What to do when you get lonely...
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What to do when you get lonely...
| Wed, 02-06-2008 - 5:54pm |
I have not been in a relationship let alone dated for the past 8 months.
| Wed, 02-06-2008 - 5:54pm |
I have not been in a relationship let alone dated for the past 8 months.
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Great question....
First off I joined a few support groups with other women (bible study, single mom groups, and this board.. for example)... these are the places where I get my validation and sort out my feelings. I also receive friendship, companionship, laughs, and fellowship. Just the other night I was talking to one woman who recently changed jobs and had all the same feelings I'm having now... Another woman is in her first serious relationship after several years of being single and shared how she's letting this new person in vs handling everything on her own and being protective of her heart.... This kind of sharing fills my heart.. truly. And I share my story, too.
Another thing for me is going to get-togethers with friends and coworkers. I found that someone is always throwing something at least once a month. It's up to me to ask, get details and show up... I usually have a good time.
There are moments when I look around and feel lonely... feel "why" don't I have a boyfriend yet... sure in the moment it gets me down... but i know the moment will pass and i will again find many things to smile about.... (like getting a new ringtone.. i just downloaded "Rock Lobster" and when it goes off everyone in the office starts to dance.)
Another thing i do is spend funtime with my children. I bought the playstation more for me because it is something we can all do together. (especially the karaoke game... my little girls are so cute singing)
I suppose i've been fortunate to meet guys (about monthly there is someone new).. and have a make-out session that kinda gets me through another month of nothing serious... But i don't put my hope in that....
Here's what I do put my hope in... Jesus!!! He is the man of my dreams! My friend, partner, and yes even my lover. I think everyone needs to believe in something greater than ourselves (some higher power) to feel comfort and internal peace. That helps keep me from calling the EX cuz i've thought of that too.
You are not alone!!!! And the women on this board (and Mark) are FANTASTIC!!
LOVE,
Loonybunny
Ah loony just consider me one of the girls *grin*
Cool Mark - another meetup person. Do you meet singles there too? I would have to assume people do join meetup in part to branch out their romantic social life. I run this mastiff meetup here with 120 members now and some of the profiles do read a bit like a OLD profile and it makes me smile. I would be so happy if a happy couple emerged from my mastiff meetup!
When I got lonely before I met my bf, I concentrated on healing some of my relationships with other people who I am close with and focused on the men. I went out more with each of them and renewed my friendships. It was a good thing for me to do and the benefits from that continue now because if I need them for support for what I am going through now for my relationship, our friendships are good and strong and ready for it. I also BROKE off contact with exes and made a point of telling them I was doing so which was hard for me and liberating all at the same time. No more dysfunctional FWB stuff and wondering whether so and so was going to finally change his mind and commit. I knew I was lowering myself and preventing someone else from making their grand entrance. I was right. I do have a few exes I am still in touch with but I do mean a few and there was never any straggling relationship after the break up - no FWB, no waffling. So there were clean cut endings there.
I do think joining a few groups can be very fulfilling because it helps to talk to new people who know a little of what we are going through. I love this board for that. It might be nice if there were a meetup that suited you in an interest you have or maybe even a single parents meetup.
If only meetup was a big thing in my area.
It really only bothers me when DS is not here - otherwise every day is one of those "hit the ground running" types of days between his school, homework and sports activity and my own business and athletic endeavors. I have formed some good friendships with old HS alumni and we get together every other weekend - just the girls - when one of them doesn't have her kids.
I try to network and meet new people and have new things to do all the time.
I also watch movies and play on the computer - post here and on some other forums and play scrabble. Update the iPod on iTunes.
There are not that many times now that I feel lonely.
8 months seems long but it is not - many here including myself have had longer dry spells of no dating. Just hang in there and wait til the time is right for you.
You're right... 8 months is not long.
Be careful with the taekwondo teacher--my daughters karate teacher was always pretty flirty with me and we'd always joke around--he talked about being on the Rowing team and I thought for sure it was the local college team.
April
There were times I sat at home alone and cried but what did that accomplish?
April
He did not look 18--the funny thing--she'd been going there for 3 years at this time, he definatly didn't look 15 when she started!
April
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