i scrap and juggle to pay all the bills for DS and I and my X is out buying new baby stuff for his new son.
It's sickening!!!!!!
I could file contempt charges but then he'd just go back to jail, where he seems to like to be. And X would probably tell our DS i put him in jail. i can't win. I wish i could go into witness protection and just drop off his planet all together.
The pennies he's ordered to throw my way aren't worth the aggrivation i put up with dealing with him and his phone calls and changing of plans.
sorry....i feel better now.
So what if he tells the child mommy put me in there. Stand up and tell your child why, and maybe he wont see his father as the wonderful person they may think he is.I pay my ex 28% of my gross check every week. See the kids twice a week and split medical and after school activities with the ex. And lets not forget the clothes I buy and other things when just taking them out.
I guess I cant believe there are so many jerks out there.
I think you did the right thing. You must put your kids first.
Some people in life do more than what is expected. And some people do just what is expected.
But unfortunately, there are many in life that do far less that what is expected and right. The are consistently marginal. These are the ones that need firm boundaries. They are the ones who only perform when you put their head on the chopping block and take out the knife. Your ex is obviously one of these and he really gave you no choice.
Don't look back or think about this too much. Just know that you will do whatever you have to do to raise your kids right and get what is due to them. Be tough. Remember, no slack, no mercy, no regrets.
I am glad you were strong. You have set a good precedent early on.
Hi Sara,
Im sorry about your situation. This goes under what my dad used to say - some people are only alive because it's against the law to shoot them. Just do the best you can with DS, and he will know which parent really loved him when it counts.
Kelly