What in the world am I doing girls?
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What in the world am I doing girls?
| Thu, 09-18-2008 - 2:41pm |
Ok, first off, so sorry for being MIA the last few days but with rates dropping like they have been I have been swamped, plus I started a second part time job and you throw in kids and well..............you know, lol.

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Oh wow, girl. I see what you're saying....potential train wreck in the form of heartache could be around the corner if you keep on with DJ.
That's really tough. Because he seems cool and fun and everything else. But your gut is saying that you might want more than he will be capable or willing to give. I'm a firm believer in the gut and the signals.
So I guess that you have to decide if a non committed relationship is OK with you. Because that is what he is presenting. There are so may variables...he "might" go back to the ex...and obviously he is still emotionally connected to her. And he is saying who he is right up front... not ready for a serious thing... and just like with some other guys here on he board we have been talking about...it is his disclaimer, so that if and when you want more and he doesnt, he can fall back on the "fine print" he is presenting to you now.
Hugs!!! I'm sure with everything on your plate you don't need this guy messing with your head. Maybe a few days apart to sort out your feelings would be in order?
What I read from you is that
1.
Yep, bites the big one here.
OMG, I am feeling the exact thing right now with Mr. Ghost. I liked how things were prior to ghost, I didn't want to be married, just be casual, but I also found myself "falling" for him more than I wanted to when I got into it. So that made the silent treatment so sucky. After the apology from him, and talking a few times, I just don't know where we stand, and I don't want to get sucked into this wondering game, either.
So I know what you mean. I think in your/my gut, I know this is not the right path. I like the companionship that came with it. But do you ever feel like you are doing everything on his terms, his timeline? I start to get that feeling, and as much as I want to be accommodating and "cool", I did that for 18 years of marriage and it didn't get me anywhere!
I think when we accept their terms, we shortchange ourselves. He says no commitment, but will he change his mind? Can he do it at this point?
I'm sorry you are in this position. I know I want something more with someone, I'm just too chickens$^t to say anything. Ask me again in a few hours after I call him.
After I read your post, I took the dog for a long walk, and gave myself a long talking to regarding my man troubles. When I got back from the walk, I read your post again. It really made me think.
As much as I was secretly tickled the the ghost called me back, in reality this isn't going to work. I realized while I was walking that I DO want some sort of relationship on my terms, not his. I realized that since he reappeared from the dead, I have done all the initiating contact. He wanted to get in touch at the end of the week about the weekend, and I did the call, he didn't respond, and I had to press for an answer because my kids wanted to do something and I had to make arrangements. He gave me one, but it was "saturday would be better if I am not too tired" WTF? So that means that I, once again, have to initiate or sit around while he decides if he is tired and then scramble to figure out what to do with the kids.
Ew. I do not want to feel like I am begging to be with this guy. In your case, you don't want to feel like you are second fiddle to the ex wife. You want to be number one, in some sort of way. I want to feel like the person on the other end of the phone line wants to be with me. I hate the idea of "the talk", but we can't feel like the other person is mentally elsewhere.
I had too many years of marriage like that, I DO NOT want to go down that road again. I don't want any scrape of attention that the other person wants to give.
Yeah, do the deed. It will suck for a couple of days, but I honestly don't think that someone who was intimate with his ex only a couple of months ago is ready to move on to something new. It is almost too bad you didn't meet him a year from now.
Well..if it were ME..I'd dump the bum..lol
Leslie, 31 proud single mom to Luke, 7 1/2
I've really learned over the years not to live in the past, I think now is the time to not try living in the future either.
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