What's Wrong With Me?
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What's Wrong With Me?
| Fri, 10-07-2005 - 6:30pm |
I have read this site off and on for a while and never felt the need to ask for advice but I finally need some. I am a single mom of two wonderful children who hasn't had much luck in the love department. Three and a half years ago I gave up and got sick of the losers and went solo for a while. Just recently I began dating again and well the same old losers were still out there they just had different names and backgrounds. That was until I met the guy I currently date. He is everything a girl like me could ask for; sweet, smart, funny, all of the usual things. He is very attentive and considerate, he tells me that I'm beautiful and he is genuinely interested in what I have to say and my feelings. He gives me gifts, calls me everyday, text messages little notes, takes me wherever I want to go. I wasn't too attracted to him physically, not because hes a troll. quite the contrary, just not my type. I like him fine when he's around most of the time but other times I'm just not into him at all. I finally let go of what I felt like was my own petty attitude and let him meet my kids and my mother. They all adore him, my kids ask everyday if hes coming over and my mother who usually doesn't approve of any guy I date smiles at me like I've hit the jackpot. He offers to fix things around my house for me and recently offered to drive me 14 hours to see my best friend since I couldn't fly to see her. He knows that I have made a promise not to have sex until I'm with the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with and he hasn't made a improper move yet. He respects my wishes and tells me that I'm smart for doing it. So I guess my question is this.....After all of the losers and weirdos, why can I not seem to fall for the guy who seems perfect? Sometimes I like him and I really feel like I'm falling for him but other times I just don't feel anything at all. Please help me out here, any advice would help. Thanks!!

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I have a couple of thoughts.
First, if you are not attracted to someone there is not much you can do. If he is a maybe you can give him more time and see if anything develops. But if nothing does then you have to tell him that. Maybe you have just been seeing him too much and he has been trying too hard?
How long have you been dating him?
I think your guard is up really high because you've been let down so much in the past, and at the same time this guy is SOOOO opposite from all those losers, that you can't HELP but ask, "is he for REAL???"
A month may be too short to really know if you're going to fall for him or not, so give yourself a little more time, he may grow on you so much that you can't HELP but be smitten.
Good luck,
I say give it a little time and see what happens.
Well I have to say that I have seriously been thinking about what everyone here has been saying and I have come to some conclusions. Like the last poster I am NOT used to being treated well. This has certainly been a welcome change for me and I am a little more accepting of it as of right now. Tomorrow may come and I may feel completely different.
The way that he treats my mom and family and me is worth so much more than any flash in the pan flirtation. I'm going to give it more time and see what happens. Thanks for all for all of your advice!!
Yaaay!! I'm so glad to hear that you're giving it more time....who knows where it will end up, but it certainly doesn't sound like it's time to quit now!!
good luck!! keep us posted
OK Update!
Earlier in the week we were at my house and just watching TV on the couch when he cleared his throat, it was almost like I knew what was coming next and he said...."I want to tell you something, but I don't know how you're going to take it." I knew what was coming I could just feel it so I stopped him and told him not to say it. I explained to him that I wasn't ready for that, not yet and that I was still so unsure about everything that had happened. So he was kind of hurt but he said he understood. I got really quiet though thinking about it and he sensed it and said he felt selfish for even trying to say anything. In a moment out of a movie he grabbed me around my waist and said I don't know what happened to you, I don't really care, and I'll wait until you're ready and you're sure.
He just keeps surprising me and I'm still hanging in there. I already knew how he felt about me, he didn't have to say it. We have had a very long serious talk about it all and it seems to be fine.
That is good that you spoke your feelings and you do not want to be rushed. I think you are used to working very hard to get love and that maybe this one has thrown you for a loop. It could also be that he is just that into you and you are not used to this much attention.
I think that if you keep it slow and at your pace you will be okay. This is certainly wonderful news.
Also, I think that when you took that much time off dating it has made you more sensitive to your own heart and needs. You are more aware of yourself instead of just trying to please the other person. And that is a good thing.
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