What I'm learning from new book.
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| Thu, 03-15-2007 - 11:06am |
Hi All,
Like I've said, I bought "He's Just Not That Into You." I'm 2/3 of the way thru and feel so much smarter. The book itself is not a therapy kind of read... it's very comical but the light bulb is going on!!! I can think of soooo many guys that fit some of the descriptions. Even an old flame from years ago that I wondered why we never got together.. and I made soooo many excuses for him. We've kept in touch over the years and I'll still hear from him every now and then... BUT I must face the truth "he's just not that into me." And that's the only reason we didn't get together the first go round. Plain and simple. He's the guy I kinda think that after all is said and done maybe he'll finally court me when I'm 80. Silly, but we all have one of those, right? Time for me to completely let him go.
And despite the fact that the title of the book is negative on the ladies when the guy isn't into us... the book actually talks about why we shouldn't be interested in him either if he's behaving in those ways.... And worse when we make excuses for them. The general gist: STOP making excuses and move on. I think I'm beginning to get it.
And the bottom line of the book is we are WORTH calling and being pursued. I know I've been told this time and again but never listened before... The right guy won't make me work so hard or think tooo hard. My job (as Liz, the female author says) is to be happy with my life, do things that I like, go places that I like going, be confident in my fulfilled life, etc. (although I still feel like I'd ask a guy out if I felt like it.... I'm just such a rule breaker). But I will stop making excuses for them and keep moving on. I think the book is worth adding to anyones dating bookshelf.
Loonybunny

I think the most interesting thing is that if a man acts the way we are told to act, the answer is "he's just not that into you" If we act that way, it is normal? I don't know how I feel about the double standard, although not a big fan of pursuing a guy. I know plenty of women that have initiated a relationship and it works for them.
Just my take on it
Priscilla
Hi!
That is such a great book! Very insightful don't you think? I've also learned a lot from that book but it's doesn't always work for every man. Each man and relationship is different but yes, that book does throw a lot of the unknowns out there for us. Hey....another good read "Men, Love and Sex: The Comlete User's Guide for Women" by David Zinczenko, the Men's Health Editor in Chief. Basiclly, thousands of men confess their well guarded secrets about how they really feel. Check it out, you won't be able to put it down!
-V