What is happening to me....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
What is happening to me....
33
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 7:40pm

I'm getting hooked... that is what's happening...


Last night, TG was suppose to meet me for karaoke... I haven't been in over a week... and it's something i would do anyway... (trying to stay my normal self..) so i invite him to join me.. and thought i'd go back to his place after (remember all that talk about sausage from the other post... i was looking forward to it)... anyway, I get to the karaoke place and TG doesn't show...


I was very disappointed... i go by myself all the time so i don't know why i was feeling like an @$$ sitting by myself... maybe because i was expecting him, so i wasn't my usual open to meeting everyone self... instead i kinda sat alone and started getting mad that TG didn't show... I called him 5 or 10 times... began thinking he blew me off... okay another part of me thought he could have just fell asleep.. he worked hard all day and i work til 11 pm... But nevertheless, i was upset and disappointed.. and realized just how much i've been getting used to seeing him or talking to him... just how much i was getting used to his sweetness... And last night, i started thinking the worst and not liking myself for buying into it...


Okay, so he called my phone at 3 am.... i didn't pick up but he left a very apologetic vm saying he did fall asleep and felt horrible.... said he was afraid to check his vm and hoped i would still be talking to him... He called me again at 9 am hoping that i would forgive him for last night... Here's where i think i can pat myself on the back... i forgive, yes, but i didn't let him off the hook too easily... I told him honestly how I felt instead of saying... it's okay... I said, "honestly i felt like an @$$ sitting at the bar by myself waiting for you... Yes, i was pi$$ed that you didn't show. I was feeling quite stood up... it didn't feel good." He said sorry and that he felt terrible.. I don't think he slept well after he woke up at 3 am. He really wanted to see me... said he would never stand me up on purpose.. said he owes me one. And asked me how he can make it up to me.


First off, I'm relieved... i've been stood up many times before and usually that means the guy found another offer and usually also meant i'd never hear from them again. So, that didn't help in the lack of trust issue.. but I'm going to put it behind me. TG and i have talked again at dinner... I said if you truly didn't mean to then, let's put it behind us.... I know we have different work schedules... he works 7 am - 5 pm and i work 2 pm to 11 pm.. After a night together i can sleep in and he still has to work all day.... so i understand.


How would you make the guy... make it up to you? I should have told him he needs to buy me flowers or chocolate.. but i thought that would be too demanding... we've only been dating a couple weeks... I think if he takes me OUT tonight... that will suffice.


Was i too easy on him, too hard, or just right?


Loonybunny

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 7:51pm

A sincere apology would have been enough for me.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 7:54pm

I believe that it is your baggage that comes to play as you acknowledged about your trust issue, etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 7:57pm

I think I would just let it go. Maybe it is something to remember for next time because to me it seems a bit much that you would call him 5-10 times in one night. I would have assumed he fell asleep - call once and then forget it.

Rather than worry to see if it is going to work, focus on you and your stuff - and let it happen over time. If it does great and if it doesn't that is also great because then you are free to move on. It is all good!

How is work going?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 8:00pm

I'd cut him some slack.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 8:03pm

point taken, however he offered to "make it up to me" and asked me how... so i wanted to come up with something appropriate... he said, anything i want because he just wants to see me.. which is really sweet... i just don't want to be taken advantage of... so yah, that's my issues of trust.... and it's going to be something i work through.. so thank you for pointing that out...


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 8:46pm

The part about you calling him 5-10 times was what creeped me out. Back down, LoonyBunny!!! Your possessiveness and clinginess

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 10:09pm

You said that so well Shrimps~


My thoughts exactly!


Loony- I'd let it go, because he seems sincere in his appology. I understand the panic feeling and disappointment and leading to conclusions- I've been there- but I'd give him the beni of the doubt now- and like west said, just put it inthe back of your mind and only be concerned if it happened frequently.


Your work scheds being different might be a challenge for work week evening get togethers. How do weekends look? Do you have some off time together when you both are not having to get up for work?


"or some shared nakie time .."


hehe, Shrimps- I'm totally stealing that phrase. It cracks me up and puts a sly grin on my face. Thats cute!


~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 10:24pm

lol... i thought calling 5-10 times was normal.. my bad... I guess i was thinking about how one time i was suppose to meet Sean and fell asleep.. he called my phone 30 times that night.... so to me 5-10 seemed only a little. oops.


but guess what else i did after calling 5-10 times and he didn't answer... i called the Cop... i didn't leave a message but the cop called me back tonight and still wants to get together for that cup of coffee. D'oh. ... and the plot thickens... But really i think it will be a good thing for me to date more than one person.... it will keep me from being clingy, right.... and wouldn't it REALLY be my luck if Sean gets back to town and starts ringing my phone off the hook... it will be Man Raining Season again.... :-S


loonybunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2007
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 11:58pm

Calling anyone that isn't answering their phone 5 times is creepy. I might just be old (at 28) but if you call me 5-10 times, I'm going to delete you for being an obsessive freak. That might have been harsh, but I see restraining orders in your future if you continue :(

Reading your posts, I think you might need to spend some time with just yourself. No phone, no one else to talk to, no attention. That's kind of a challenge. I know it was for me too. Can you spend about 2 hours alone, after the kids are asleep, without talking to anyone? If you can't, you should think about that. I had to. I realized that I was just substituting people talking for someone being there (an SO). Life got easier when I let my friends off that need and just got comfy with being alone. It's actually a nice break once you acknowledge it ;) OMG I can do whatever the hell I want (in my house) from 9 pm on!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Fri, 04-18-2008 - 7:28am

I think lettting TG off with just dinner and as Shrimpy said "nakie time" is not a bad idea.

April

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