What Makes Men Fall in Love? (Article)
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| Wed, 05-30-2007 - 11:15pm |
Hi Ladies!
I subscribe to the blog "Mysteries of the Sexes Explained" on yahoo and the guy who posts these blogs wrote a pretty good book, "Men, Love, and Sex, The Complete User's Guide for Women." The book is AWESOME!!! He's the Men's Health Editor-in-Chief, David Zinczenko. He interview thousands of men for his book. Anyways, here is on of his blogs which I found very interesting. Check it out:
What Makes Men Fall in Love?
Posted by David Zinczenko
on Thu, Mar 15, 2007, 11:34 am PDT
Judging from the kind of mail we get at Men's Health from men seeking relationship advice, I can tell you this definitively about men: When a man falls for a woman, he falls hard. Men love to be in love. While men often get stereotyped as single-minded sex-seekers, the truth is that a man's stomach churns like a slushy machine when he's in those initial stages of the perfect relationship.
When you consider that half of men say that they're currently not with their soul mates, that means a heck of a lot of slushy machines are waiting to be turned on. What are they waiting for? What makes a man fall in love? After you rule out the obvious intangible laws of chemistry, attraction, and being in the right place at the right time that kick-start many a relationship, I think the question really becomes this: What makes a man fall -- and stay -- in love? About 60 percent of men deem friendship the most important thing in a relationship (sex comes in at a skimpy 8 percent, according to a national Harris Interactive poll), but let's delve a little deeper. What exactly does that mean, and what kind of woman does a man really want? With full acknowledgement that men's tastes in women are as unpredictable as the plotline of "24," these are some of things that many men value in "the one."
A Woman with a Passion in Something Other Than Him
Yes, it's nice to be doted over. Yes, it's nice to be pampered. Yes, it's nice to be with a woman who showers you with compliments, neck kisses, and all of her attention. But there's a virtual Great Wall of China between a fleeting, flirtatious glance and the kind of attraction that can last a lifetime. Many men say they like a woman who's immersed in something else other than the relationship -- be it her work, or her sport, or whatever her "thing" is. Why? The passion she shows for something else confirms her inherent goodness, her personal drive, her independence. All pluses in the woman we're hoping to spend a few decades with.
A Woman with No Problem with Guy Time
Every relationship has to choreograph the time-together dance. Once a couple elevates from casual to serious, it goes through that period when most waking and sleeping minutes are spent together. But at some point in the dance, one person will call a time out from the music of coupledom, and try to spend more time with his or her friends -- while still being careful not to step on any feet in the process. Even when they're with the most perfect woman, men still crave the occasional space to spend golfing or drinking or doing whatever (64 percent of men are happy to have the time to themselves when their wives or girlfriends have plans). Men love, appreciate, and are thankful for women who respect and endorse (and not complain about) his need to have a few testosterone mixers. Don't worry, March Madness will be over in just a few weeks!
A Woman with a Strut
Her strut in the bar may have been part of his initial attraction. The strut from the bedroom to the bathroom after the first night together may have been pure visual ecstasy. But the strut that happens day in and day out is one of the major attractors for a man. What do I mean by the strut? It's that attitude, that sassiness, that confidence, that charisma, that charm that shows she can be a little bold and little daring. In a recent post I talked about the line between a woman being confident and a woman being so aggressive that she turns men away, but the truth is that in certain aspects of relationships, men want women who have the strut. Men want to be with women who challenge them, who push them, and who take the lead some of the times. And that's as true in the bedroom as it is in planning their next weekend getaway. The danger? While it can be insanely attractive, that strut of confidence can also swing a man 180 degrees -- if she uses it in other places, like to flirt with other guys, to become a relationship dictator, or to pick a fight with his mom in front of the whole family. He'll point that kind of strut right out the door.
A Woman with a Good Taste in Ties
Okay, so we don't really care about the ties per se. But what we care about is a woman's ability to give us a little-and this is a key word-gentle guidance. I know Freudian followers will say that it's a man's need to be mothered, but it's more than that. Every relationship is a give and take, and guys will definitely take women who can warn us when our new soul patch looks stupid, who can guide us to the perfect suit and shirt combo for an upcoming job interview, who can help them make decisions without being harsh or judgmental. Guys like to project that they know what they're doing and that they don't need any help. Women who can help steer us, without aggressively grabbing the wheel, are the most treasured copilots.

Wow!
What's wrong with March Madness?!?? I think it will be over too soon! lol Thankfully both Hiker and I are LOVING the NBA playoffs right now. The Dallas Mavs (his team/our team) might be out but the San Antonio Spurs (my team/our team) just made it to the Finals tonight! Woohoooo! And then we celebrated with our own little celebration afterwards. :-) :-) :-)
Anyway- thanks for sharing the article! It's quite interesting, and I truly believe that women are more attractive (even to other women as friends) if they have a passion for something on their own. I find that the same goes for the men- men without a passion for something in life, just seems like empty bodies to me. I think these same things can be problems if the MAN oversteps these lines in a relationship as well. Especially the 1st three.
I'm surely no man-expert, but from what I do know, the things listed are very true. And to overstep the boundaries/break the guidelines too much, it DOES drive men away.
~shrimpy
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Oh I love the NBA finals! Too bad my team (Golden State) didn't make it! As a Mother's day gift, my man asked if I would be his date and took me to the Golden State game!!! It was soooo exciting to see that game! I'm glad the Spurs beat out Utah! Utah Sucks!!! I'm all for the Spurs winning!!!
Thanks for your input on this article! I do agree it does go both ways. I think it's just good insight on the opposite sex.
-V
I definitely agree with this article. Even with the men, the guy I dated last, A, had no hobbies or anything except playing golf but he would have rather been up my butt then go and play golf. No way! It got to the point where the conversations were getting stale. Sometimes I feel that I have TOO much going on!
Good articles V!
Jennifer