what do i do and how

Avatar for roxanne2020
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
what do i do and how
7
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 12:11am
i've been going to the chiropractor because i was in a car accident a couple weeks back, yesterday i started the physical therapy part, today was my second day, and the guy that does the exercise part touched me where he shouldn't....i called bf right after i got out of there when it hit me just how guilty, dirty, and violated i felt, so i broke down and told him and i don't know what to do, i told my mom who in turn told everyone in my family, i feel so embarassed so wrong, they all want me to file a police report but i don't want to go into details or relive it, i realize just how quick this changed who and how i am, i couldn't even let my bf touch me and i can't stop crying, they all say it wasn't my fault, but i was so scared and shocked i didn't say anything, i moved to where he'd realize i didn't want to be touched but i didn't say anything.....and i don't know what happens after the police report i don't want to go to court, it's bad enough my family know's i don't want to, it's easy to say some of it here cuz it's over the computer, but i don't think i could have everyone i know, know i feel so ashamed and i just want to forget it

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 1:20am

Are you SURE it was a deliberate fondle and not just a slip of the hand while helping you move your body through the therapy?


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Avatar for roxanne2020
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 8:16am
i know for sure it wasn't a slip of the hand b/c it happened several times and if he wanted to help me out there was no reason why his hand had to go between my legs, i was thinking at first that maybe i was just thinking stuff so i was making an effort to avoid his hand thinking like you and i was shocked, i kept thinking there's no way this could be happening to me, but then it was full grasp and instant reaction was to move completely out of the way all he said was ok ok, but a minute later he did it again.....i don't want to go back to that place, i don't want to go to court, because just like you asked they'll ask me if i'm sure, and he'll end up denying it or being a jerk..and even if he did apologize he did it, nothing will take that away, nothing will take away how i feel or that i can't sleep....and it was several times and i just stupidly stayed there and didn't say no or slap him or leave i got scared...

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 10:14am

Honey,


(((((HUGS)))))


I agree, it does seem like it was purposeful.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 12:20pm

I think you know what you have to do. It'll be very hard, no doubt. You HAVE to report this guy. I would start with the physical therapist state board and if THEY don't go to the police, then YOU have to. I wouldn't expect the manager/owner to do anything, as this will may impact the company negatively. If he was brazen enough to violate you repeatedly, then he has undoubtedly done this to others.

You have to gather your courage and just do it. You've probably had moments of strength when you said "I'm going to turn this dirtbag in." In the moment, just do it. Call 911, if that's what it takes. They will transfer you to the right person and it won't give you the opportunity to change your mind while locating the proper number or driving down. Once the ball is rolling, you'll be able to handle it becuase you are strong.

You know you did absolutely nothing wrong. You even gave him the benefit of the doubt and he continued to push. You have nothing to feel ashamed about.

Jennifer




Edited 8/25/2006 12:32 pm ET by jenway99
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 7:27pm

I just spoke to my friend who happens to be the CEO of the California Physical Therapists Association.

She said the best course of action would be to contact the state licensing board, the police, and the owner/manager. She said definately alert the board and know that they will ask if you have filed a police report.

Good luck and talk to us if you need to!

Jennifer

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 1:09pm

Roxanne,

This is very unfortunate and totally not your fault. Not to mention unnerving - I can understand totally why you are upset.

You have received great advice here. The only thing I have to add is that I think you should sleep on it and then decide what is best for YOU to do.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2006
Sun, 08-27-2006 - 11:35pm
omg-You have alot of courage to tell someone-and report him-I give you sooo much credit! something like this happened to me when I was 6 or 7, and I had no idea what to do or what just happend to me-I wish I would have been able to report that person, or even know what to do-I had no support or anything or anyone to turn to and when I did-it was blown off pretty much, and nothing was done/reported.-it was a family thing. Very sad. So you are so lucky to have such a great support system. Think about what you are doing by reporting him-think of how much more he will be embarrassed , what his friends /fam will think about him- and it's good. More so-it will prevent him from -hopefully ever-doing that to another woman. Better yet-think of other woman who did not have the courage to come forward and report this-when the same happened to them by him. I give you so much credit-you are a very strong woman. Best of luck to you. Stay strong. This man(if you can call him a man)needs to be brought down and stopped.
Take care :)