What does on a break really mean?
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| Wed, 05-21-2008 - 8:38am |
Okay, I'm at a loss with this one so I figured I'd ask the smartest ladies in the world.
One of my employees, a dude in his mid-thirties, is dating a woman about his age, maybe two years younger. They have been dating for two years. He comes into my office yesterday and tells me this:
"Boss, she wants to be on a break. She says I can do anything and see anyone I want but she doesn't want to know. She wants to see me at least once a week, wants some space. She says that things are moving too fast. She is afraid that I'll meet someone else better and would be jealous and pissed. Then she tells me that maybe what she needs is more space. Then she tells me how immensely she loves me but hopes I understand why she needs a break."
I don't get this chick at all. I'm helpless to give advice here and that is what he came to me for knowing all the ups and downs I've had so far with my girlie. She has told him that if he proposes she will accept, then in the next breath tells him she is not ready for that yet. She talks to him about the two of them living together then freaks out the more she thinks about it. She actually called him at 5 a.m. the day after she told him she thought they should take a break. She even told him that there is no way she could not call him every morning and no way she will spend this holiday weekend without him and that she wants them to make plans.
So, here is what I need to know:
1. Why do you think she is sooo back and forth?
2. Could there have been an outside influence, like interest from a man or pressure from a friend/family member, that could cause such a fluctuation?
3. Clearly she is confused, but is there something specifically "woman" that might be driving this?
4. My employee loves her to death. Doesn't want to lose her, but doesn't want to be a sap and sit at home waiting for her to figure it all out. How should he approach this?
Poor guy, he is living an episode of Friends.
So, oh wise, experienced women, help me be the guru here.
Love ya,
Zen

1. Why do you think she is sooo back and forth? - b/c it isnt "It" for her. After TWO years, if you are asking for a "break", then I think thats the beginning of the end. Sure, there is a CHANCE she just wants to be sure, & see what its like w/o him - but she sounds pretty flaky about him.
2. Could there have been an outside influence, like interest from a man or pressure from a friend/family member, that could cause such a fluctuation? - coudl be anything
3. Clearly she is confused, but is there something specifically "woman" that might be driving this? - Not a clue when you mean by that?
4. My employee loves her to death. Doesn't want to lose her, but doesn't want to be a sap and sit at home waiting for her to figure it all out. How should he approach this?
Thanks 'becca!
Yeah,could be the end, but this is the first time anything like this has ever come up for them as far as I can tell. He's been careful to not move too fast or too slow, he is incredibly attentive to her. He talks to me about her quite a bit, and maybe he doesn't tell me everything. I don't know, but I am suspicious of her new confusion.
I've met her a couple of times. She doesn't come across as nuts. The bit about the proposal at first sounded like a secret ultimatum but then following it with the "not yet" just throws me for a loop.
So, any plans for the weekend? Hmmmm....the Jersey Shore and Memorial Day...
Zen
Sounds to me that she is testing him.
April
I think I understand a bit of what she's going through as I've often felt the same way about my situation.
Is she an inconsistent