What works/doesn't work for you....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
What works/doesn't work for you....
9
Sat, 10-13-2007 - 2:57pm

Hi All,


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Sat, 10-13-2007 - 3:03pm

Hi, I think it is important what he does for living. Personally I would NEVER go out with a guy who left his full time job to take up poker full time..( No wonder his ex never let him see his kid).

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 10-13-2007 - 3:54pm

The only answers count are the ones you give yourself. You have already said that you don’t want him to meet your son. The fact you have such questions on the source of his income, his relationship with his son says something doesn’t it? I invite you to look at what your intuition says and what are your core values are to answer your own questions.

You also have stated explicitly on how you want to focus on your son and that there is no rush to share time with him. Isn’t that the answer to give him?

I have been through many close relationships and know that love in 4 weeks seem premature for that is more lust/infatuation in my opinion. And after 6 weeks he is pushing for a long term commitment? What does that mean? Being sexually exclusive? Moving in together?

Again, you seemed to have already answered that yourself.

Mark
---





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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sat, 10-13-2007 - 4:24pm
My values HAVE to mesh. I have to agree with what he does for a living. That he respects my wishes for things related to DS. That he has to respect his family and especially his kids. The things you don't like would be deal breakers for me, too. Perhaps you are confused because of the chemistry. But you should always listen to your inner voice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Sat, 10-13-2007 - 10:08pm

After reading all

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 10-13-2007 - 10:23pm
I think this is a VERY sound choice.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Sun, 10-14-2007 - 4:11pm

I think as far as the income goes- is it illegal?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Sun, 10-14-2007 - 7:43pm

I thought that I had the same opinion as yours...it is legal. I am not sure if it is legitimate but he seems to be doing well. He always paid for everything with me. But he never bothered to purchase health insurance for himself which only came up because he was sick so I said go to a doctor. etc...I thought that was odd. Irresponsible.


I was fine just dating, he wanted more, so it ended. It is prob. for the best. He was sexy, and very attentitive and into me. It was very flattering but i

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 10-14-2007 - 9:15pm

Don't look back - you did the right thing because your values do not match. It was irresponsible to let the health insurance go especially since he does have a family to support. And you are smart to keep your standards.

Hope all is going well and that you stick around - good to see you back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Sun, 10-14-2007 - 9:37pm

Thanks! I wonder too, if he pays less than he has to in child support since the courts think he is unemployed. He says the ex wife is psycho. I was like...if she is that psycho why wouldn't you apeeal things with the court? Can an ex just make it that impossible for him to see his son? Doesn't the Dad have rights? He said she would just drag him to court and fight, putting the child in the middle so he made the best choice and that is to back off and someone had to stop the fighting.


I don't know why I keep rehashing this..


Tuesday night I am having dinner with my attorney friend. I was supposed to go out with my girlfriends but I really want to see him. I have been friends with this man for 4 years, we dated breifly and he was the one I had little chemistry with. I have been wondering on and off if that could change. He is so my type in every other aspect. Just a good guy and we totally share similar values on everything. I am not jumping into anything again so soon, and he knows every little detail about me.


We will see....