What "are" my intentions?
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What "are" my intentions?
| Sat, 11-17-2007 - 11:05am |
Hey Everyone!
This is my first time posting on this board but I have been enjoying the posts.
| Sat, 11-17-2007 - 11:05am |
Hey Everyone!
This is my first time posting on this board but I have been enjoying the posts.
I really believe that dating relies quite a bit on timing. Are you ready to date? Is HE ready to date? And what are you wanting from the whole activity of dating, and are you both on the same page? It's not like there is a right or wrong to your reasons WHY you are dating- it's just important to explore, so you and your date are together with the same reasons and/or goals.
Some questions that I can think of for now, to ask yourself:
Are you dating just to get out and have some fun for the time being?
Or are you dating with the goal of getting married fairly soon?
Are you dating for a fling and nothing serious?
Are you dating to have a long-term relationship, but not necessarily marriage?
Are you wanting to date to eventually move in together, but not get married?
Are you dating so you can find someone you might be able to have more kids with?
Are you dating just so you won't be alone?
I'm sure there are more... but you get the idea. Maybe the questions can help you decide too- if you are confused as to just WHAT your own intentions are, and he is wanting some kind of response. It might be good if he answers some of these questions too- and see if you guys are on the same page.
And in this type of thing- it's best to answer what you honestly feel/think/believe, rather than responding with what you think the other person would want to hear. Or responding a certain way just to keep the other person around longer. It's a time to answer honestly what YOU want, even if it might mean you break up because of it. Because if you aren't on the same page on these things... it's not good for either one of you to keep on dating each other anyway, KWIM?
HTH,
~shrimpy
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
If I hear someone ask me what my intentions are then that tells me they are looking for a commitment. You already told him that you are going with the flow.
In my experience is that when the relationship gets difficult then instead of hanging in there and doing work on it, one or the other person bails. I would love to be in a relationship that we both are willing to commit in working on it before walking away.
I think the best either of you can do is to commit on communicating what is going on with you and each of your views/feelings day-by-day.
Mark
---
May your soul be at rest.
May your heart remain open.
May you realize your own true nature.
May you be healed.
May you be a source of healing for the world. - a zen prayer
Mark's comments made me think of something else to add...
Overreacting- if you are just wanting to date and 'go with the flow'- know that there is nothing wrong with that! And know that giving him that as a response IS telling him your intentions. If he can't accept it, then hopefully he will let you know. If he is wanting a more serious commitment, and you don't... then he needs to decide if he is willing to hang on, and keep dating and see if you might grow into wanting more of a commitment later on. But he has to be willing to wait, and know that time does NOT always bring people around.
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
I totally agree with shrimpy that timing, or what I call "state of readiness", has a TON to do with the success of a relationship.
Are you dating just to get out and have some fun for the time being?
Has he mentioned what HIS intentions are?