What do you think? (Guys answer too!)
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| Tue, 07-24-2007 - 12:37pm |
OK - so after a horrific three month experience with Mr. "Divorced really means separated and sending my entire paycheck to my wife living in another house while I sleep on the couch in my mother's basement and oh, by the way, I just don't think sex is that big a deal and don't understand why you want it once a week" (sigh - takes breath), I recover to head back to an OLD I've used in the past but never met anyone through (by the way, Mr. "Loser"? NOT OLD - met him in real life). Within the first week, I've gotten a couple responses, but nothing significant, and then this guy sends me a message...and we start to talk.
So...we converse for about a week through the site while he's on a business trip, then when he comes back, we start communicating through regular email - and finally move to phone early this week. Nice guy, good job, single (made sure of that LOL), responsible, and friendly. Didn't really ASK a lot about me, but talked a lot about himself and other subjects - easy to have a conversation with. We made plans to go out this Sunday past.
The only "red flag" I saw was that he seemed to turn every comment I made into some kind of sexual inuendo (for instance, we were on the phone, and I was drinking water that went down the wrong pipe - I apologized and said I thought I was choking. His response? "Oh, what's in your mouth that YOU'RE choking?"). The thing was, he was able and willing to have interactive, non-sexual conversations, and in reality, most of the men my age are pretty quick to hop into bed anyway, so I let it slide (and yes, he would have said something about that).
Before we met on Sunday, he answered all my emails daily - we'd email each other 3-4 time a day, spend an hour or two on the phone, and text constantly. Obviously, sometimes one or both of us were busy and couldn't talk/text/email, but it didn't take long for us to respond.
We met on Sunday, had a nice lunch, an hour long conversation, and then went for a 2 hour ride on his motorcycle. Good time, great weather, and we had fun. On the way back, I asked if he wanted to go to the park, and he said "sure, I have a little time" (thought THAT was weird since it was only 6:30 in the evening).
OK - so we go to the park, then we go back to the diner where we met. Talk for a few minutes, and we make tentative plans for me to go up to HIM this week. Gives me a kiss, and we go our separate ways.
Sunday night, I sent a brief email. Thanks for a good time, hope to see you again, etc. He responded Monday morning - I had a good time too, let me know when you can come up, and I'll try to make sure I'm clear on my end. Ok. Last night I send him a text or two, which he answers, and then I send one that goes unanswered. I responded to his email from yesterday morning, and that has also gone unanswered.
I wouldn't normally be concerned about not hearing from him all day, because people aren't always attached to their computers/cell phones/etc. during the day - but the previous two weeks had been constant emails/texts/etc., so the CHANGE is rather unusual.
So - do I wait? Do I chalk it up to "he's just not that into you?" Do I go with my instinct (which tends to be rather pessimistic, given my track record) of "after the first date, he didn't like me and doesn't have the guts to just tell me, so he's just going to ignore me and hope I don't contact him?" Do I send him a message/text today or tomorrow, just to see if he responds.
God, I hate this!
HELP!

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"I rather them run like hell then make hell in my life."
Good point.
I didn't know that your wedding date was around the corner. That is sad for you and I am sorry for your pain. UGH. But hopefully we will all get to celebrate for you for someone more special and better because you have the patience to date and not settle. You have worked hard at that.
I agree with all of your comments, observations and frustrations. Times have changed. I think the best any of us can do is to be ourselves and wait for the one to come along who likes us for who we are and who wants to be with us and who is into us. It just takes time and patience.
That is just too crazy that a fiance would pull a ghost.
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