What would you do ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
What would you do ?
3
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 1:35pm

Ok, I know this will be a hard topic, but I was listening to this talk show yesterday and wanted to know what you would do if this was you and your daughter (or son)?


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 2:22pm

I would just go to the DA and tell them what happened and put it in their lap. A 9 year old? What sort of "psychiatrist" is this radio person that isn't aware that a violation of law involving sexual abuse of a child has to be reported? But what keeps getting me is the idea of demanding an "explanation". What sort of explanation from the guy is going to make it okay? The guy has to be apprehended and stopped. Does he have daughters in that age? Are they going to have children? What about other little girls that he may come near?

No, just go to the DA and let the cards fall where they will. If she loses the friendship of her sister, then so be it. I would turn in my brothers if either of them did this to my daughter or granddaughters. My first responsibility is to the children, not to an abuser.

Michael

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 3:10pm
It should be reported, although it will be hard for the family and child involved. My cousins daughter was nearly molested(she fought back-hard) by her husband's life long best friend (he has a wife and kids-sick!). He hired a really good lawyer and fought it to the bitter end. His relatives even harrased my cousin and made life impossible for her and her family for a while, it got really, really ugly.
My cousins daughter is mildly retarded and his lawyers had a field day with it. They said she made it all up and really gave her hell on the witness stand. Unfortunately our legal system makes it hard for justice to prevail. My cousin's daughter got no justice, he beat the rap. After it was over and I visited with them, I made it a point to let her know, that although he wasn't convicted, that she should be proud that she had the courage and conviction to stand up to her attacker and let the world know what he did.
That she had nothing to be ashamed of, she told the truth. It was really sad she started crying and thanked me profusely for believing in her, she said that some people, even some of our own relatives(a--h--) were skeptical because he was supposedly such a respectful guy. As a mother, it just kills me. Children should always be believed, extreme few would make this up. That's why I always make it a strong policy never to leave my children alone with anyone, as a childhood victim of abuse myself, I don't trust anyone. I would rather be accused of being paranoid than God forbid, something horrific
happens. I will keep this child in my prayers, she needs all the support she can get.
The T Girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 8:48pm

I would waver between turning it over to the police OR having a talk with my sister. On one side he is a child abuser and needs to be stopped. But on the other side I would want to avoid putting my child through any more drama, which is what would happen if it went to court.

Nevertheless, I would have a talk with my child about touching and about how she feels about the whole thing and to see if anything else happened. I would never allow her over there again.

I have friends who never allow their daughters to spend the night or swim at other people's houses for this very reason. If I had a daughter I would be very careful, too. You just never know.

This is a very tough subject. I would always side with what is best for my child.

I can also imagine that the sister would call the child a liar and side with her own husband. It will create a deep family rift for sure.

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