What would your reaction be
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| Tue, 11-13-2007 - 1:14am |
After we had it out, I left it up to her. We have been still dating, but I'm moving cautiously.
I had off from work today so I met her for lunch and we spent a couple of hours together. It was great.
Before she went to bed tonight she called to say good night. She told me about how much fun it was to watch her DD in gymnastics, and how proud of her she is. I reminded her to check on her son to make sure he did his homework (she called to him while we were on the phone and he answered he didn't do it, so she made him) and asked how the dog was. After some small chit chat she told me that "plumber boy" aka ex-bf, had called again to get a massage from her. She tells me that she told him no, that she was fully booked at her home office but he was free to see if there were appointments available at the day spa she works at.
I am not sure what to do with this. She told me he called and I'll assume she did tell him no at home. So, is this a breakthrough in our relationship and is she trying to be very open?
Or is it her telling me that she isn't yet going to shut the door. She is still taking the call and talking to him, telling me she is just trying to be nice.
It bothers the hell out of me that he might book at the day spa and get her to put her hands on his naked body. I'm sure there wouldn't be any hanky panky at the spa, but I'm afraid it might open the door wider. I know that if I were to tell her that it bothers me too much to even think about her hands on him and that I wish she wouldn't even think about it at all and tell him no, not ever, that she will view me as insecure and controlling. I'm thinking that I might tell her that an old GF is coming over for me to rub her down. Wonder what she will think about that.
Since you all know the story, what would your reaction be if you were in my shoes?
Zen

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Hey Zen,
Well put me down for three days/two nights, single occupancy and room service is
Hey Pacific!
Very thoughtful response. I was going to suggest to all women who want to place the "my children are the most important thing to me" type phrase in their profiles to maybe tone it down or put something in there like "I am a mom, so please forgive me if I can't be as spontaneous as I'd like to be." or "As a mom things sometimes unexpectedly pop up, so I am looking for a man who understands that and can be flexible at times." That says it better and doesn't scream that the guy won't be a priority of any kind.
I am sure it is hard for women to balance the "I'm a mom" with "I'm a sexy, loved woman" at times. Especially if you had a horrible divorce and your children are
Love is by its own nature a codependent emotion
Emphatically, no.
"Maybe cl-Alison would come down and treat me the way I deserve...LOL! "
LOL!
Zen,
You never cease to amaze me with your thoughtful and thought provoking posts.
Zen, where in NJ are you?
Between Exit 98 and 91 on the Parkway. I am actually just a mile from the southern most stop of the Jersey Coastline train. Zip 08742.
But alas Lizzy, you are now in FLA. How in the world would our love ever last? LOL!
Depending on where you are in NY, might be able to meet you somewhere. Always love the city at the holidays...
Zen
My zip code is 08742...
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