What would you do??

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
What would you do??
25
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 10:56am

One of the things I've been working on in the last few years, is overcoming my sense of guilt.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 11:12am

"What did YOU do to cause him to stray?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 11:17am

Its just sooooo frustrating!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 11:58am

You know, my mom tried to take that tactic when I was getting divorced and she also said a lot of controlling things like that afterwards.

I distanced myself for a time. And one day when she was saying something I don't like I told her, "you know when you say something like that that is so upsetting to me, I feel like I don't want to speak with you anymore" - and she started being better.

The thing, I think, is that you have to stand up for yourself and let her know she is not allowed to say things that are upsetting to you or you won't be talking to her as much because right now you need to focus on positive things and people who will understand you and support you. If she wasn't cheated on, then she can't possibly ever know what it was like and it is so wrong for her to point a finger at you when you are in such pain - that is like kicking a man when he is down. It is absolutely unacceptable for her, in my mind, to ask you what you did to drive him away.

edited to fix a very stupid sentence I didn't like!!




Edited 7/7/2008 10:50 pm ET by cl-west1745
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 12:00pm

Hey, B.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 1:00pm

THANK YOU!

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 1:12pm

I think that those who are closest to us are the most challenging to be with.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 1:29pm

Oh Moon, It feels so good knowing others have been in my shoes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 1:30pm

Soooooo true!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 2:05pm

I can SOOO relate - are you sure we're not sisters?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2008
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 2:59pm

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