What's going on w/ me?
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| Fri, 02-24-2006 - 4:35pm |
So, okay...I'm lonely. I want to date, go out with someone for dinner, have conversations w/ someone who is actually interested in my day and what I've been doing...but
I'm not interested in any of the guys that have called me or started talking to me. I don't know if this is just normal for me or if something inside is actually hindering me from going on a date.
For example, the CPA guy and I are supposed to go out tonight, but I canceled on him. First, something about him just strikes me as a little odd/weird. I figured I would just go on my gut instinct with it and cancel. Who knows though, he could've been a good guy. Second, one of my guy friends, who has made it perfectly clear that he wants something more than friends, has just moved back into town. I was at one of my girl friends houses yesterday watching movies and he called and invited himself over. He sat there for a while, made small talk, and left. I just didn't feel like pursuing anything and didn't really make the effort. I didn't want to give him the wrong impression either. I wasn't rude or anything, but I just wasn't trying to seem too interested and give him the wrong ideas. Third, the doctor keeps calling, but I'm not into him either. Fourth, a paramedic is calling wanting to do something tonight too..but I'm not going to see him either.
I want to date, and any one of these guys would be a good fit, but I'm just not feeling it, so to speak. While I want that connection with someone and to feel those butterflies, part of me is holding me back. I keep thinking...why do this again, especially since I'm just not "feeling" it with any of these guys. I know I'm just not giving them a chance, but I just can't really figure out why. I'm not scared of being hurt or anything, so I know that's not it. I guess maybe I'm waiting on that person to just sweep me off of my feet like crush did. Maybe it has to do with crush and that fact that deep down (or not so deep) that I'm still holding onto the possibility that he going to come around.
But..I'm not attracted to any of these guys either. So then I figure, well...I'd rather just do something with the girls than waiste my time w/ guys that I'm not really that into.
Is this normal? What's the deal?
Kait

Kait,
Don't be so hard on yourself.
I think that you just need more time and the right person and then you will want to date.
If one of them appeals to you at all - it might be okay to go on a few dates and see if anything develops. But I know that the doctor has already had this chance so I would not recommend that with him. Just with a good candidate that you don't know that well.
Sometimes it does take a bit for the sparks to start flying. But if none meet your needs or strike you as being attractive them don't settle.
I don't see anything wrong with what you are saying - at least you are getting all of this attention! That is a great thing for your self esteem!!
How is visition going? Have you had any more luck with your custody battle?