what a shocker

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
what a shocker
2
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 11:09am

I don't know what I have posted on this board about my divorce, but the long and short of it is -- we were having problems, ex went to grad school for the summer, met girl, started spending all his time talking to girl on phone and e-mail, eventually we split, and he ended up with other woman. This was almost three years ago and he had since moved back to New Mexico and she moved there as well.

So yesterday I go to pick up daughter at the half way point between CO and NM. He tells me that the girl broke up with him. While trying not to laugh -- he looks awful -- I ask how he is doing etc. Again, my therapist would be proud because the only somewhat mean thing I said was that the grass isn't always greener on the other side and now you both know that. By the time I left with DD he looked like he was ready to cry. I felt awful for him, but I also feel sort of glad. Is that terrible? He seemed to think he could get away with leaving his family for this girl and everything would work out perfectly. Now that it hasn't, I am kinda glad he got what he deserves. Again, I sound like a total bi#$%.

The worst part of the whole thing is DD loves this woman. The girlfriend had helped her make me an amazing mother's day gift so I had taken her a lily to say thank you and now it doesn't really matter. DD was very sad last night and I was the one who had to deal with it. Happy mother's day to me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: neverdull1
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 11:33am

That is a sad story - and not the happiest mother's day ever for sure. Sorry to hear you had to go through all of that and that your DD had to be so upset - that is so hard on the kids for sure. But I don't blame you for gloating.

I think holidays are always hard on single parents. No one is really here for us on our birthdays and Xmas and Mother's Day. We have to be content to know we are making a difference in the life of a kid!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
In reply to: neverdull1
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 1:03pm

I'm sorry you had to deal with your DD's sadness. At least this woman was nice to her and was nice enough to help make a gift for you. I can imagine this girl felt your ex was not worth her time anymore. Maybe she will still see your DD for lunch or something when she visits her dad. That relationship doesn't have to stop just because her father no longer sees her. I am separated from my husband and probably will divorce. My son is from my 1st marriage and I will never allow my husband's relationship with Dylan to be over just because he and I are no longer together. They adore each other. I say that if this girl is nice and you don't have a problem with it, tell your x that he needs to allow DD to meet old GF for lunch sometime. It wouldn't hurt at all.

Good for you in dealing with him the way you did. It's ok to feel bad for him, but it was good that you just let him be. Nothing snide, nothing sympathetic.

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