Whats the best way to approach?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Whats the best way to approach?
5
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 3:02pm
What is the best way to approach a guy? I've noticed that i have a hard time doing that. I tend to wait until they come to me and sometimes they never do, especially the ones that i am interested in. I told you i was new to dating lol. How can i walk up to a guy and whats some of the best things to say without looking dumb? Keep in mind the only places in my section of the pond is nightclubs and a dragstrip or sometimes on a good day walmart lol. Thanks in advance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 3:43pm
Ask a question. Make a comment on the room or what is happening - solicit an answer or response. Then see if he wants to chat more. It helps a lot to smile and laugh and make eye contact!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 12:50pm

Personally, I think the best way to approach a guy is to keep it simple. I like the smile and look friendly approach, and if he doesn't take the bait, it's his loss.

I also like a convseration about the activity- if you're shopping, make a simple comment about whatever it is you're both looking at. Ask his opinion, or offer yours. If he's buying a video, tell him he'll love it- there's a lot of humor, or if you've got one, ask if he's seen it and what he thought.

As far as not having anyone available near you- I can relate! That was one of the biggest reasons I did OLD- it brought me to many guys I definitely never would have met otherwise, including funnyguy, though we only live about 10 miles from each other.

In this area, 10 miles is nothing- I drive 30 miles to work, and that's not considered a commute!

Good luck, and keep us posted!

Moody, who had to think outside of her box


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 2:57pm

I agree with the others.... eye contact and smiling. If the guy is interested, then he takes the bait. But yes, sometimes it's fun to get creative. For me, when I'm out and I spot the guy I want to meet.... then the "game" begins... Just like a guy, we can try to catch him looking our way. So what I'll do is stare and wait for him to look my way... and when he does, I smile. If he smiles back...wooo hooo. If he looks away, then that's a sign he may not be interested or he's unavailable.

When I'm checking out a guy, I'm trying to guess his age. I'm watching how he interacts with his friends and the waitresses. Is he checking out other woman... is that girl he's with a girlfriend or a sister.... is it time for me to move on or move in.

What I love about karaoke is that everything about it makes a great conversation starter.... What song are you singing (or singing next)? If a guy sings a song I like, I can hold out my hand for a high-five, or say good song or I'll scream like he's a rock star (i love doing that)..... or vica versa. When I'm looking in the book for a new song, guys approach me to borrow the book after me. And I can do the same, if I spot a guy i like looking in one of the books.

Make yourself visible.... like going up to the bar to get your drink instead of ordering from the waitress. Or going to the restroom and walking by him. Mingling with anyone else you might know.... But DON'T constantly get up to use your cell phone.. that will make you look taken. And vice versa, if I see a guy constantly on the phone, that's a negative sign. I have soo many other stories.... Another tried and true is asking his friend if he's available... "can you introduce me, blah blah blah" or getting your friend to approach him and say "my friend can't take her eyes off you".... or something.... in a pinch that works.

And dont' forget the ole fashion "how you doing?" LOL

Have fun!!! Look forward to hearing your stories.. let us know what works.....

Loonybunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:46am
Those are definatley things i'll have to try again if i get to go out any time soon. What is OLD? Is it something like speed dating? I did try the noticing what a guy was looking at at Walmart. I didn't make it obvious or anything, we were in the pet section, and i had my kids with me, but he was really cute and once i made a comment he looked at me like something that was on the bottom of his shoe. Of course my 5 year old son gets protective and yells "Don't you know my mommy is a hottie!!!!" I was mortified but at the same time it was very funny. At least my kids will always be there for me right? I decided again to try the online dating, i went from 60 year olds to 18 to 20. I had to tell one that he was too young for me, now that felt bad. I just can't do anything with someone that is 8 to 10 years younger than me. Oh well maybe better luck next time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 9:52am

OLD stands for Online Dating.

That's really cute about your son.... My son says the funniest things about me, too. But I've got him trained now.... He's trained to say "On her next birthday, my mommy is turning 28." He's eight but I still said to him... It's possible to turn back your age, right? And he says, yes. LOL

Did you watch that new ABC dating show "Age of Love"? It's like the bachelor except the guy has two groups of women.. He's 30 and the two groups are the 20s and the 40s.... which one will he choose? The first couple episodes are portraying the 40s as the better catch and the 20 as immature and dumb. I'm sure the producers are just editing it that way for good entertainment.... but I'm getting a new perspective of what a guy is thinking when I'm watching that show....

So you have an aversion to dating a younger man? I used to feel that way when I was younger. At 29 I was uncomfortable dating anyone even 3 years younger.... But now... I dont' care AT ALL. The youngest I've dated has been 12 yrs (I am 34 and he was 22). (But the older I get, i guess the age gap will get wider, too. lol 35-22.... 36-22... etc.)
But seriously, the average age gap I date right now is 7 years younger.

Anyway, let us know how it goes....

Loonybunny