When

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
When
5
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 6:03pm

When is it ok to introduce your child to your boyfriend?

I have been seeing this guy for a few weeks. He is a great guy, the one that I have really been looking for. Things are going great!

He knows that I have a 3 year old little girl. He even offered that she come with when we went bowling saturday. I just don't know when the right time to let him meet her is. Would it be a good idea for him and I to bring her to ChuckyCheese sometime? I just want him to meet her, and see how he is with her before I get too involved.

Her father has never been around, and I have been talking about my new guy around her, and telling her when I am going out with him. I just dont want to bring him around too soon, but not too late eaither. This is the first time I have dated since I had her.

Thanks in advance for the advice!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
In reply to: musicmama_18
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 9:36pm

Hi there and welcome!
I think the general consensus is that we introduce our children to the man in our lives when we're fairly sure it's serious, and going somewhere.
That doesn't mean you have to be engaged before they meet, but I think exclusive is a start.
I have been out with a guy a few times, and he's met my daughter but not my son. However, he's also a coworker, and my kids have met many of my coworkers.
In the end, it has to be up to you. I think it's a good sign that he's interested in meeting her. Since she's as young as she is, she'll probably handle meeting him well. ChuckECheese or something else kid-friendly is probably a good bet for the first meeting.
Hope i've helped, keep us posted!

Moody


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
In reply to: musicmama_18
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 3:18am

Hello,

I also think that the fact that your bf has shown an interest in meeting your dd is a good sign. Shows he's serious about your relationship and wants to take things to another level. Your daughter is part of you, and has made you who you are today, so your bf seems to want to discover this part of your life. If you are ready and willing for them to meet, then take the plunge.

It's stating the obvious, but I truly believe that it is better to introduce someone as a friend initially, not as someone you have been dating. But at the age of three, "dating" is probably a foreign concept anyway. This way, your daughter will get used to your bf's presence in her life, little by little.

Don't forget to continue dating just the two of you though, make the most of each other, so you don't become an instant "family" before you two really get to know each other.

That said, I remember thinking that I would never be ready for my SO to meet my children. He kept gently bringing the idea up, but I was scared to death. In the end, I decided I couldn't put it off for ever. At the first meeting (the Christmas before last, he came round with three other friends of mine that he knew quite well, to decorate the tree with the kids), all my fears were instantly alleviated. So it was well worth taking that leap of faith.

All the best to you. It's a big step, and an exciting one.

Clem xx

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: musicmama_18
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 9:17am

Missclemmy - your picture is so pretty - welcome!

I agree with what you say - it is very well written - glad to have you here - hope you participate more!

Are you really from Schweiz as your profile says? That is my favorite place!! Was there this summer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
In reply to: musicmama_18
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 10:12am

Thank you for your welcome!

After literally a couple of years lurking, but following everyone's stories with a lot of enthusiasm, I decided to fill in my profile and join in! I hope to be able to contribute more, and hopefully share the benefit of my experiences (good and bad) with the great women here on this board...

I have lived in Switzerland since 1992, but I am from the UK originally. I remember your trip to Switzerland in the summer - it really is a beautiful place to visit, and to live.

Hope it's not too freaky for you all that I know so much about you, but you don't know anything about me yet! It feels kind of stalker-ish, but I'm happy to be "out of the closet" !!

Clem xx

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2005
In reply to: musicmama_18
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 10:37am
IMHO, you NEED to be very serious with him before you bring a guy into
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