Whats with all the blasts from the past?
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| Sat, 01-03-2009 - 9:43am |
There is really something weird in the air. Between Rebeccas reconnection, Mich's connection and now me. My mom brought me some mail yesterday and in it was a letter with an address that did not ring any bells. The outside of the envelope was hand drawn with these amazing intricate details that i havent seen in about 20 years. So I open the letter (2 pages worth) and it was from my first b/f in art school. We had a fiery intense steamy and magnetic often volcanic romance. It ended abruptly when i was moving home for still some unknown reason. I became absolutely homesick and mom said enough was enough she was no longer supporting me with bad grades so i either had to do it on my own or come home. I was young, stupid and incredibly lazy so i chose to come home. Anyway,it was an amazing letter. He reminded me of the intensity we had and the letters that I wrote to him after I moved home. As a matter of fact he made a reference to the butterfly tattoo i got in art school and how he made me a butterfly that i actually TORE my closet apart looking for today...LOL I didnt find it. Anyway, hes led such a full whirlwind life going across the us from Florida to Los Angeles now back to VA. How crazy is it to get

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It MUST be the season...old ang syne and such (think Dan Fogelberg for those old enough to remember that song--LOVE it). I too had a (wonderful) encounter (date?? he did pay for dinner & the movie) with an old BF while on vacation back in my home state last week. I really blew it when I told that one good-bye (it was all my doing--ending things). Sure wish I'd been a little smarter 15 years ago. Sigh.
Can't wait to hear more of AS &
Ugghh old wounds that have been long buried have resurfaced and it stings like he**. I know it wasnt his intentions but dang it hurts all over again and its been almost 20 years. He posted photos of us in school and its like i was there yesterday. The crazy white hot love, the passion the wild intensity...and i looked sooo happy. I guess naive really...its just made me feel old and like ive taken so many wrong paths in life. I know I know that the paths even if they were wrong brought me to having DD...but now i have all these what ifs. Ughh I didnt need a dose of "this is your life".
M - feeling old and sort of sad life has been flying by and i never took advantage of everything offered to me. If I onyl knew then what i know now :0(
M
Oh sweetie, big, big hugs. I know the feelings you're having all too well. I have 'what ifs' myself these days (esp after my outting last week with my "what if" man from 15 years ago)...I'm sorry it wasn't the walk down memory lane you expected or wanted. But you're right...you have a wonderful child to show for what you're feeling like is a lot of pain & wrong choices. Don't belittle that momma!
So, what is next? I'd hate to see you dwell on this too long.
Hey M....
I was looking for an update from you!! How are things with M Hot teacher AKA Mr. M? And how were your holidays? Did your little one just love Christmas or what?
Hi Pac, Welcome back. Holidays were good...really very nice. DD got a ton of presents and she plays with all of them every morning noon and night. BUT by far I could have saved myself a ridiculous amount of money had i just gotten her 2 cases of playdoh. SHE LOVES IT...i however, do not. It makes me sick to my stomach LOL New years was low key. Actually spent it with Mr.M watching Hancock (good flick by the way). He went home around 10 and i was asleep at 10:15 LOL. We have been spending some nice time together. Hes atually been spending time with DD wich i wasnt to keen on but she loves him. He floored me when he read her green eggs and ham before bed the other night. Hes coming over for dinner tonight...again low key. im making homemade chicken noodle soup and a salad. Im having a hard day today...other than revisiting my youth with AS (i feel so freakin old and didnt need a reminder of a really painful breakup but its nice just the same) my boss cut my hours today, follows it up with i need to run an add for a CAD designer and oh yeah Im going to africa please make my travel arrangements...B*TCH...I left to go do banking and i was in tears in my car. My coworker is going to talk to her. He doesnt get how you can cut someones hours and in the same breath double their workload and be a total raging selfish pig. This to shall pass...id just like a level playing field for a longer stretch than a month.
How about you Pac? I missed what the jewlery was. How was DD's Christmas?
M
PS If i work up the nerve to post a pic of my college days ill let you know...LOL
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