What do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
What do you think?
4
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 11:56am

In the past I have often changed myself for the person I am with.

April

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 12:43pm

I know what you mean by "losing yourself" when you are with someone. You start doing things with them and you tend to lose sight of hobbies, activities, etc that you did before you were with them. Personally, I would like to be with someone that help me grow new interests or that would give me the motivation to start up things I used to do.

It doesn't sound to me like you are being deceitful with your description. And it sounds like you do use words like "new or expand" when describing hobbies. There is nothing wrong with saying "I've always wanted to sky dive but have never had the opportunity".

There are lots of things I would LIKE to do, but I let most of the time don't because of responsibilities I have as a single parent. One time my DD and I were visiting my brother who trains horses. She was teasing me because I would not ride. I very quickly asked, "Who's going to drive the 11 hours to get us home if I break my leg?" Also, I earn my living by using my hands, I try to be careful with them. I think about stuff like that all the time, maybe I shouldn't but I do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 2:21pm

I understand that feeling of losing your true self by becoming a chameleon and blending in with a guy's world, sacrifycing your own. I've done that. A big part of my divorce was about finding my true self and assuring myself that I would stay true to me in the future. Like you, I have a "bucket list" of things I love and yearn to experience but have not had the chance, being a mom and limited time/resources as of yet.


I would think that your profile is fine and not deceptive to yourself or others as long as you had these things in mind before Thesaurus guy was in the picture. There's noting wrong with saying to him or anyone that you would love to get into these things, and that your kind of starting over re-discovering your self and so some of the things you want to do you are not experienced in fully...yet...but you wish to be. One thing I think that is great about meeting and dating new people is that they open up your world to new things and you can jump in and join them in their spirit of adventure, or you can still do your own thing and ask them to join your adventure. I think a lot of guys would love to be the one to bring you back into something you love, something in which they already do and love also.


My SO and I were both very active but in different activities before we got together. I am now loving things I never thought I would ever learn...disc golf, for one thing! He's got a great sense of adventure and I have gotten him to experience and love hiking and mountain biking. We share our love for swiming and camping.


Just remember to hold onto what you love, and the right guy will show interest in those things, encourage you, and also open up his world of interests to you. And you can chose to partake or not! Just enjoy yourself :o)

~Pacific~
~Pacific~
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 2:39pm

I have met women who have put things that they *once have done* and don't do anymore and what they would *like* to do but have not done (yet).


I believe this falls under the "white lie" category.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 2:54pm

Thanks for the male viewpoint!

April