what to do....
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what to do....
| Thu, 06-29-2006 - 10:38pm |
FOB has my son for 10 days starting July 7-16!!! He's 2 and a half, this is the longest we've ever been apart, longest is fri-sun, just thinkin' about it gets me sad, what am i supposed to do without him??? what did you guys do?? They're goin' out of town to florida too.

My XH is taking my kids to the beach July 8-16, so I know how you are feeling. My younger daughter is 2 1/4, close to your son's age. My older daughter is 6. That will also be the longest I've been without my kids. I'm going to use the time at the gym. I'm 5 pounds from my weight loss goal, so I figure I'll make that week a little mini boot camp. Other than that I'm going to read a lot and enjoy some "me" time. Maybe I'll spend a day at the salon getting my hair and nails done. I think the best thing we can both do is turn it into a vacation for ourselves and use that time to rejuvinate and renew. Whenever I feel happy about not having the kids, the guilt sets in, but then I remind myself that a refreshed mommy makes for a better mommy.
Also, I've discussed my concerns (ie watching the 2 yr old near the ocean, putting sunscreen on the kids, etc.) with XH and knowing he is aware does help ease the worry. He has also promised to have the kids call every night and I will have all his contact numbers.
Hang in there - you'll do fine. It'll be over before you know it :)
It took me awhile to figure out what to do when I didn't have my kids. But, I slowly started doing things that I used to enjoy and never had time to do. I hope the time flys by!
Stephanie
My dd just came back 1 1/2 weeks ago from her first 1 week summer visit. Actually, exh decided to be a jerk and kept her for 10 days instead of 7. I was beside myself b/c there wasn't anything I could really do to get her back. Our divorce decree says that his every other weekend is actually every other Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. We got in an argument on that Sunday she was supposed to come back. We are supposed to meet at the police station for drop offs and pick ups and he wouldn't meet me there. He was threatening me and trying to force me to come to his house to get her. I wouldn't put myself in that situation, so he kept her until Tuesday. Since the decree stated pickup on Tuesday, and there was no way to prove that he wasn't on his weekend, I had to let her stay.
Okay...enough rambling...
It's hard to just pack our kids up and send them off. I was really upset before she went b/c I thought, "she's just going to think I left her; that I don't want her to be with me." However, that's not the case. Our children know that we love them and that we want them to be with us. I really think that it's harder on us than it is on them. Children are very resiliant. It may be stressful for them at times, but my dd has adjusted well to going with her dad. He's not the best person in the world, and usually drops her off with his step-mom and his dad, but hey...I'd rather her be with them than him sometimes (they seem to keep a better eye on her).
But...I make a big deal about her going. I tell her that she's going to go with her daddy for so many sleeps (that was wonderful advise that these wonderful ladies have given me), we count how many sleeps, I tell her that she's going to get to play and have fun with her daddy, etc., and she gets so excited about going. When it's time to get her I can tell she's ready to come home, and we relax and spend the entire day together just doing the things I know she enjoys.
What you need to do is take some time for yourself. Read, go out and shop, catch up on work, etc. The time will fly by before you know it. And in many ways, you might need this time for yourself. My dd is the same age as your child, and I know that I can get a litlte frazzled over time having to do everything and anything for her (not that I don't want to, but it's nice sometimes to just have time for me...).
I promise it'll be okay...don't dwell...it'll be over before you know it!
Good luck and lots of hugs,
Kait
Take a big deep breath. And relax. DS will have a good experience with his father. And you will have a great break. Sure you will miss DS. But you will get to do a lot of things you don't get to do when he is not there. Like keep your place really clean, hook up with friends or just do stuff you love that is hard to drag him to. Relax and have fun so you are a great refreshed mommy for when he returns.
HUGS!
Does your son like spending time with his dad (despite missing you, does he seem to have fun)?
I know how you feel...I just dropped my girls off with their dad for the month of July( they are 7 and 5). I will get them for a weekend and a night here and there but it isn't the same. I cried all the way to work this morning. It is tough for me because it is just me and my girls. He is remarried to a woman that has 3 kids so he always has someone. I feel your pain but we have to be strong and know that it benefits our kids to see their father and have a relationship with them. This is a great support network on here...we all know how you are feeling and I am sure have gone through the same thing at some point in our time.
christie : )
I know it's hard, especially when he's still so young, but know that it does get easier to let them go as they get older. My boys (8 & 6) are going off tomorrow for almost a month with their dad (and new wife) and I'm looking forward to it!
Just find some things to do that you can't do with a toddler around! I'm looking forward to being able to take my bike out on rides, to be able to go shopping (or just browsing) without having to keep track of anyone (or watching those little hands as they want to touch EVERYTHING). I will be able to read a book without interruption. I will be able to camp out and do my cross-stitch projects without interruption. I can go geocaching/hiking. I can sleep in!!!
I know I will miss them and I know I will be turning a tv on every morning, to Playhouse Disney or Nick Jr just to get that "kid noise" going... but I won't miss having to referree the brotherly fights over the same toys! I will enjoy having a chance to clean and straighten up the house and having it STAY that way for more than just a couple of days. I will enjoy having MUCH less laundry piling up. I will enjoy being able to sit down and watch a movie- and not have to select only kid-friendly movies, or having wait til it's late to watch something above a PG-13. I can watch an R movie right smack in the afternoon when I want- and before I get sleepy! lol
Just find the small joys in doing things that you can't do with your little one around. Mommies do need some alone time to recharge, and it's now your time!
~shrimpy, who believes in Mommies not making the kids the total center of EVERYTHING
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<